Heck of a life

To post a reply, login or signup

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

Life just keeps getting more and more strange. My reality is twisting into a place where people do stupid things to me and it's perfectly okay. Literally. I have lost count with the amount of crazy, asinine, unbelievable, foolish things people do to me that they have no moral implications with.

EG #1: I fell in love with a friend who I've been seeing for 2 years on and off. I just found out 2 weeks ago that she's been in a relationship for 8 months with someone else, officially making me the side piece. I'm a biscuit, y'all. A biscuit, fries, cole slaw. That is what I've become with this news. I feel betrayed and as a very spiritual man, I feel like I broke God's law somehow even though I had no clue I was being duped. Just before that, she told me that she cares about my well being and doesn't wanna see me hurt. I am SOO glad I chose not to profess my love because when I tell you I was this close to doing so, I was THIS close to doing so. I would have made a fool of myself. It's been more than 2 weeks since I last heard from this person which in itself is unusual. I would hear from her every day to every 2 days. Haven't heard a thing since. So I guess I've been thrown away.

EG #2: I was out sick from work for over a month. A skin condition I caught from someone, most likely from work as I work around a lot of homeless people who help out by using skills they have. Or it could have been on the buses I ride every day to work where someone is always coughing behind me or sneezing. Anyway, I caught a skin condition that broke me out in a  full-body rash. My face looks like I am alien in nature. I have spots. Light spots that appear to be going away but then kinda not. Moving on, I am dealing with severe anxiety issues and it resulted in having my first panic attack. I felt like I was having a heart attack and was so scared. I called 911 and was told my heart was fine but I need to go to my doctor and tell him about my symptoms. 16 days later at the doctor, that's when I found out it was a panic attack.

In addition to those two things, I was in severe pain for over a month as I live with a chronic pain condition. I did my responsible duties and called out sick. I also sent emails to the people in charge and got no replies. I dealt with all this for over a month and when I finally came back to work which was on my day off, I couldn't help but notice every trace of me was erased from my office, including my hours, files, personal compilations that I made for the company to celebrate volunteer and staff appreciation, which was my idea btw. My name was erased from the In/Out board, in addition to my desk drawers being re-arranged. My ex friend who was also the boss greeted me with a very sarcastic greeting "Oh, look who it is. It's Jonny". I didn't appreciate her tone so I had nothing to say in response to that. The 2-3 times I came back to work after being sick, she was unusually quiet around me and giving me the cold shoulder as if I had did something wrong.

I emailed the main boss and asked him directly why my office appears to have been cleaned out of all things me. I got no response. I am so tired of people ignoring me like I am some thing to be ignored, but when they need me, that's when they know I exist. I worked in admin for 9 months so I know that when he's on the computer, 9/10 times he's on Facebook. So I'm not buying the "Perhaps he was busy" line people often tell me. It appears I was fired without being told I was fired. Mind you, this was a volunteer job so no money lost. My volunteer jobs are long term. Usually working 3 days a week. But it was a job I invested 9 months of energy and time into. I was out sick and this is the treatment I get. Fired. If it was a paid job, they could get a lawsuit brought against them. You don't fire people because they are out sick. Reminds me of 2009 when I was in the ICU because school had stressed me into an almost fatal pain crisis. I called my math instructor from my ICU bed and told him I wouldn't be back for the rest of the semester. He failed me over the phone. Technically, I pass or fail once I take the exam. He failed me for being absent too many times even with doctors' notes which all professors tell you is the only thing that will excuse you from excessive absences. For all he knew, I would be back in 4 days. I fought the board to be able to take that final and I won.

I get treatment like this normally. It's not once in a while, it's basically everyday and I don't know how to live as a human when my life is anything but human. I see the truth because of my nature as a whatever I am and it's hard to hide it from me. But that's not always true as I didn't see that I was a biscuit for 8 whole months. But I knew I wasn't the only one in her life. My intuition told me so. As for the job, it took that day that I came back after a month to see all the changes. I picked up on it quick so I knew what was going on. BTW, I didn't give them the chance to tell me I am no longer needed. I just chose not to show up again. If that's the respect they gave me, I'll give it right back. I was so hurt because, yet again I invested time in helping people because that is my nature. It feels unnatural to not help someone and I get used up and tossed away like I am scum under someone's shoe. Right now I am focusing on my art business which I've neglected for 3 years because I was so busy doing volunteer work. It's time I worry about me for a change. I wouldn't think the world is collectively selfish if they would stop showing me that when dealing with me.


updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 05/16/17 09:04:34AM
Rene''
@rene
11 months ago
1,194 posts
I think it's our easy going attitude that makes people do us that way. It's like we throw a party for someone then don't get invited to it. I think this is why some Empath turns jaded. The saying "do unto others as you would have them unto you" does not pertain if they are Empaths. It seems we always get a bad deal. All we want is peace and love all around but we are left out a lot.
So sorry you are going though this. Seems like you just can't catch a break.
The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

Thank you. I feel like I am so much more than an empath. I've experienced so much strangeness because of my nature. But the humans around me whether family or friend they treat me like I don't exist. I have long time friends who don't even address me anymore but we're still friends on Facebook so yay for that. My mother died back in April and I was really distraught and sad over it. Still am. I couldn't believe the enormous amount of friends and family who all knew about it but chose not to interact with me about it. I was baffled by those who chose not to approach me for some unknown reason to offer me condolences. When I talk about it people tell me well maybe they're not good with knowing what to say. No I see what's going on. They just don't want to talk to me about anything and that hurts the hell out of me. What is it inside me that makes people so scared of me? I mean I was fired without actually being told I was fired. People are so afraid of me yet they want to carry on the illusion that we're still in some form of a relationship.


updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 12/18/16 11:54:22AM
Rene''
@rene
11 months ago
1,194 posts
Unfortunately I know what that feels like. I have always been the one that is push aside until someone needed something. I have also felt people reframe from talking to me. I see old friends in town but they just trun their heads to keep from speaking. I use to ask myself "what's wrong with me" but not anymore.
I didn't notice years ago when I created a Facebook the ones I went to school that was sending me friend request was not the crowd I hung out with back then. It was the very intelligent grip of people that was sending them. I found that quite odd at the time. Not that's I'm stupid or anything but that wasn't the ones I grew up knowing. I think people can sence we are different just like we can sence them. It may be a good thing we are not accepted by them due to the drama and gossiping. That really isn't me.
It does get lonely from time to time but I have learn to love my quiet and tranquil introverted life style. Lol.
The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

You know what, I had a strikingly similar experience with my childhood school friends on Facebook that left me baffled. I looked up one friend from school and we reconnected, then I saw that she was friends with everyone from our mutual circle back in the day. I felt alone and left out. All these years, from teenagehood to adulthood, you guys have gotten married and had kids and kept in contact with each other, including hanging out with each other and I was left out of that? The friend I reconnected with began deleting my comments, no matter what comment it was. It could have said "Hi." and she would delete it. So I wound up deleting her. I should mention another friend of ours who was friends with her on FB, accepted my request but said not a word to me. Not a word! I felt like a freak. Why were people treating me this way?

I've heard many things but part of it is due to the fact that subconsciously, they know we can read them, or get a read on them. Basically we know the truth and not speaking to us is their way of protecting themselves.

Rene''
@rene
11 months ago
1,194 posts
I think they feel our truth. Sure, we are sensitive but we wreak of truth and some may mistake that as judgement but it is not. I can tell you from one Empath to another you have good Vibs , if you didn't I would not respond to your post so it's not you at all. You feel like a teacher so maybe they feel your wisdom and don't know how to be themselves around you. Either way it's sad they don't give us a chance
The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

You just rattled me to my core by saying I feel like a teacher. I can't tell you how often I hear that and how it's related to what I know about myself in the broader sense. But thank you for your words. I appreciate them.

Hermes.V
@hermes
11 months ago
104 posts

You know, you're both teachers, with so much to teach. That being said, teachers and counselors do tend to pick-up other peoples karma. This can feel quite terrible at times if you keep it all to yourselves. Sometimes it's also a bit too much to transmute yourselves. Fortunately there are oases around the world where empaths can connect with other empaths, and do the process together, spread the workload. I guess this also slightly answers the question in the other thread.

It's nice to have an oasis (or vortex) like this where we can mingle energies, and transmute to send back into the world. A metaphor would be that of a a cleaning cloth. As the cloth cleans, it picks up dirt. That's when it goes back to the faucet to rinse off and cleanse. So the cleaning cloth is sometimes clean, sometimes not clean, yet as it cycles, its surroundings get cleaner and cleaner.

