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Talia
@talia
2 years ago
3 posts
Hi:-)I've "almost" joined & almost "posted" this so many times over the last year or more. Sorry for this book..I've finally got myself so far down in my own hell that I'm hoping someone else is been through something like this and found a way back out.It would take way too long to explain in just the last 3 1/2 years of my life/hell.. So I'll try to just hit the important parts. Most importantly, I've always been an empath.. Even from a little kid I knew I was different. I didn't know how or why, but I was probably a teenager when I started to get a good idea and then I did the normal thing tried to, got married had kids. When that fell apart for years I was too busy being a mom by myself two kids to really think about all of the stuff. Of course I still always knew that I had special talents and I used them to help people as much as possible.On top of being an empath, I also have pre-cog and a handful of others. I've always known I was supposed to help people and that's always been what I did somehow someway. And people of always told me that they could tell that I had something special or that they were drawn to me and they didn't know why or could tell me anything and they don't even realize they're saying it to me etc.Where I'm going with this is..five years ago I lost, I had taken from me everything. My ex-husband managed to find the most heinous way ever to get custody of my children and then disappear. I self-destructed, met a monster, married him three weeks..Nine months later his mom saved my life. That's where everything changed. I left the state that I was in before he got out of prison for obvious reasons.I was still so broken drinking way too much just numb everything was a blur. And then I met someone that I thought was Superman. And he kind of forced me/nudged me shoved me into starting to live again. And just when I thought that maybe maybe I was going to be OK, I realized that I had managed to find myself in an insane hell like most people don't even realize as possible. It's way too complicated and insane to try to explain. Needless to say, my second husband was behind all of it for 3 1/2 years he controlled my life he took my life actually. I was put into situations where I would find myself on the edge of survival:death and frantically trying to find someone, anyone to help me. The day that everything changed for me psychically or empathically, I had given up. I was in the most insane scary situation ever and I couldn't find anyone to help me. And I realized that that was the only thing that kept me going in life despite all the stuff that life throws at you is the fact that I knew I was a good person.. And I helped people no matter what. No matter if I couldn't afford it or didn't have time. And I never asked for anything in return ever. It was enough to me to see them smile or know that I had helped them or whatever. So when I found myself literally facing my ex-husband having found me and stolen my car and and and and I couldn't find a single soul to give a shit enough to help me.A man came out of nowhere and helped me. And I had a concussion at that point and all kind of stuff so I don't know if that contributed but I went through a huge dramatic shift in my abilities and everything. I found out that I could know inherit talents, and keep them.I started having visions, and I won't go into all of that stuff but I became smart enough and able to survive and slowly work towards escaping hell. In February, I finally got out of my ex-husband's hell. I left and came 1800 miles away. Nothing is in my name nobody knows where I'm at. Except for a couple that I trust. And I know I'm safe. And I know it's over. But ever since February, it's like it's even worse now that I know that it's over.Because I don't have a clue what to do. I've lost most of my abilities they're not lost just I shut myself down to be able to survive the last few months of it to get out. And I didn't realize it till a couple months ago that by shutting myself down I survived what I needed to, but with staying shut down I'm dying.I need to know how to I don't know if it's make my peace with the past, lower my walls, I don't know what I missing but I know that I'm missing something. And I need and I want my empath back I want my talents back I can't live without them. Not because I knew stuff or whatever, but because that's what made me a good person. With everything that happened it slowly, despite how much I fought..it made me different. I don't go out of my way to help anybody and everybody anymore. I don't sense things about people so that I can do little things for them to make them happy in all of it like I said I know it's not gone foreverIt's just like I lost something I lost my light. I didn't lose it I just can't remember how to open my eyes.If anyone knows what I'm talking about has any suggestions, please. I'm I don't I don't know how I don't know how to do anything at this moment. And I just want to try to figure out how to get me back so I can pick myself back up brush off the dust start living again. Helping people. Not just seeing the negative and the bad and the evil in the world, but blocking it out with my light again so I can hopeWell, sorry for that book. I really would appreciate anybody's help advice anything. Blessed be thank you
updated by @talia: 02/25/17 06:03:52PM
Michellem
@michellem
2 years ago
9 posts

