sorry to hear about your troubles.
Yeah, in my experience emotions can be sticky things! My mind can often resolve a situation quickly, but getting the emotional body to follow suit often takes more time....
A few things:
- I have long ago decided that I do not want to suffer anymore - full-stop! Andy negative emotion I have I had over to the Divine for healing, or ground them off, into the Earth!
- What really helps me relationship wise is to have realized that I am individualized divine Spirit. As such I am whole. I do not need anyone, anything to 'complete' me. I am single, but happy that way, as no more desperation to need to find a soul mate to be 'complete'... If you do not feel your wholeness - you could use an affirmation/ prayer like - 'I Am whole! I am complete! I am beautiful! I am individualized Divine Spirit! And I thank the Divine for perfect healing help to fully feel this!
- What we are is eternal! Yes the illusion of ageing in these bodies can be very convincing, but if you e.g. close your eyes and concentrate on your Soul Star (2 finger width above your naval), you might feel your eternal nature better!
- Use decording exercises with your Ex. I.e. cut all energetic cords. His energies are likely still feeding off you suffering (for/ about him), so cut those connections. Several times if need be! You can also use a simple prayer, such as - 'I forgive myself, I forgive him - I let go in love and I thank the Divine for perfect (relationship) healings! Amen!'
- If you have not already read up about narcissists, sociopaths, brainwashing and mind control. Not all might be relevant, but finding out of the 'psychology' of such a bad relationship can help rationalize things.
- From what you describe - You are very strong to have survived all this. He sounds like a very confused man, perhaps you should rather count yourself 'lucky' that your paths diverted, than feel jilted?
I'm sure you'll get there
Love and Light!