Rene''
@rene
11 months ago
1,194 posts
I'm so glad we have this forum. And I'm so glad to know you all.
Hermes.V
@hermes
11 months ago
104 posts

Rene'': I'm so glad we have this forum. And I'm so glad to know you all.

I feel you.  Feels so lucky to be here,  and have this togetherness :). Beautiful times. 

Rene''
@rene
11 months ago
1,194 posts
Kit Kat
@kit-kat
11 months ago
230 posts

Wow... that all sounds so painful! I'm really sorry to hear about everything you've been dealing with. It kinda reminds me of what I've been dealing with = selfishness and narcissism. People can be super heartless.... and yet I still can't help but live in my own personal dreamland/haven thinking that people are generally good-hearted deep down. Broken maybe, but not always good-hearted is the truth, and I guess I've had to slam into this truth like a concrete wall once again by dating a narcissist. 

But anyway. Just wanted to say I can relate and I really do hope that things get better for you soon <3 You're not alone! & you deserve far better...

Light to you, 

Kitkat

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
11 months ago
230 posts

Hermes.V:


Rene'': I'm so glad we have this forum. And I'm so glad to know you all.

I feel you.  Feels so lucky to be here,  and have this togetherness :). Beautiful times. 

[jrEmbed module="jrYouTube" id="622"]

Me three! :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
11 months ago
230 posts

Hermes.V:

You know, you're both teachers, with so much to teach. That being said, teachers and counselors do tend to pick-up other peoples karma. This can feel quite terrible at times if you keep it all to yourselves. Sometimes it's also a bit too much to transmute yourselves. Fortunately there are oases around the world where empaths can connect with other empaths, and do the process together, spread the workload. I guess this also slightly answers the question in the other thread.

It's nice to have an oasis (or vortex) like this where we can mingle energies, and transmute to send back into the world. A metaphor would be that of a a cleaning cloth. As the cloth cleans, it picks up dirt. That's when it goes back to the faucet to rinse off and cleanse. So the cleaning cloth is sometimes clean, sometimes not clean, yet as it cycles, its surroundings get cleaner and cleaner.

WOW.. to me, that is profound!! <3 I think you're probably right...

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

Kit Kat:

Wow... that all sounds so painful! I'm really sorry to hear about everything you've been dealing with. It kinda reminds me of what I've been dealing with = selfishness and narcissism. People can be super heartless.... and yet I still can't help but live in my own personal dreamland/haven thinking that people are generally good-hearted deep down. Broken maybe, but not always good-hearted is the truth, and I guess I've had to slam into this truth like a concrete wall once again by dating a narcissist. 

But anyway. Just wanted to say I can relate and I really do hope that things get better for you soon <3 You're not alone! & you deserve far better...

Light to you, 

Kitkat

Thank you kitkat. I struggle with the same. I have a love/hate relationship with humanity. On the outside, I detest them because too many of them show me their true colors, but deep down I love them and wish to be among them. Friends with them, partners with them.

Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
11 months ago
507 posts

Johny:

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Do you feel like you are constantly dealing with bad luck and are wondering "what's going to go wrong next"? Do you also lie awake at night worrying about this stuff and have trouble sleeping? The reason I ask is I'm trying to better understand your situation to see if it relates to what I went through. If so, I may be able to help you with some suggestions to reverse your course.

Tundra2
@tundra2
11 months ago
57 posts

Rene'': I think they feel our truth. Sure, we are sensitive but we wreak of truth and some may mistake that as judgement but it is not. I can tell you from one Empath to another you have good Vibs , if you didn't I would not respond to your post so it's not you at all. You feel like a teacher so maybe they feel your wisdom and don't know how to be themselves around you. Either way it's sad they don't give us a chance

Rene'': I think it's our easy going attitude that makes people do us that way. It's like we throw a party for someone then don't get invited to it. I think this is why some Empath turns jaded. The saying "do unto others as you would have them unto you" does not pertain if they are Empaths. It seems we always get a bad deal. All we want is peace and love all around but we are left out a lot. So sorry you are going though this. Seems like you just can't catch a break.

Wow Rene I love both your posts, not sure which I like better!  I can totally relate to both. 

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

Hop Daddy:

Jonny:

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Do you feel like you are constantly dealing with bad luck and are wondering "what's going to go wrong next"? Do you also lie awake at night worrying about this stuff and have trouble sleeping? The reason I ask is I'm trying to better understand your situation to see if it relates to what I went through. If so, I may be able to help you with some suggestions to reverse your course.

