Recently I discovered the word Bardo and I like it as a means to describe the "story" of what I have been experiencing. I am not "depressed" in the clinical sense. But I have night terrors several times a week (or visits from particular images/beings) depending on the construct one uses to explain things.
After a series of impactful life events close in time (loss of income, loss of job, reputation, loss of love partner, loss of child to adulthood, hysterectomy, and actual threatened loss of life and limb) it has been a strange struggle to tie back into my ego enough to figure out what I'll do next. I feel my own consciousness and awareness and I accept the present and find a certain joy in it, but have little initiative for the physical world required for home care, self care, financial goals, etc.
I've been a good egg (in the western sense) going to therapy, praying daily, resting, etc. but it just doesn't resonate as capturing the entirety of what's going on (several months.)
Then I happened upon the word Bardo in a book called Care of the Soul and now I am telling a new story that really fits. I am in the space between a death and a rebirth. This makes my current state so much easier to accept without judgment and also gives me hope that rebirth is just around the corner. Here are a couple websites for anyone exeriencing an in-between state. I'm sure others know more, but I share here, my current real time exploration of the concept.
"Bardo" means the intermediate gap or period of suspension where one situation has come to an end and another has not yet commenced
This Video is very specific and process oriented (I believe it as actual reading of the text). One observation is that I wish to experience this as "one person's esoteric experience of Bardo" Almost in the way that a story is told. In that way, it is useful for all, even those who do not ascribe to the myriad constructs of the teachings (example all the "instructions" about what to do and see.) I think if we listen to it as story, meditation, and human spiritual experience... we can feel its usefulness, it's truthfulness, without having to "obey" or follow. Does this make sense?
If you can get passed the first few seconds which struck me as eery.... ( I hung in there) this, I found, to be very enlightening
I prefer to just listen and not watch the video....
----With much love and humility.
updated by @jenstone: 02/19/17 04:48:16AM