This has happened three different times now, each getting stronger. A friend has a son, who has been addicted to drugs, and threatened suicide on several occasions. I had no knowledge he was having difficulties, yet I felt terribly depressed, and a little suicidal. The feelings passed after a day or so for me. I was shocked while speaking to her, I found he had attempted, but was hospitalized, in good condition. I began to wonder, if the feelings I had were related to him, though I have never met him. Around Christmas, I became depressed again, and this time had suicidal thoughts of my own. A friend helped me to understand these feelings were not really mine. The young man, again was hospitalized, though to his credit, he checked himself in.
This past Monday evening, I began to feel very confused, off-balance, and uneasy. All the next morning I listened to music, meditated, and followed some EFT exercises. By the afternoon, I was in a sorry state of mind. The ocean has always held great power for me, so I decided to drive down to the beach. I was hoping to find peace for my thoughts. I continued to spiral downward instead. Back home that evening, I began to question if I had anything to live for. To feel all this pain, anguish, even though I know its not mine. Needless to say, I was on edge all night. I went outside, in the dark, and hugged a tree, hoping to ground myself. It didn't work. I started to plan my own exit. A couple glasses of wine later, I fell asleep, exhausted. Wednesday morning brought slight relief. I hoped that the troubled soul I was feeling had gotten help. Yet a new feeling emerged, I felt so overwhelmed, so sad, and so drained. I was so shocked to learn, another friend had lost a family member, to what they believe was suicide. I did not know this man either, and had not spoken to my friend in over a year.
Why am I feeling these things? All of the things that used to help me handle things, don't work anymore. I am so afraid of next time. This time had me planning my own demise. I could not deal with the negative vibrations, even though I knew they were not mine. I just wanted it to stop, and I was starting to believe it never would. Please, help me, any suggestions?
updated by @chris: 02/25/17 11:17:18AM