Yes, I often worry about my constant bad luck. I question the Universe. What amount of bad did I do in a former life why my current good life is so messed up. Why do people take obvious advantage of me and act like it's ok, and more importantly, why do people feel they can walk all over me and I'll just take it? Pretty much sums it up. I often have trouble sleeping but not because of this. It's a different issue.


updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 12/20/16 06:12:24PM
Rene''
@rene
11 months ago
1,194 posts

Tundra2:
Rene'': I think they feel our truth. Sure, we are sensitive but we wreak of truth and some may mistake that as judgement but it is not. I can tell you from one Empath to another you have good Vibs , if you didn't I would not respond to your post so it's not you at all. You feel like a teacher so maybe they feel your wisdom and don't know how to be themselves around you. Either way it's sad they don't give us a chance


Rene'': I think it's our easy going attitude that makes people do us that way. It's like we throw a party for someone then don't get invited to it. I think this is why some Empath turns jaded. The saying "do unto others as you would have them unto you" does not pertain if they are Empaths. It seems we always get a bad deal. All we want is peace and love all around but we are left out a lot. So sorry you are going though this. Seems like you just can't catch a break.

Wow Rene I love both your posts, not sure which I like better!  I can totally relate to both. 



Hello Tundra2 Thank you. I'm trying to fly high though the holidays. Lol.

Shirley
@shirley
11 months ago
36 posts
@ the-importance-of-being-jonny I am so sorry you went through all that. Sounds very painful. It seems like empaths get taken advantage of alot or dumped on.
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
11 months ago
507 posts

Jonny:

(Sorry for the long response but I hope the details will help you).

I'll share my story with you as I think it may relate and help you. I just this year pulled out of a pretty dark 7 year period of bad luck myself. I think it may have gotten so bad that I attracted a dark entity that was keeping me down. What made that especially painful was prior to that I had the midas touch where I had a 10 year period of high level success at work and in my personal life. Back when things were going great I was literally in the zone and could just feel this high level of energy and happiness radiate in everything I did. And then when the economy melted down years ago the wheels on the bus came apart for me in my industry and job and all of a sudden everything imaginable went wrong.

After having so many years of success I did not know how to deal with the negative and darkness that was hitting me. I did not know that I was an empath back then so I thought just working harder at 80+ hours a week would break-through my financial problems. But that only caused more problems as the darkness at work started leaking over to my marriage and everywhere else. And then out of no where I started to have panic attacks. And as you know from yours, those are especially troubling and you live in fear of when the next one will hit. And as I now know, the panic attacks really marked a jump off point where I fell in deeper to my own personal darkness and attracted more and more negative and bad luck in my life. And I was sick all the time. I would catch every flu bug around and then started having more complicated health issues that I attribute to all the negative that I attracted.

I only realized that I was an empath about a year ago. This was important for me because I now believe as empaths bad times and good times effect us stronger than the rest of humanity. And for me taking a look at the spiritual side of things and accepting my empathy really played a role in being able to pull myself out of the dark hole and dead-end path that I was on. I started doing a lot of meditation and grounding daily to rid myself of the constant anxiety that I was under. I greatly slowed down my work hours and started ridding myself of negative inducing things in my life (like narcissist people and listening to the news). I also started praying for guidance to calm down and find a way to better my life. And all those things really helped calm me to the point where I could think straight. I next did a lot of reading about fate, luck/opportunity, and spirit. And in trying to find the pathway back away from all of the bad luck that I had, I stumbled upon this book:

The Attractor Factor by Joe Vitale

This book was a "lightbulb coming on" understanding for me that good and bad things are out there waiting for us each day. And that it's just a matter of attracting good in the world and working hard to detract the bad. In a nutshell, the book is all about flipping your energy to change the direction of your life. It’s the old adage of “attitude is everything” but on a more spiritual level. And I don’t know if Joe Vitale is an empath, but a lot of what he talks about in this book has been reinforced to me by fellow empaths in this community. I now see and believe that life is all about how I react to the good and bad that gets thrown my way. And when I reflect back to when I had my greatest years of success, bad things in my life hardly mattered and just bounced off my armor and didn’t bring me down. They were minor events. And then when I had my period of darkness and bad luck, the reverse happened. At that point every little bad thing that happened in my life was a big deal and was all I could think about. While good stuff in my life at that time just seemed to get overlooked as I was continually thinking about “what bad luck or bad event is going to happen next”. And sure enough I managed to attract more bad things almost like a magnet.

