Anger...the taught emotion?

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Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
Yep, I'm going to talk about anger again because it's the thread that keeps my ego attached. My ego knows , by now, it cannot manipulate my love for others or any living thing. It knows I carry myself without shame or care what others think of me. It knows I do not like others to feel pain or fear. The one thing it has on me is that Anger is not a feeling I deal with well. I don't get angry for no reason , it's usually surfaces when a person has went above and beyond the normal means to hurt me. But what is Anger? What I feel from Anger is the fear of not being able to control a situation that is spinning out of control and I have to say there is one person in my life , that can't control me, they spins out of control and targets me directly or indirectly so they can get my attention. They don't care if this is positive attention or negative attention, as long as they get my attention.

I have tried many ways to "not" get angry but it keeps coming back.
I have been not responding to the Anger but it gets caught bundled up inside and I end up angry on the inside by keeping my mouth shut. When I release the energy back out into the universe it keeps coming back.
I think it's because I was taught this Anger from such an early age by this one person ...my father. It's a hard habit to break. I cut cords to him months ago but he will not stop. Creeping by my house at all hours. Calling my phone. He is a text book narcissist. He is one of those people that's going to get attention no matter what.

I have to say I do not Anger easily but his negative energy enrages me. He's 80 years old and still has not found peace.

He's not a good person and is not allowed around my granddaughter.

I have often thought maybe he has some kind of possession to make him do the evil things he does.

I really don't know why I'm posting this ..I have read some on here says there is too much negativity on this forum but you all are my teachers or the ones I look to for explanations and I'm not trying to bring people down. Just need some suggestions..again.
I found this one article though.
http://www.spiritualityhealth.com/blog/julie-peters/spirituality-anger
updated by @rene: 05/11/17 08:41:00PM
Lotusfly
@lotusfly
last year
410 posts

Hi Rene,

There's nothing wrong with anger if it's expressed well. This can take time if you're used to holding it in. I suggest letting it out a little at a time by explaining what's bothering you to the person who's making you angry. Like you said, there's a reason you get angry, and the trick is learning to express it assertively.

As far as your father, have you tried ignoring his calls? Have you told him to stay off your property? Have you threatened a restraining order? Some of these suggestions may seem "out there" but not for a narcissist. I can relate because my relationship with my father is similar. My lack of response eventually stopped him from contacting me, because even a narcissist can't stand to be ignored. I live far from him though. Other than a restraining order, I don't know how else you can keep him off your property.

And please don't be ashamed of your anger. It is a learning tool that signifies something needs to change. It is also a survival tool. And all Empaths experience the range (if not more) of human emotions, so no worries about posting about anything negative here, because life is not always a bowl of cherries ;)

Love and blessings~

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts

Lotusfly:

Hi Rene,

There's nothing wrong with anger if it's expressed well. This can take time if you're used to holding it in. I suggest letting it out a little at a time by explaining what's bothering you to the person who's making you angry. Like you said, there's a reason you get angry, and the trick is learning to express it assertively.

As far as your father, have you tried ignoring his calls? Have you told him to stay off your property? Have you threatened a restraining order? Some of these suggestions may seem "out there" but not for a narcissist. I can relate because my relationship with my father is similar. My lack of response eventually stopped him from contacting me, because even a narcissist can't stand to be ignored. I live far from him though. Other than a restraining order, I don't know how else you can keep him off your property.

And please don't be ashamed of your anger. It is a learning tool that signifies something needs to change. It is also a survival tool. And all Empaths experience the range (if not more) of human emotions, so no worries about posting about anything negative here, because life is not always a bowl of cherries ;)

Love and blessings~

yes  I have had law enforcement up here a number of times   Even had him committed for a week for evolution.    I have got to get past his energy and let it go   

Bing
@bing
last year
548 posts

Hi

I would like to suggest that you read the book "Spirit Matters" by Jim Self and Roxane Burnett.  They have some excellent shielding techniques and lessons on how to ground your negative energy and refill with light energy. 

You may also wish to get a restraining order against him.  He seems to be a bit out of control.  You can also ask Archangel Michael for protection.  I hope this helps.

Throw some love into the wind.

Bing.

