Fake People and Empaths

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Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
I use to struggle with this. Their not full blown narcissist but they are fake. Before I gained some control over other people's rollercoaster of emotions , I gave in..a lot ..almost every time. Those people that always was either emotional wrecks or those who hunger for attention. Even the ones that were narcissist but needed a secret councilor to confess their sins to but would find a reason to blame their actions on the victims , by the end of the conversation or ask for help but after you open their hearts to them they laugh at you behind your back saying your crazy. I'm pretty sure everyone here has had at least one of these experiences.
Frankly..I have become a cold hearted "b" word because if I can't avoid them all togeather I have started saying exactly what I think. It's because there are "real people that needs help". I'm tired of wasting time on these energy suckers.
I have recently read about some private groups that lures Empaths in and acts like they are Empaths and are there to help Empaths heal but instead , are luring them into a cult. (A dangerous cult). I can see how easily this could happen. We just want everyone to be ok and sometimes we don't listen to our intuition espically the newly awakened Empaths.
Be Careful who Befriends You. Not everyone has good intentions.


http://themindsjournal.com/6-reasons-empaths-freeze-around-inauthentic-people/
updated by @rene: 03/30/17 02:03:03PM
Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts

Let me add..im not talking about this forum.   This is actually my safe haven. Lol 

Renee
@renee
last year
137 posts

I'm going to add that empaths can be some of those things too. I know in some of my worst periods I dumb and drain energy from some of my support people. I also have had a few stages whereby life is an emotional roller coaster and train wreck and then it's not so much attention but validation of "am I making the right decision" because there's little trust in self.... so I will put my hand up and say empaths can do some of those things too. I'm guilty, but am trying to call myself out on it and begin to keep it in check quite a bit more than when I had no idea. 

Renee
@renee
last year
137 posts

**dump and drain** I mean 

Paul
@paul
last year
916 posts

When you say fake people. I think of synthetics, clones, hybrids, etc. I knew of a clone at the EC once and had it confirmed by someone else. One thing I've learned is that there are no perfect people, at least I don't know of any including myself. Empaths have a need to help and heal others. Just do your best and be done. I tend to avoid people unless I know them well. I don't do well in large crowds, theaters, etc without heavy shielding. Otherwise I get impatient and just want to leave right away.

Lotusfly
@lotusfly
last year
410 posts

I think "fake" people just haven't come into themselves yet. This takes a different amount of time for each person, depending on life circumstances. It's really not their fault. They're just trying to find their way like the rest of us.

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts

Renee:

I'm going to add that empaths can be some of those things too. I know in some of my worst periods I dumb and drain energy from some of my support people. I also have had a few stages whereby life is an emotional roller coaster and train wreck and then it's not so much attention but validation of "am I making the right decision" because there's little trust in self.... so I will put my hand up and say empaths can do some of those things too. I'm guilty, but am trying to call myself out on it and begin to keep it in check quite a bit more than when I had no idea. 

I have also.   Mostly on here.   If it hadn't been for the good advice I have received here, I would still be a train wreck.      

Renee
@renee
last year
137 posts

Yep it seems to be the way isn't it @rene I'm like it with the ones I turn to for advice when I am so down and out. I actually sent my sister a message after writing that response last night and just apologised for always turning to her for the same issues, offloading, dumping and draining, and that I need to trust my own intuition....so big thankyou to you for pointing it out as I probably wouldn't have apologised to her if it hadn't have been for this post!

if we were "professional" people it would be called "supervision", someone you can go to to lose it, break down, seek advice, bounce ideas, build some energy and confidence back up etc. on the flip side I'm "that person" to so many others. The one who hears the problems, gives my opinion, assists them to find the answers in themselves, and helps build them up. So I guess it's all a cycle too.... 

bunnigirl
@bunnigirl
last year
169 posts

Wow I can so relate!!!I have a person a co-worker of mine who sits next to me and complains about shit all the time and feel sorry for me crap yet she says she is the most spiritual person and god talks to her direct....she then talks behind my back talking shit if I am away from my desk for too long.  I have become a B myself...and prefer these days to stay away from practically everyone except for my 5 year old who I relate to since I am the mental age of 5....but yeah people like that are draining and she is on vacation this week and I am actually SOOOOOO relieved! I know I have to think the best of people but right now thanks to your post I needed to get it out cause I really relate to what you said! thank you for expressing your self!!!I am still a train wreck trying to see what is my feelings and what is theirs...it's totally unclear what I feel these days...

