Chakras, Reiki, Spiritual, Empath?

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ConfuciousFeels
@confuciousfeels
last year
35 posts

Hola all. Wanted to introduce myself & say how Happy I am to be here. Some background about me for those curious. ;)

I'm Natasha, 32 yrs old, long time empath, new to the word. As I've read with many, our stories are very similar and i can see the relation, it's practically relieving knowing there are others. But, I"m an analytcal type of woman, very exact, logical, etc.

I've always believed that these things were true, but was raised by law enforcement (my entire family where emotions are controlled, silent, & suppressed. Problem is - I have always knew I was different. And the black sheep I became. Without realizing, I changed it to "fall in line".

For 10 yrs, I felt nothing. I learned how to feel only 2 emotions - anger/anxiety. I was never mean, but always cold. I cared about many peopled, but it was never expressed. I becamse successful, reached goals, broke a heart or two, and suddenly hit a major downward spital.

And here I am. Because the last 2 years - my emotions (due to semitrauma) have suddenly been expose. As my therapist says, my boiling pot of emotions were suppressed for so long - they boiled over.

Medication, therpay sessions, lost career, acceptance of the life change, acceptance of my trauma, and now building a new being - the memories of going through this very thing from child through young adult (before the 10 yr. spree of ice) - I can't believe I forgot who I was.

Feelings, intruition, my success was derived on reading people and being a teacher of our trade. My motivational speaking trainings were national and my favorite part of the job was personally touching/helping staff with personal matters as well. I love helping people & now know that is what I'm meant to do.

I just want to tame it. Not allow it to control my life. Believe that crystals, reiki healing, mindfulness, and everything I am learning truly does make a difference. And if I could tap into my gifts better, understand them, I might be able to help more. :)

What do these words mean? lol Am I even special enough to be intruned with a gift like this or am I just crazy? Is this a psychological example of my nutty brain? lol

Funny to say, I just wish there was confirmation from others that know instead of my own thoughts creating the solution. I don't trust the brain manipulation :)

And that's my story .... Much appreciation for listening.


updated by @confuciousfeels: 04/06/17 11:06:52PM
Kaolin
@kaolin
last year
28 posts

Hi~

Thank you for sharing! I too am new to the group...(just joined today) and am very glad to have read your post.

I've experienced a journey some what similar, and am currently also having those same..."am I just crazy?" thoughts.(But really knowing deep down that I'm not)

I also identify with the desire to want to tame it and not have it control my thoughts.

So again, just wanted to say thanks...& I hear ya! <3

KQ

ConfuciousFeels
@confuciousfeels
last year
35 posts

It's funny, because when I hear of ego and fear based - I realize that I completely understand what you're saying and yet am unaware of how to stop it. I'm trying to do everything I can to be open and free because that's the right thing to do - but, the fact is - my ego takes over.

How do you stop something like that when you're not conscious of it?

ConfuciousFeels
@confuciousfeels
last year
35 posts

:) Welcome to the group! I'm sorry to see a newbie (like myself) going through the same things, but it's relieving as well.

I'd love to hear more about the "crazy" thoughts. In the meantime, my most appreciation for replying to mine. :)

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