What just happened to me?

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ren mcquiston
@ren-mcquiston
5 years ago
16 posts

Yesterday i had an experience that I'm not sure about....I could really use some input, advice or whatever.

Ok, here goes....

My wife and i have a friend who has just opened up a metaphysical store. We had discussed a possible job for me a few days a week so i went down to talk to him about it. I was feeling pretty drained, its been a long week and a lot of people have needed my energy. I'm not so good at replenishing myself, yet, or remembering to do so. As soon as I got there and started talking to him, I went from feeling drained to feeling a whole host of other emotions: anger, angst, frustration, despair and worthlessness. He started asking me what was wrong and told me that my aura was kind of iffy and flickery. We started discussing some things that are going on in my personal life and relationship with my wife and my the things i was feeling intensified, which came as a total surprise, because a lot of the things we were talking about are things that i have been successfully dealing with in myself.

Just for some background info, around the first of the year I experienced what I guess was nothing short of a total spiritual awakening, which has totally transformed me for the better, and i have been working really hard at solving that ultimate question, "Who art thou?" Its been difficult, but infinitely rewarding, and i really feel like I've made a lot of progress in getting reacquainted with my soul and dealing with some misconceptions and archaic mindsets, which were keeping me from really living.

Anyway, he kept questioning me about what was going on and all the while, he was furiously trying to get his computer to work, dealing with people who were coming in and bothering him, and also trying to deal with his boyfriend, who was being annoying. I stayed for about an hour and a half, trying to have this conversation with him, all the while feeling worse and worse. My visit culminated in watching/feeling a fight between him and his boyfriend. There was such violence in it, even though it was just a verbal conflict, that i could almost see the energy play between them. Needless to say, it was extremely uncomfortable and i left as soon as i could find a way to do so without being rude. When i got home, i was so depressed, and honestly wanted to die(not that I have any intention of harming myself, just the desire for it to end).

So my questions are thus: Were the awful things I was feeling more likely his and not mine? Do you think its possible that the experience was worse because he is a powerful witch and that much more in touch with the universe than average people? And finally, my impulse is to avoid him and to turn down the job offer, because i don't feel like i can work there now, that its not the right place for me to be while dealing with the intense self exploration I've been undertaking. Should I turn down the job? And is my desire to avoid spending too much time down there a result of intuition or is it just because my experience yesterday was so bad?


updated by @ren-mcquiston: 06/15/17 07:42:48AM
ren mcquiston
@ren-mcquiston
5 years ago
16 posts

Thank you all for your kind words and advice...I really appreciate it. :) It was a fairly shocking experience, as i was not expecting it and very confusing and muddling as well. The further away from the situation I get, the stronger the impulse is to avoid working there. Its like, the more I replenish myself, the less appealing it is. I can't stay away from the store entirely, he is a friend, after all and its the only store like it in the city i live in. And he's not a bad person, I am just not feeling the need to subject myself to sudden and violent emotional explosions??? for lack of a better word. The last job i had, I worked for a woman for six years, who was constantly having angry, violent, and random explosions, that sometimes she decided to inflict on me directly and sometimes not, but they always affected me negatively. It was an oppressive emotional hell hole, to say the least. I don't think it would be a good idea for me to subject myself to that sort of environment again, period, much less at this point in my life while I am going through a process that is so intense.

Thanks again for the advice. It was really helpful. :)

ren mcquiston
@ren-mcquiston
5 years ago
16 posts

you're right...i do need to make a habit of grounding and protecting myself...still working out what best works for me...but i know that its necessary, even on days that i start out feeling good...thanks :)

ren mcquiston
@ren-mcquiston
5 years ago
16 posts

thanks for the input...i've been aware and affected by other people's emotions since about eight years of age, but when i hit thirty, it was like a dial that had been set on 4 was suddenly turned up to 10 and its been very overwhelming at times...i just recently accepted that i am an empath...before, i just thought that i was crazy...

i'm learning to keep my guard up as well, but sometimes i forget just how overwhelming it can be and i am taken unawares by the extremity of other people's emotion...it reminds me of why i have been avoiding public places like malls and flea markets for years...i feel like i need to stop avoiding places like that, because they may serve as great practice for me in keeping myself grounded and protected, and i'm getting better at blocking stuff....

as an update to my original post, my friend with the store and i have talked a lot about what happened that day...he's also an empath and suggested that i build for myself an adobe igloo around my mind to keep other people's emotions out....i think its an interesting idea, but after several more interactions with him and his partner, i am convinced that he's blocking out too much....i think that adobe is far too deadening for me...i don't want to keep everything out, i just don't want to be overwhelmed by the constant influx of other people's emotions...i read somewhere that sometimes empaths put on weight as a defense (obviously not intentionally) or a buffer that slows down the absorption of outside emotions ...it was stated that it is mostly water weight, so i wondered if something visualized as being constructed from water wouldn't be a better material to use than adobe, which seems to me to block everything entirely...any thoughts?

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