Help! I keep getting caught in other peoples negative vibrations..

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chris
@chris
5 years ago
46 posts

This has happened three different times now, each getting stronger. A friend has a son, who has been addicted to drugs, and threatened suicide on several occasions. I had no knowledge he was having difficulties, yet I felt terribly depressed, and a little suicidal. The feelings passed after a day or so for me. I was shocked while speaking to her, I found he had attempted, but was hospitalized, in good condition. I began to wonder, if the feelings I had were related to him, though I have never met him. Around Christmas, I became depressed again, and this time had suicidal thoughts of my own. A friend helped me to understand these feelings were not really mine. The young man, again was hospitalized, though to his credit, he checked himself in.

This past Monday evening, I began to feel very confused, off-balance, and uneasy. All the next morning I listened to music, meditated, and followed some EFT exercises. By the afternoon, I was in a sorry state of mind. The ocean has always held great power for me, so I decided to drive down to the beach. I was hoping to find peace for my thoughts. I continued to spiral downward instead. Back home that evening, I began to question if I had anything to live for. To feel all this pain, anguish, even though I know its not mine. Needless to say, I was on edge all night. I went outside, in the dark, and hugged a tree, hoping to ground myself. It didn't work. I started to plan my own exit. A couple glasses of wine later, I fell asleep, exhausted. Wednesday morning brought slight relief. I hoped that the troubled soul I was feeling had gotten help. Yet a new feeling emerged, I felt so overwhelmed, so sad, and so drained. I was so shocked to learn, another friend had lost a family member, to what they believe was suicide. I did not know this man either, and had not spoken to my friend in over a year.

Why am I feeling these things? All of the things that used to help me handle things, don't work anymore. I am so afraid of next time. This time had me planning my own demise. I could not deal with the negative vibrations, even though I knew they were not mine. I just wanted it to stop, and I was starting to believe it never would. Please, help me, any suggestions?


updated by @chris: 02/25/17 11:17:18AM
chris
@chris
5 years ago
46 posts

Thanks, Nash. I did not have a sense of where these feelings were coming from. If it weren't for my non-empathic friend, I am not sure where I'd be. When these feelings come, they engulf me. It was difficult to understand that these where not my own. I questioned my sanity with the last one.

Each time something like this happens, I do gain knowledge from the experience. Your feeling is true, I do think I will be able to grasp what it is I need to push myself forward. I just need to be able to cope, to raise my vibration enough so that I am less overwhelmed, and more in control.

Your post does give me hope. I will cling to any words or thoughts that I know are sent with the best intentions. Thank you again.

RBroaddus
@rebecca-broaddus
5 years ago
5 posts

Hello, Chris;

My heart goes outtoyou. I, too, would be concerned in your situation. I have felt hopeless to the point where death seemed not only a viable option, but a very attractive one. When I recovered, I was very grateful that I did notsuccumb, but I am still haunted by how seductive that 'solution' seemed in the depths of my despair. SoI can identify with the feelings you wereexperiencing but, for me,it was clear that thosefeelingswere coming from within me rather thanwithout. I cannot imagine how confusing and frighteningit must be to be overwhelmed by them when the source is external, on top of the distressing nature of the feelings themselves.

Since I have never experienced such strong feelings from anyone with as distant a connection as you have described (I do pick up feelings from strangers, but I only seem to receive such strong ones from people with whom I have a personal connection or attachment), I cannot suggest any 'helpful tips I have learned'from similar experiences beyond the grounding and shielding techniques described in the Empath Survival Program. However, I do know from my own episodes of being depressed that 'a burden shared is a burden made light(er)'. It puzzles me as tohowor why it works, but I have indeed found that if I talk with and connect with someone I trust when I am deeply troubled, those seemingly-monumentaldifficulties somehow become less overwhelming. Do you have someone you trust that you could call on if this happens again? Someone to talk with or simply keep you company so that you are not facing these overwhelming feelings alone? At the very least, someone who will intervene if you contemplate acting on suicidal feelings?

These may simply be stop-gap measures to carry you through until you are able to find some more effective method(s) of managing your empathy, but it strikes me as essential to survive long enough to do so!

chris
@chris
5 years ago
46 posts

Thank you Thomas. I have learned so very much from everyone here. Every comment, suggestion is welcomed, and much appreciated. You are right I am resistant to shielding myself. It would seem to me, I would have to shield myself all the time. I don't know how to accomplish this. I have tried to imagine being in a warm glow of protective light, but it only works for a short time. When I get jammed up, I turn to my best friend. The first thing she asks is, " Is this your stuff?" Or she knows its not, and tells me to let it go. I would like to learn how to protect myself, at least from some of it. I do suffer for it. Any suggestions?

RBroaddus
@rebecca-broaddus
5 years ago
5 posts

I know I do not experience what you are going through to the extent you have described, so it's entirely possible what works for me won't be adequate for you. But it can't hurt!

For me, I think of my 'shield' as more like a force field: it's a flexible, semi-permeablebarrier that I consciously control. How strong it is (and thus how impermeable and/or large it is) depends on how much energy I put into it. I experience it as pushing back against all the stuff around me that is bombarding me (which is why it takes energy to maintain), creating a space around me that is 'mine' and only me. I do not shield all the time - only as I need it (otherwise I would very quickly be totally drained!)

Perhaps I should back up a bit and share my very first experience with shielding. I was having a rather upsetting discussion with a guy I was dating at the time. The conflict we were discussing had to do with some boundaries I was asserting that he was not happy with. He became pushy (in a manipulative way), and (this is where it gets hard to describe) he was pushing his feelings and issues with the situation onto me. It felt like he was trying to make his issues become my issues, become a part of me - I could literally feel him emotionally pushing himself into me (there was no touch involved - this was totally on an energetic, emotional level.) And something in me said "Enough!" I clearly recognized the feelings as unmistakably NOT mine, but his, and decided I was not going to allow it. And I (also on an energetic/emotional level) pushed the feelings back to him, mentally saying "No! Those are YOUR feelings, NOT mine, and I am NOT going to take them on." He continued to try to push them on me, and I kept pushing back. It took A LOT of energy to do that first time. But it was so freeing! For the first timeduring a highly emotional situation, my emotions weren't being clouded by someone else's; I KNEW - CLEARLY - what I was feeling! What I wanted, what I needed, what was important to me. So it was worth every drop of effort and energy I put into it.

After that, I began using the same technique in other situations that I'd always found difficult, like being in a crowd, or around negative people. Initially, it took a lot of energy to put up my 'force field'; partially, I think because I had no skill at doing it so it took a lot of preparation and attention/concentration/focus to put it up and maintain it, and partially because I hadn't learned how to control the 'strength' or size of the bubble so I tended to make it too 'solid' and too big. But just like learning any skill, I got better and it became easierwith practice. Now, I can put it up at a moments notice and it's only as strong as it needs to be - all without muchconsciousthought on my part (it's pretty much automatic now).

Something that I now realize probably had a lot to do with me 'discovering' how to shield at the time I did: I was doing a lot of things to help me grow - like therapy, participating in some support groups, reading a lot of self-help books - and I believe they had the added benefit of grounding me and getting a clearer sense of myself. All of which made it easier todistinguish what was 'me' from what was 'other'.

Sorry this is so long-winded!

chris
@chris
5 years ago
46 posts

Cindy,

Yes, I am interested learning how to shield myself using the CDs. This sounds like what I have been searching for.

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