TigerLily
@tigerlily
last year
309 posts

You nailed!  I have turned into a major "B" as well.  That mixed with my strong personality, watch out.  I'm tired of the fake people too.  If you are so unhappy with yourself, then make changes the right way instead of something you'really not just so people can like you.  My work is full of fakes and drama queens, and not very many professionals.  It drives me mad, walking around work and feeling insecurities, stupidity, cattiness, and other things.  Now, I do like those days they all went out drinking the night before and they are all hungover.  It's a great stress relief for me lol.  

Renee
@renee
last year
137 posts

Rene'':


Renee:

I'm going to add that empaths can be some of those things too. I know in some of my worst periods I dumb and drain energy from some of my support people. I also have had a few stages whereby life is an emotional roller coaster and train wreck and then it's not so much attention but validation of "am I making the right decision" because there's little trust in self.... so I will put my hand up and say empaths can do some of those things too. I'm guilty, but am trying to call myself out on it and begin to keep it in check quite a bit more than when I had no idea. 


I have also.   Mostly on here.   If it hadn't been for the good advice I have received here, I would still be a train wreck.      

You confused me with your new pic!!! had to take a 2nd look as to who you were haha.... Completely off topic of this thread. However, maybe inline due to the whole "fake" theme here...... I'm considering changing my online name for a few reasons. If i keep the same pic so we know its me is that ok with all :-D the idea of a fake name is a little unnerving and to be honest i cannot even think of anything. I tend not to do "fake" to well, but just know i suffer from a little paranoia from time to time and am feeling the need to change my name or otherwise i may shut down....... 

Paul
@paul
last year
916 posts

Rene, I like your new pic. Happy

Nikki3
@nikler
last year
116 posts

Interesting topic because it is very mutli-faceted.  I would like to point out that I hear so many of you say that you've turned into ____ because of the people around you.  We should NEVER let the actions of another person change who we are at our core.  My mom always says things to me like "you get more flies with honey than with vinegar" and "the best revenge is to live a good life" and "live your life so no one will believe the lies others tell about you".

My authenticity is derived from who I am and, even though I have been at fault for the same thing, I always come back to who I am at my core.  I remind myself often of the person I want to be and then I start acting like her regardless of others.  "I" am solely responsible for my reputation and authenticity.

I think these people are not strong, they didn't have powerful models to shape their lives after, they lack confidence and self esteem.  I try not to judge because I have no idea what their lives have been like and what they must be going through.  I decide if I am going to give them words of encouragement or 'nod and smile' or tune them out.  I decide if the situation is something I don't want to deal with everyday and find somewhere else to be.  I decide. 

TigerLily
@tigerlily
last year
309 posts

Nikki, you are right and a bigger person for this.  

 I can't speak for others, but can speak for myself.  but one common theme I also see is setting boundaries and people over stepping boundaries.  we can set all the boundaries we want and certain people will keep over stepping.  my experiences is with those people are that they clearly can't find happiness and draining me of my mine, and they want you to do it for them  and then onto the next.  I can list a dozen people who do this too me at work and in my personal life.  do I have to remind everyone that  I too once had a very hard time in life at one point?  and who picked me up? Myself, everyone else ran.    Do I sympathize and show empathy for them at the same, absolutely.  but when I'm constantly being used or don't allow for it, either way I'm considered a bitch.  I see ked out therapy for years about this, and my own therapist couldn't believe how often this happened to me.   I'm at the point where I can genuinely feel who needs it and doesnt.  I know for myself, the strong personality helps me, and I was born with this. Some people can't handle it, but again then I'm not being genuine to myself if I can't be me and have to tone myself down.  So maybe I am allowing people who call me a bitch, to really think I am.  but I'm done being used to these kinds of people and would rather help those that genuinely need it.

TigerLily
@tigerlily
last year
309 posts

One more thing, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean or want to come across this way.  I've been in a whirlwind with these people the past 2 weeks, and they have no consideration but for themselves.  I'm trying to deal with 3 deaths in the family the past 2 weeks and then to have my mother hospitalized, I'm focusing on family.  And these narcs just don't care and are like "help me"  go help yourself as I'm grieving right now.  not one them gave condolensces.