Jojo
@jojo
last year
19 posts

Yes, anger comes from a fear of something. It could be a fear of lack of control or a fear of adequacy, it could be a fear of separation from others or a disorientating combination. The principles of love in combination with mindfulness and yoga/meditation can best help you overcome it, helping you to be more aligned with love and in a place of greater unconditional peace. The truth will set you free. If your feeling overwhelmed in a situation, walk away and give your self somewhere peaceful to work through it.  Frustration comes from a conscious or subconscious fear of not having control over an outcome, fearing that you need something or need something quicker in order to achieve satisfaction (let that point settle in for a bit). Frustration can quickly turn into anger if not healed with love. True satisfaction comes from being one with love. One of the lessons we have to learn on earth is that we have to have faith in and serve love and have to let go of outcome whilst always being true to the principles of love and whilst having compassion and understanding for those who show a lack of consciousness. But a restraining order might well be the best thing. Dont focus so much on the destination but instead focus on the vibration of the journey because the things you learn on the journey and the way you feel about the journey will, in turn affect the destination. All negative behaviour comes from a lack of love. Remember, enlightenment always proceeds confusion. Love and light


updated by @jojo: 12/03/16 06:45:23PM
Lotusfly
@lotusfly
last year
410 posts

I have personally found that sadness is the root of anger. When a person is mad about something, they are actually sad...it's just one way sadness manifests.

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
I agree @lotusfly. When some one intends to hurt me or my feelings I do get mad. Simply because they went out of their way with their intent.
I'm excluded from my family this holiday for not allowing to be manipulated by my father any longer now the family that once hated him ..love him again. You know how those narcissist and their flying monkeys are. Lol.
Jojo
@jojo
last year
19 posts

 A really important thing as an empath is to focus on what you give to others, not what you receive from them. Dont own the emotions of others but instead rocognise them as someone else's. And remember all negative behaviour comes from a lack of love. It really sounds like fear has taken over his soul and stopped his heart chakra from spinning, resulting in what is commonly known as a psychopath. They are master actors and love to play the victim. I suggest, If you feel he is a psychopath (Id be very surprised if he isn't), sit down with the most mentally mature member of your family and explain to them whats happening. It should be pretty obvious when you show them a list psychopath traits, that thats what he is.  Then in the future if its you or him they have to choose between they are far less likely to be manipulated into a decision. Indeed they are much less likely to be influenced by him in any way. love


updated by @jojo: 12/04/16 03:58:15PM
Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
Rene'':
Rene'':
I had him put into a mental hospital for a week for an evaluation and I warned them that he is a master manipulator but after about a week he had them convinced we was trying to kill him. Lol. Whatever. I waited on him hand and foot for 4 years with out my siblings help until the abuse become unbearable. I had to step away from him to save myself. Constantly being told I am worthless and should never been conceived works on a person after a while. I had to live with him and my mother for 18 years and they both was this way . I can't be with him any longer for the pure reason of having to put my mental health first. Now I'm the bad person. Oh well, so be it. If needing peace of mind and not allowing my granddaughter around a child predator makes me bad ..so be it. I'll choose bad all day long.
Jojo
@jojo
last year
19 posts

Straight up psychopath. They understand the emotional needs of others and are very good at reading people but are incapable of feeling any thing other than fear. They are always serving fear. If I can help in any way let me know. Love and light

Snap
@snap
last year
103 posts

I agree with you about control and people wishing to control attention, which is energy.

On a suggestion, I've starting practicing my own form of Ho'oponopono. I use the four statements: "I love you (to Source), I'm sorry, Please forgive me, thanks.

I do so from a collective mind-frame. I usually focus on being sorry for unconscious/programmed responses and behaviours that don't serve humanity. I usually see  how as an individual, I "play into" the habits in some way. This doesn't mean I'm saying sorry for the fact that someone else tried to control and caused anger; I may for example be cognisant  that such people have often been subjected to controlling behaviour. I ask forgiveness for being unconscious too often of the habits that drive everyone (often in a quite insane way). With "thanks" I imagine the message being petitioned/sent to source. Before thanks, I often request that the situation is resolved in the best way possible given the constraints (on free will, karmic, etc) for the highest good.

I also often ask for guidance after doing this.

I find anger is the most difficult thing to break from to do this, of all things. It is not so difficult with, for example, unfortunate situations I'd rather not see others experiencing.

I do so, as seems to be generally advised, without any expectations of what will happen.

Yet as people say, I am often very pleasantly surprised at what does happen. This is not always the case, but it's not uncommon.

S

Nocturne's Angel
@nocturnes-angel
last year
867 posts

Hi Rene,

This may not see logical, make sense, seem doable but have you tried to forgive your father?

I'm not stating to forget the past, but I am stating to forgive, not just for his peace of mind, etc.  but simply for your own wellbeing.

The two of you needn't be close, friendly, etc.  but at least the past will finally be settled on a somewhat positive note & it may be enough for him to finally move on which in turn allows you a life free of him trying to bother you.