I know as an empath you already understand energies. I would say take extra care to manage out the negative in your life so you can calm and center yourself. Try to be more suspicious of who you let into your life as you don’t need anyone who will bring you down. Try reading the book I suggested and see how much things can improve when you flip your energy and outlook to positive and away from the negative. It won’t happen overnight but it will happen as long as you focus on manifesting good things in your life. And one by one you will start to notice good luck coming back to you and a more normal existence. Best of luck to you. You can flip your energy and flip your luck!

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

Hop Daddy:

Jonny:

(Sorry for the long response but I hope the details will help you).

Back in 2010 when I discovered I was an empath, I feel like I had awakened, and I did. I was helping people more and those who saw my light came straight to me out of many people they could have chosen from because they knew I would be able to help them. As the years went on, I was confident in what God made me. I am a very spiritual person and I always believe things happen for a reason. When people used to tell me I had the potential to teach, I thought about it in a small literal sense. Me, a teacher? I couldn't imagine myself as such because I have very little patience and people don't usually listen to me. But I understand know it was in the broader sense. I see myself teaching those I come in contact with and most don't wish to listen to me. I get that a lot, but later they see that they should have because something in me knows what I am talking about. There's a wisdom that goes a long with me and some people see it in me, others don't take me seriously.

I began feeling negative about myself when more and more people were needy and selfish instead of cautious and gracious. My overall view on humanity has changed so much based on what I witness with my eyes everyday. I try not to judge because it's not up to me to judge, but I don't like what I see and my opinion on humanity as a whole has become very negative. But how they treated me was something that factored greatly in my view of them because I began seeing more selfish behavior and more apathetic behavior and it baffled me so greatly because humans boast they are the most intelligent species in the universe. Why would they not have the common sense to treat people with kindness or help those instead of take from those? It's a question I ask myself everyday and while I try to be positive on what I am and where I am going, humanity brings me down. MY sensitivity to what I experience and whom I experience it from is what makes me depressed.

I am in many situations where people I let into my life and my heart take full advantage of me and don't bother to give back instead of take and it hurts me because I thought humans were better than this. I'm going through a big change in my life that I don't understand. I pray for wisdom and understanding but there is a reason why I am not seeing it at the moment. I have my good days and my bad days, but what I needed to see was that even though I loathe humans at times, I also love them very deeply, and it is that push and pull on my heart that confuses me by their behavior toward me and others. I am very cautious of who I get comfortable with because I don't know if a smiling face can be a back stabber, and that is usually the case for me.

It's a long and rocky journey, but I am learning a little bit along the way. But I thank you for your advice. Since writing this post, the girl I've been seeing has reached out to me, but I confronted certain issues. I want to make clear that we aren't in a relationship. We are friends who eventually found ourselves having feelings for one another. But just because we aren't in a relationship does not mean I appreciate being made a homewrecker. I have my morals and my ethics and being with someone intimately while they are in a relationship with someone else is not something I have ever found myself thinking about because that is simply not something I would do. She said that she would get back to me after Christmas because I confronted her about her confusing statements that hint she likes me more than what she is letting on. I told her I am not in this to be played, friend or no friend. If you are in this to play and toy with my feelings all for the sake of your fun, it is best if we are not in each other's lives.

Jonny

Hermes.V
@hermes
11 months ago
104 posts
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
Bravo Jonny, very well done. What they do with theirs is up to them, but your life is yours and I really like how you stand up and take control of yours. It takes courage and you've shown it, you're the man.

@hop-daddy
I simply love that book and other Joe Vitale stuff. I do believe he is an empath, you can see in his videos, it seems he's 'reading'. Though he's very good in relaying the information in ways that don't freak out the layman.
updated by @hermes: 12/21/16 06:34:47PM
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
11 months ago
507 posts

Jonny:

 

I feel your pain. It is very easy for any of us as empaths to lose faith in humanity and want to pack up and live alone in the woods by ourselves. But if you did that you would not be sharing your gifts with others that need help. And at the end of the day I think that’s what we are here for. I think the key for us is that we have to be careful who we share our gifts with as the selfish narcissists out there are the first to shove themselves to the front of the line to benefit from us. You sound like a very giving person with what you do and who you let into your life. But it sounds like it has backfired a few times where you were used up and discarded. This is going to happen when you open yourself up to everyone. You will attract some people who are bad for you. And those are the type of people who I think you need to try to identify and screen out of your life. I think most of us have been through this. People like that use you up and leave you drained, depressed, and weakened.