Nikki3
@nikler
last year
116 posts

@tigerlily no apologies necessary, we all just put how we think and what we feel out here and hope someone can take something home from it and grow.  I am so so sorry for what you are going through, I can't image.

I guess it's definition and perspective.  I don't consider it being a 'b' to tell someone to back off when they've overstepped and they've been warned.  Enforcing boundaries doesn't always make you popular but it doesn't make you a b either... in my opinion.

What I was getting at is be yourself, be genuine... who cares what people think of you or what they call you.  You are the only person that has to be accountable for your actions.  Boundaries are important and sometimes we have to stick up for ourselves, sometimes we have to be selfish and if that makes us 'not nice' in someone else's eyes then so be it.  Don't bend because you don't want someone to think you are a b... they can think what they want... keep your authenticity.

That being said I hope you have a few people (or at least one) you can lean on during this time, I know how difficult it can be.  I will send comforting vibes your way and know you always have an outlet here.  love and hugs.

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts

Paul:

Rene, I like your new pic. Happy

That's my granddaughter.   She looks so serious lol 

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts

Renee:


Rene'':




Renee:

I'm going to add that empaths can be some of those things too. I know in some of my worst periods I dumb and drain energy from some of my support people. I also have had a few stages whereby life is an emotional roller coaster and train wreck and then it's not so much attention but validation of "am I making the right decision" because there's little trust in self.... so I will put my hand up and say empaths can do some of those things too. I'm guilty, but am trying to call myself out on it and begin to keep it in check quite a bit more than when I had no idea. 


I have also.   Mostly on here.   If it hadn't been for the good advice I have received here, I would still be a train wreck.      


You confused me with your new pic!!! had to take a 2nd look as to who you were haha.... Completely off topic of this thread. However, maybe inline due to the whole "fake" theme here...... I'm considering changing my online name for a few reasons. If i keep the same pic so we know its me is that ok with all :-D the idea of a fake name is a little unnerving and to be honest i cannot even think of anything. I tend not to do "fake" to well, but just know i suffer from a little paranoia from time to time and am feeling the need to change my name or otherwise i may shut down....... 

dont change it because of the spelling is similar .  Lol

Sometimes I will read what you post and think to myself "when did I post that " then I will look to see if it was you. Lol.    I have to say,  I don't mind sharing our name because you do not lead people astray.   It's ok if they confuse me with you because I always agree with your opinion.  Lol.   Wink

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts

That's my granddaughter in her Halloween custom.  I have to say , she fits it too well. Lol.  She's a mysterious little girl and the love of my life.    

Nikki3
@nikler
last year
116 posts

Rene'':


Renee:




Rene'':






Renee:

I'm going to add that empaths can be some of those things too. I know in some of my worst periods I dumb and drain energy from some of my support people. I also have had a few stages whereby life is an emotional roller coaster and train wreck and then it's not so much attention but validation of "am I making the right decision" because there's little trust in self.... so I will put my hand up and say empaths can do some of those things too. I'm guilty, but am trying to call myself out on it and begin to keep it in check quite a bit more than when I had no idea. 


I have also.   Mostly on here.   If it hadn't been for the good advice I have received here, I would still be a train wreck.      


You confused me with your new pic!!! had to take a 2nd look as to who you were haha.... Completely off topic of this thread. However, maybe inline due to the whole "fake" theme here...... I'm considering changing my online name for a few reasons. If i keep the same pic so we know its me is that ok with all :-D the idea of a fake name is a little unnerving and to be honest i cannot even think of anything. I tend not to do "fake" to well, but just know i suffer from a little paranoia from time to time and am feeling the need to change my name or otherwise i may shut down....... 


dont change it because of the spelling is similar .  Lol

Sometimes I will read what you post and think to myself "when did I post that " then I will look to see if it was you. Lol.    I have to say,  I don't mind sharing our name because you do not lead people astray.   It's ok if they confuse me with you because I always agree with your opinion.  Lol.   Wink

Too true!  I always feel like I'm taking to the same person then i realize I'm not, you two are very similar. 😊

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