Talia, first I want you to know that I know you're actually on the right path! I know it sucks but look at where you are at. You've escaped all the things that were literally ripping your life apart! That shows you are one hell of a strong amazing person. I commend you for whhat you've done!!!! I'd also like to point some things out. First of all your senses are not as blocked as you think, because if you really look at the situation you know that that your purpose is to help people. Most people would be so jaded by now that they wouldn't even care about helping other people. Also you knew how bad things were and that you had to get out of it. Alot of people stay in the same horrible situation because they've gotten to believe they're not worth any better than what they're experiencing. So your ability to know the truth about what you needed to do was thoroughly in tact. and. You were having visions! You knew undoubtedly what the future had in store for you if you didn't get out! We undermine ourselves constantly that's cuz our ego likes to make us second doubt ourselves. It is part of what I believe is blocking you. Now I can tell you a couple things that are affecting you right now. 1. You have post traumatic stress disorder 2. You're making the difficult transition from surviving to living. You are learning that you don't have to survive anymore. It's like getting clean and sober, you have to make a 180 degree turn in order to change so you are not stuck in the same hell were in because you left it and it needs to stay behind you. That is a massive transition it's a huge identity crisis, you are altering your entire existence by not surviving, but living life which is so foreign that it's almost unimaginable. But you have done huge things and taking massive steps to make that transition possible. I know all this because I had to go through it myself. It is so shocking to your system that you almost don't know how to function through it. But you are and you will make transition to living your life and not surviving it. I suggest you get a therapist because they can help you deal with your PTSD because that has a severe effect on how you perceive what is happening around you. Even though you left it behind it's still affecting you and you need someone who can teach you how to control certain triggers and help you heal the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual trauma from the things inflicted upon you. You're also in shock. It's almost like you are mourning a loss. You had to abandon the person you were and now become the person you were born to be. BUT YOU ARE DOING IT! YOU FEEL LOST BUT IF YOU DIDN'T I WOULD BE WORRIED. When it comes to your abilities you can get them to surface again. You have to have faith and I suggest you develop a spiritual practice if you don't have one now. Ask your angels to help you, learn to balance your chakras, spend time in nature, take care of yourself by nourishing your body with proper sleep, eating well, and doing something physical (I highly suggest yoga!) Get reiki treatments (there are alot of places that have student clinics that charge almost nothing if they charge at all for a reiki treatment), meditate....do anything that will lower your stress level and is connected to the spiritual aspects of life because they bring the divine person you are back to life. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Also start to try and live in the moment and be mindful because that will help you notice the signs that are happening around you. It's your angels and God (if that's how you refer to source energy) sending you messages and guidance. You are going to be perfectly fine and you're clairsenses an empathic abilities are alive and kicking but just suffocated right now. You are going to bring them to life but you do have a lot going on and all of that affects you on all levels. Having faith and your spirituality is what is going to awaken what you feel has fallen asleep. Please message me if you need help at any time no matter what it is regarding! I've lived what you are living, I am also in the process of reawakening abilities. And one last thing, it's vital as an empath to protect your energy field. There are visualisations you can do that will clear your aura of any negativity you've collected in it, but I highly suggest you pick up a couple of Crystals to carry with you and have around you at all times. Grab some amethyst, black tourmaline and seraphinite! They will provide protection from absorbing energies that are negative, provide safety and healing, and connect you with the spiritual realm and your angels and guides. They don't have to be expensive. Tumbled stones are usually a couple dollars at stores that carry crystals. If you need help finding a store message me and I'll find you one. I'll make sure you get the Crystals that will provide protection and healing. So don't worry about that. Just concentrate on yourself and know that by reaching out in this community is a huge step in the right direction in terms of adapting to your new life. And congratulations! It's like you've been reborn and you are going to create a beautiful life. :)

With love and light, Michelle

Bing
@bing
2 years ago
547 posts

Hi Talia

Below you will find some links that will help you learn more about what you have gone through and why.Just click on the blue words and you will go straight to the videos.LIghtworkers, Dark Night of the Soul, Has Anyone Told Youfrom my video collection at 1111 Angels, my YouTube channel. Your time of being alone is over.

Throw some love into the wind

Bing

Talia
@talia
2 years ago
3 posts

I don't know what to say..other than thank you. Im so glad that I listened to my gut this morning and posted here. Im so sorry you had to go thru your own hell..I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Idk what all kind of hell it was, or if it matters. You must be very strong as well..to make it to the other side. Most don't. I am so glad to have "met" you, and if you ever need anything..or just someone whos been there to vent to/cry/scream lol..Ill be there. The worst thing..THE WORST THING..is feeling or knowing youre all alone. So, if you ever feel that way...don't:-) Maybe we can help each other.

BTW..I learned a lot I my 4-5year sentence. If you ever need help, "special help"..let me know. If you do, youll know what I mean, or have.

Anyways...lord woman..do you need any crystals? lol. I started my own businessin June. I decided, randomly, to make/create/design jewelry. I don't have a clue what Im doing..but Im doingpretty good. I have some of everything. I have my piece of Seraphinite on its way..had black tourmaline for last 3 years..and more than I could ever name. If you ever have trouble finding a particular stone/crystal..let meknow. Im pretty resourceful:-)

Gotta go to the P.O..hoping it doesn'tclose, but I had to respond now, not later.

Thank you so much. Truly.

Stay safe always, T

Michellem
@michellem
2 years ago
9 posts

Dude! I forgot to suggest affirmations! They have a profound affect on your life and are an amazing wat to manifest what you want. Couple important things, always state them in the present tense. The wrong way "I will be safe and surrounded by divine protection". THE RIGHT WAY "I am safe there is divine protection surrounding me". State it out loud, repeatedly through out the day with conviction and belief and add some oomph behind, don't just mumble it, SAY IT LOUD AND PROUD AND AS IF YOU KNOW YOU ARE SAFE. Even if you doubt it will happen you still say it like it has and as if you believe in it. There is a book by Louise Hay called "you can heal your life" she shows you how to transform your life with affirmations. It's probably really cheap on amazon. Take a look at it and keep your head up! You're doing great

:) Michelle

Michellem
@michellem
2 years ago
9 posts

Awesome! Thank you for such a great response. I'm glad it resonates with you. So I study crystals and make crystal essences/elixirs and I love that I've met someone I can learn a thing or two from :) don't know if you've been on this site but I order most of my stones and crystals from it. If you haven't YOU MUST CHECK IT OUT. www.healingcrystals.com it's got the most beautiful energy...trust me I was shocked that I actually ordered crystals online, I never expected to to get some I hadn't felt and held. Know what I mean? :)

With love and light -Michelle

Bing
@bing
2 years ago
547 posts

Here is a link to a Louise Hay video that you should watch on positive thinking

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu_PrP3EdcE

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

The abilities didn't make you a good person! You are a good person without any abilities. In fact, the most important things like being kind to people and doing nice things for them can be done without any special abilities. When you feel like it, start trying to do those little things again and I think you will feel much better...but goodness you deserve to give yourself a break! You are included in the people who deserve kindness!! I believe that the angels, devas, whatever are there for people who are kind to others and for people when they really need them.

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