If you don't want to talk with him, I'd recommend writing him to let him know that you have come to a place in your life where you are able to realize that no one's life is perfect or blameless but you realize that the past has helped you become the person you are today & that you have forgiven him, as well as, yourself & anyone else for the actions, things that have happened in the past & that you wish him a life full of hope & happiness & you hope he wishes you the same things.

Best wishes to you :)

Rene'': Yep, I'm going to talk about anger again because it's the thread that keeps my ego attached. My ego knows , by now, it cannot manipulate my love for others or any living thing. It knows I carry myself without shame or care what others think of me. It knows I do not like others to feel pain or fear. The one thing it has on me is that Anger is not a feeling I deal with well. I don't get angry for no reason , it's usually surfaces when a person has went above and beyond the normal means to hurt me. But what is Anger? What I feel from Anger is the fear of not being able to control a situation that is spinning out of control and I have to say there is one person in my life , that can't control me, they spins out of control and targets me directly or indirectly so they can get my attention. They don't care if this is positive attention or negative attention, as long as they get my attention. I have tried many ways to "not" get angry but it keeps coming back. I have been not responding to the Anger but it gets caught bundled up inside and I end up angry on the inside by keeping my mouth shut. When I release the energy back out into the universe it keeps coming back. I think it's because I was taught this Anger from such an early age by this one person ...my father. It's a hard habit to break. I cut cords to him months ago but he will not stop. Creeping by my house at all hours. Calling my phone. He is a text book narcissist. He is one of those people that's going to get attention no matter what. I have to say I do not Anger easily but his negative energy enrages me. He's 80 years old and still has not found peace. He's not a good person and is not allowed around my granddaughter. I have often thought maybe he has some kind of possession to make him do the evil things he does. I really don't know why I'm posting this ..I have read some on here says there is too much negativity on this forum but you all are my teachers or the ones I look to for explanations and I'm not trying to bring people down. Just need some suggestions..again. I found this one article though. http://www.spiritualityhealth.com/blog/julie-peters/spirituality-anger

Angel
@angel
last year
607 posts

Like all emotions, there is a light and shadow to anger. One the light side, anger fuels passion and allows us to set boundaries, stand up to injustices and create life-changing changes on an individual and global scale. Anger is the cause of many laws we have in place today against sex crimes, human rights and environment issues. It is the reason why we have many of the non-profit programs we have today against animal abues/neglect or protests because Trump won :) It is the reason why America is a free country and no longer ruled by England/France. It is the what created the underground railroad and civil war that eventually paved the way for slaves to be free. These changes are huge and would have never come about without anger. But on a shadow side, it can consume and destroy. It can destroy not only the body but also the soul. It can blind us to the truth and block us from seeing the light in other people. It can be the catalyst for hatred and on an individual and global scale can cause much death and destruction. It can create apathy and a detachment towards other people. Domestic violence is anger in it's shadow. However, anger is often a catalyste for something deeper. For you, I believe it's pain. The anger keeps coming back because you have pain that hasn't been healed yet. Pain is the root cause, anger is merely the symptom. Until you work on the pain and begin to heal it, your anger will remain.

Some people say to find forgiveness, but sometimes the pain is so great and some crimes are simply unforgivable,and that's ok. This issue may never be fully resolved with him until many lifetimes or not at all,for he may never change. And you can't control that, that is his lot to deal with. But forgiveness is rarely about making nice and having fuzzy feelings about someone, it's more about accepting what the person has done and finding a way to move on from the damage they have done. Finding a resolution. The resolution isn't about finding a mutual agreement between you and that person, it's a matter of finding resolution about the person and situation that will allow you to let go of the situation that holds you hostage. But the starting point is really about recognizing the root (pain) and working through it. Many times this requires us to see recognize different aspects of the situation, recognize the full effect it had on ourselfves and many times walking in their shoes to fully gain an understanding of what it was like to be who they were. This also allows us to see the light that is within them and see them on a bigger scale of things. Alot of people aren't willing to do this because they simply don't want to, but it is necessary in order to find the full truth. I'm not quick to through therapy out there, but in your case, I think it could really benefit to have someone like that help you sift through everything and bring in an outside perspective. If your really wanting and ready to let the anger go, then working through the pain will help you do that and eventually the anger will begin to subside. It may never go away, but it will subside enough for you to move forward. I'm sending some healing energy to help.

Blessed Be,

Angel

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts

Nocturne's Angel:

Hi Rene,

This may not see logical, make sense, seem doable but have you tried to forgive your father?

I'm not stating to forget the past, but I am stating to forgive, not just for his peace of mind, etc.  but simply for your own wellbeing.