It sounds like you are on the right path keeping that girl at an emotional distance until you can sort out her intentions and decide whether she is good or bad for you. And check out that book I recommended and see if it helps you separate the positive from negative in your life and choose your path to happiness.

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

Hermes.V: @the-importance-of-being-jonny Bravo Jonny, very well done. What they do with theirs is up to them, but your life is yours and I really like how you stand up and take control of yours. It takes courage and you've shown it, you're the man. @hop-daddy I simply love that book and other Joe Vitale stuff. I do believe he is an empath, you can see in his videos, it seems he's 'reading'. Though he's very good in relaying the information in ways that don't freak out the layman.

Thank you. I appreciate your words. I would not want anyone doing to me what I wouldn't do to them. Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

Hop Daddy:

Jonny:

 

I feel your pain. It is very easy for any of us as empaths to lose faith in humanity and want to pack up and live alone in the woods by ourselves. But if you did that you would not be sharing your gifts with others that need help. And at the end of the day I think that’s what we are here for. I think the key for us is that we have to be careful who we share our gifts with as the selfish narcissists out there are the first to shove themselves to the front of the line to benefit from us. You sound like a very giving person with what you do and who you let into your life. But it sounds like it has backfired a few times where you were used up and discarded. This is going to happen when you open yourself up to everyone. You will attract some people who are bad for you. And those are the type of people who I think you need to try to identify and screen out of your life. I think most of us have been through this. People like that use you up and leave you drained, depressed, and weakened.

It sounds like you are on the right path keeping that girl at an emotional distance until you can sort out her intentions and decide whether she is good or bad for you. And check out that book I recommended and see if it helps you separate the positive from negative in your life and choose your path to happiness.

Thank you. I will check out the book. I also need people like me to discuss problems with. That is the #1 factor in why I feel the way I do inside is because I have no one to relate to. No one to talk to. My father is the only parent I have left and sometimes I think about telling him everything, but one of my biggest issues with him which I tell him about all the time is he doesn't listen to me. Before I finish my sentence, he's ready to cut me off to reply to something I haven't yet finished telling him. As well as not giving me eye contact when speaking to him. It appears like he doesn't care. I get treatment like this from most people in my life. I find it maddening.

Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
11 months ago
507 posts

@the-importance-of-being-jonny:

I hear you on challenges finding people to talk to. Most people would think I am certifiably nuts if I tried to explain the things I feel, hear, and see on a daily basis. And my family is fairly religious and being an empath really isn't something that would go over well. So I actually have not told my parents or brothers myself. I am guessing from your description that your Dad isn't one to talk to about this stuff either. 

I know you'd probably feel better talking to someone in person one on one. Have you looked for any empath meeting groups in your area? Sometimes there are even area psychologists or counselors that also specialize in the spiritual realm. That may be another good place to go to talk to someone who can relate and listen. And of course, the nice thing about this community is that you can come here to share/vent your situations and when needed get advice.

P.S.- I also get some people who won't look me in the eye when talking to them. It seems to happen more often when I am having a tough day or have been dealing with a lot of emotional intensity. I often wonder if I put off an aura when upset that is off-putting but haven't quite figured that out.

Angel
@angel
11 months ago
607 posts

Hi Jonny, Good to see you Friend:) It's been awhile and I'm glad your still here :)

I'm really sorry about the girl it really sucks what she did but there alot of people in this world that suck! It's hard not to take it personally since they come into our lives and become such an important part of it. I don't think people intentionally, for the most part come into our lives to destroy them, I think, that most of them just don't think. They don't think about the effects of their actions, how it effects the people they are doing it to, or the damage they create because of it.

