Welcome, Kate! If only we connected the dots sooner, right? I think it is an amazing accomplishment simply to acknowledge the truth, and another all over to defy habit and all training to the contrary to own that truth and begin to live it. No one sees that tiring struggle, so give yourself some credit. You are here and are well on your way.And yes, I also felt that relief upon my first introduction to this community! Reading others' questions and responses is helping me reframe events in my life with a totally different understanding. And maybe what we learn will help others figure things out sooner, better, without so much struggle. Best wishes on your journey.