The two of you needn't be close, friendly, etc.  but at least the past will finally be settled on a somewhat positive note & it may be enough for him to finally move on which in turn allows you a life free of him trying to bother you.

If you don't want to talk with him, I'd recommend writing him to let him know that you have come to a place in your life where you are able to realize that no one's life is perfect or blameless but you realize that the past has helped you become the person you are today & that you have forgiven him, as well as, yourself & anyone else for the actions, things that have happened in the past & that you wish him a life full of hope & happiness & you hope he wishes you the same things.

Best wishes to you :)


Rene'': Yep, I'm going to talk about anger again because it's the thread that keeps my ego attached. My ego knows , by now, it cannot manipulate my love for others or any living thing. It knows I carry myself without shame or care what others think of me. It knows I do not like others to feel pain or fear. The one thing it has on me is that Anger is not a feeling I deal with well. I don't get angry for no reason , it's usually surfaces when a person has went above and beyond the normal means to hurt me. But what is Anger? What I feel from Anger is the fear of not being able to control a situation that is spinning out of control and I have to say there is one person in my life , that can't control me, they spins out of control and targets me directly or indirectly so they can get my attention. They don't care if this is positive attention or negative attention, as long as they get my attention. I have tried many ways to "not" get angry but it keeps coming back. I have been not responding to the Anger but it gets caught bundled up inside and I end up angry on the inside by keeping my mouth shut. When I release the energy back out into the universe it keeps coming back. I think it's because I was taught this Anger from such an early age by this one person ...my father. It's a hard habit to break. I cut cords to him months ago but he will not stop. Creeping by my house at all hours. Calling my phone. He is a text book narcissist. He is one of those people that's going to get attention no matter what. I have to say I do not Anger easily but his negative energy enrages me. He's 80 years old and still has not found peace. He's not a good person and is not allowed around my granddaughter. I have often thought maybe he has some kind of possession to make him do the evil things he does. I really don't know why I'm posting this ..I have read some on here says there is too much negativity on this forum but you all are my teachers or the ones I look to for explanations and I'm not trying to bring people down. Just need some suggestions..again. I found this one article though. http://www.spiritualityhealth.com/blog/julie-peters/spirituality-anger



Thank you for those soft words. I have forgave him what seems like many many times but I still stay on guard because it seems nothing works. The more I ignore him the harder he tries to hurt me. I stay away from him but he works though my siblings to get to me. I have told him nicely and not so nicely to leave me alone. I also told him I loved him but I can not tolarate the abuse. I would like to think it's his age (80) but this has been a life long thing. When I do ignore him he gets so angery he gets beside his self. I will try one more time this weekend because it's his birthday .
I have just about decided to only love him from a distance.
I'm going to take your suggestions and try it on his birthday. ❤️

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
I do feel empathy for the man. What a terrible place to be. Just fighting air and probably death but pride forbids him to turn it all around . All I can do is forgive or let it drive me crazy. I wish him peace and love.
Visitor
@visitor
11 months ago
303 posts

I'm a very angry person. Some of it comes from my life experience, but now I'm thinking that I'm picking up other people's anger and mistaking it for my own. I didn't know I was empathic until last year, so I'm new to this. I'm trying to drain out anger that isn't mine, and channel my own rage into a force for good. Wish me luck - I've got a long road ahead!

Rene''
@rene
11 months ago
1,194 posts
@Visitor sometimes I feel in complete control but then sometimes Anger sneaks up on my blind side. I'm still a work in progress also.
Visitor
@visitor
11 months ago
303 posts

I think anger is something we're born with, and most of us don't use it properly. We're told to make it go away, so it implodes. If we channel it the right way, it can be a powerful tool. It tells us when things aren't right. Anger is good. (Hate is the bad one.)

Rene''
@rene
11 months ago
1,194 posts
Do you have some tips on how to channelanger. ? I usually clean. Lol
TigerLily
@tigerlily
11 months ago
309 posts
@rene, you are great!

I get angry when a see justice is not being served and people getting away with shit. I get angry that this society is catering to idiots and we have to watch we say not to offend people. I get angry that those people take offense to the dumbest thing and don't grow a pair. I get angry when I put my needs first and people have a problem with. :)

I get it we are supposed to be happy and love everythibg and accept everything for it is. Sometimes I feel that this is not possible anymore and this world/society is getting out of control. To many narcs taking advantage of nice people like us, because they can't figure out there own shit. I know I'm in pain, too many people did me wrong and anger is my wall I use. These days, I've been better at sniffing at the narcs. Not 100% yet, but still trying :)

Rene, you are more than welcome to post anything anger related. We get you :)

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