My ex was like that. I spent many years hating him because I could never figure out how a human being could have children and walk away as if they never exsisted, even after spending two years with them. One day it's "I love you and will never leave you"  and the next, their gone. I e-mailed him recently to let him know we moved and have a current address for the kids. Even after 15 years he wrote back " I don't care, don't ever contact me again!" So if the kids die, you don't want to know? This is when it solidified my belief that most people don't think, but alot of them just don't care either. My daughter is more effected by it then my son. Probebly because she was older and remembers him more. But I told her, you can't control people, you can't make them feel emotions or love. You can't make them feel guilt or or even have a heart. So, it's pointless to try, instead of wasting time trying to control what is not in your control,, you should channel that energy what can be controlled. You don't your biological dad's love, but you do have a dad that made the choice to be your dad and has spent the last 11 years loving you raising you and standing by your side through everything. Instead of giving your love to someone who isn't worth your love, channel that love towards the one who does love you and will appreciate the love you return.

I'm going to advise you do the same, my Friend. I know it hurts and I know how hard it is to accept that people are capable of doing this to another person, by I'm sending you energy to help heal your heart. But what you have to know is that you are not a buiscut. You are more then that and you deserve more so don't let this girl dictate who you are because she clearly doesn't know! With that said, you are obviously looked after by the higher realms. It sounds like the truth was found out before it was to late and somehow fate intervened and for this, you are blessed! She wasn't the one, which means the one is still out there somewhere , so don't give up!

As far as feeling cursed...GOD!do I KNOW this feeling!!! hahaha. But over the years, I started gaining a different perspective. If there is light and there is dark, and we are the balance of both light and dark, then that means that within ever shadow there is light, and within the light, somehwhere there is a shadow. So Maybe the purpose of the dark is to find the light within it. And I've kind of made it a mission to do that. Yes, when it rains, it pours like a freakin hurricane, but it reaps so many rewards. I think we started this forum around the same time and you have been through so much, but you have overcome so much, both with stregnth and with dignity. You've held you head up high and you have battled so much. Though the path has been brutal, you have brought inspiration to alot of people, and that is all light, your light! And you will continue to do so. Not everyone in the world will see or appreciate it, but there are people here that do :) So hang in there my friend and know that you are thought of and cared for,both in the heavens and on earth :)

Blessed Be,

Angel

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

Angel:

Hi Jonny, Good to see you Friend:) It's been awhile and I'm glad your still here :)

I'm really sorry about the girl it really sucks what she did but there alot of people in this world that suck! It's hard not to take it personally since they come into our lives and become such an important part of it. I don't think people intentionally, for the most part come into our lives to destroy them, I think, that most of them just don't think. They don't think about the effects of their actions, how it effects the people they are doing it to, or the damage they create because of it.

My ex was like that. I spent many years hating him because I could never figure out how a human being could have children and walk away as if they never exsisted, even after spending two years with them. One day it's "I love you and will never leave you"  and the next, their gone. I e-mailed him recently to let him know we moved and have a current address for the kids. Even after 15 years he wrote back " I don't care, don't ever contact me again!" So if the kids die, you don't want to know? This is when it solidified my belief that most people don't think, but alot of them just don't care either. My daughter is more effected by it then my son. Probebly because she was older and remembers him more. But I told her, you can't control people, you can't make them feel emotions or love. You can't make them feel guilt or or even have a heart. So, it's pointless to try, instead of wasting time trying to control what is not in your control,, you should channel that energy what can be controlled. You don't your biological dad's love, but you do have a dad that made the choice to be your dad and has spent the last 11 years loving you raising you and standing by your side through everything. Instead of giving your love to someone who isn't worth your love, channel that love towards the one who does love you and will appreciate the love you return.

I'm going to advise you do the same, my Friend. I know it hurts and I know how hard it is to accept that people are capable of doing this to another person, by I'm sending you energy to help heal your heart. But what you have to know is that you are not a buiscut. You are more then that and you deserve more so don't let this girl dictate who you are because she clearly doesn't know! With that said, you are obviously looked after by the higher realms. It sounds like the truth was found out before it was to late and somehow fate intervened and for this, you are blessed! She wasn't the one, which means the one is still out there somewhere , so don't give up!

