Rene''
Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,195 posts

It is hard to create boundaries, especially for the people you love and want to help but gaining control is very import ..to m anyway.   I was pulled in many different direction everyday   I could not tell anyone "no".   I was very tired.  Very depressed from tiring their emotions around with me.   They would tell me their problems and they would feel better but I would take these emotions on and I could not handle it any longer   I was scared to tell them no because I was needed and wanted and feared loosing the people I love     I felt like I was doing them wrong   But....after I started say no .. they stopped asking me and now I have more time to myself and to heal     I sti help people but I put my health first   I can't help anyone if I can't help myself .    I do a lot of grounding and sending love to them and everyone   


Lol. Sorry for the spelling. I was half asleep. Lol
updated by @rene: 11/04/16 07:59:00AM
Cat Whisperer
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 years ago
767 posts

Like Rene, I used to have a hard time saying no, for the same reasons you have. I didn't want to appear cold and uncaring. It is hard to practice saying no and for a long time I even felt guilty for saying it. However, again like Rene...since I have been saying no, people are starting to respect those boundaries. It also gets easier to say it when you see that the result is being able to care for yourself. That is first and foremost. Also remember....No is a complete sentence. No explaination needed. You need to have these boundaries as an empath....you will be happier and healthier for it.

I also want to add, you can weed out the users in your life practicing these boundaries. The users will get standoffish and perhaps even a little angry when you tell them no. You don't need those types around anyhow. However, the people that love and care for you....they will still love you, but they will also have respect for you and your decisions.
updated by @cat-whisperer: 11/04/16 07:24:12AM
Emmy Long
Emmy Long
@emmy-long
2 years ago
486 posts

Perspective played a big role into being able to create boundaries. Once I learned how to view MY problems as different from OTHERS' problems, things got easier. 

I had to tell myself (and then internally enforce) that my feelings were mine to deal with. And others' feelings were mine to try to understand as I chose, but never to take on. 

You don't have to choose between listening to somebody and being their for them emotionally, and being cold to them. You can listen and let somebody know you understand and care, without taking on the burden of their emotions. 

What worked for me was opening myself up to feeling what they felt on a level that let me understand, but not being so open that I allowed myself to be so consumed by their pain. 

This took a lot of meditation and counseling. I learned how to feel what they felt, but a THEIR emotions, not my own. And then I educated myself on how to talk through a crisis scenario with a person to help them deal with THEIR OWN emotions, and then deal with my own emotions seperately. 

Cat Whisperer
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 years ago
767 posts

It is hard to block what comes through the media. I choose not to watch a whole lot of tv because of this. The news....forget it, I turn it off. You are not alone. As Nikki stated, it's a part your empathness. Try checking out some of the tools here, there are also books out there to help.

Blessings


updated by @cat-whisperer: 11/06/16 07:18:57PM

Want to reply? Login here

From Our Sponsors

  • empath book