As far as feeling cursed...GOD!do I KNOW this feeling!!! hahaha. But over the years, I started gaining a different perspective. If there is light and there is dark, and we are the balance of both light and dark, then that means that within ever shadow there is light, and within the light, somehwhere there is a shadow. So Maybe the purpose of the dark is to find the light within it. And I've kind of made it a mission to do that. Yes, when it rains, it pours like a freakin hurricane, but it reaps so many rewards. I think we started this forum around the same time and you have been through so much, but you have overcome so much, both with stregnth and with dignity. You've held you head up high and you have battled so much. Though the path has been brutal, you have brought inspiration to alot of people, and that is all light, your light! And you will continue to do so. Not everyone in the world will see or appreciate it, but there are people here that do :) So hang in there my friend and know that you are thought of and cared for,both in the heavens and on earth :)

Blessed Be,

Angel

Hi Angel,

It's been a long time. Good to see you. Glad to still be here. I think about people just not thinking. I hear that a lot, but for me it's hard to give them the benefit of the doubt because if the tables were turned, especially with me being empathic. They would rip me a new one for being flawed, incompetent. Just not care that I have feelings. But those same humans expect me to still talk to them after such things that were done to me and I am not a forget about it type of person. I always remember and that is what makes it hard for me to be around them again. I read everyone's positive messages to me about what I had to say and I am thankful for them. But I feel like I've been through this game for so long now that I should almost expect it from people. I have MAJOR trust issues naturally because I've been hurt so much.

I really have the mentality that I cannot or should not be in one place for too long because people are going to get used to me and take advantage and as soon as I can't help them anymore, they'll show me how much they ever cared for me. At my FORMER job for example, the boss, Roy, he added me on Facebook and was all happy about it and he would say things like "We love you, Jonny!". And a few months later, look at what happens. He can't even face me to tell me the truth about what's going on.

I will be honest with you Angel, most of the time, I cannot help but feel like a freak that causes this. All I have to do is just be present, and people just want to take from me and use me. It's hard to cope with being an empath in addition to many other things I learned about myself that are more important than being an empath that I feel together, make me this big freak that people want to be around and use while they can. I know I shouldn't think of myself as that, but it's hard not to see myself as that when so many people in my personal life, it's not that they treat me differently. They do so and don't see a problem with what they are doing. As if they are oblivious to firing me without telling me while I was out sick. Or letting me be intimate with a cheater. Something I personally would NEVER do.

One thing is for sure, the more I go through the worst of the worst, I never give up. I wasn't made to surrender to someone or give up on life because of how hard it is for me. I just keep it moving while still being hurt. That is difficult, but possible. I do it all the time.

I wake up some days with the utter disbelief that I have a life that I do. And that God sees little old me for such a big purpose. What inspires me is hearing how I changed the life of, or helped someone who needed it. Even if I didn't think I was helping. I've heard such heartfelt responses to me and that is what keeps me going.

It's good to see you again, Angel and thank you for your words. I appreciate them.

Jonny

Hermes.V
@hermes
11 months ago
104 posts
Just a bit more Jonny.
I'll be frank, it'll probably get acutely worse before it gets better. It seems like you'll be going through a certain phase of 'Dark Soul of The Night'. You'll make it through though, and suddenly things will become just so clear. Its going to be really painful, probably more than anything you've ever experienced. And its like dancing on a tight-rope, where on one side you might fall into insanity, or on the other physical death / suicide. Still, hang in there, for the tightrope is high in the sky, higher than the clouds, that the view is magnificent. And once you've seen, you'll never fall, for your wings have grown, and you're free to fly.
The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
11 months ago
794 posts

This I definitely know. Six years ago, I heard something to the effect of "In order for your abilities to grow stronger, you must go through much pain." And so far, it's been accurate. Over the past six years, I've gone through some things and I'm changing. Stuff is happening to me. But I know it's gonna get so worse. I wish I could recite my entire 2016, but it would be a long post. Suffice it to say, it was just bad thing after bad thing which included the deaths of my mother and best friend. I feel like I haven't had the chance to properly mourn because I'm also going through other stuff, spiritual stuff that also has me a wreck. My birthday is coming up next month and I want to get away. I'm thinking a sight-seeing trip on Amtrak. Something I've never done before. Just take pictures of the scenery and enjoy my solitude.

I began last year happy because I was turning 33 which is an angel number and also my favorite number to the second power(3). So I automatically felt lucky because I got to be 33 for a whole year. I was so wrong. It was the worst year I have ever lived so far. I just hope 34 is kind to me. I can only take so much before I start feeling crazier than I normally feel.


updated by @the-importance-of-being-jonny: 01/12/17 06:14:51PM
Dice
@dice
10 months ago
284 posts

Loss of mom and uncle here in 2016. So much changing so quickly.. and stronger you grow. Good to see you again. 

Be well.

dice

The Importance of Being Jonny
@the-importance-of-being-jonny
10 months ago
794 posts

Good to see you too, Dice.

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book