Male friends falling for me

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TigerLily
@tigerlily
last year
309 posts
Ash posted this recently and I'm struggling myself and looking for advice. I have 2 male friends, whom are not friends with each other and don't know each other. Friend A always has something negative to say about a new prospect in my life. The new prospect in my life I really like. Seems like the ones I really like, the more my friend gets angry and says not nice things. Friend B, he always says it's going to blow over soon. He's actually nicer about these things but will always again say something negative but make it sound positive. Does that make sense?
Both I can sense have an attraction towards me, and both know I'm not interested in them that way. I also found out that recently both have a liking towards me so my gut feeling was correct. This isn't the first time I've had this with male friends and probably not the last. I feel like cutting both out of my life. To me I feel if they are friends they should be happy for me, and not say negative things about the guy and I also learned to not tell them anything anymore. I cannot have another failed relationship because a new guy goes running for how my friends are.
updated by @tigerlily: 02/24/17 06:57:23AM
Lotusfly
@lotusfly
last year
410 posts

Sorry you're in this predicament, Tigerlily. Honestly, it's not good to keep people close to you who sabotage you. Sometimes we must evaluate our life and decide what to keep and what to recycle. I really wish you the best with your decision and choices. I am sure you will (and do) make the ones that are right for you :)

Blessings~

Ash2016
@ash2016
last year
34 posts

@tigerlily Sorry to say, but based on my experiences you will most likely have to cut them both out of your life eventually. Saying something negative while making it sound positive totally makes sense to me. I knew a guy who used to do that all the time.. I think he tried to be a friend and be supportive but in the end his feelings for me would get in the way of that. It always made me feel like he was only trying to be a friend to get close to me in hopes that one day it would be more. I didn't cut him out of my life, but I did like you and stopped talking to him about new guys that would come into my life. So the friendship eventually died a natural death because of it. 

Visitor
@visitor
last year
303 posts

Sad to say, you may have to ease them both out of your life. Unfortunately, empathic people tend to be irresistibly attractive. (I knew one lady who was fighting men off right and left, and I didn't envy her.) I don't know what advice to give other than that!

TigerLily
@tigerlily
last year
309 posts

I feel like I've cut so many people out of my life the past few years who have sabotaged me.  Ugh and it's happening again?  How do I break this,

Nikki3
@nikler
last year
116 posts

1. People don't see things the way we do, don't confide in anyone about your feelings or people you are interested in unless you really trust they have your back. 

2. Not everyone deserves you. Give of yourself only to those who would do the same for you,  except on the rare occasions your intuition requires you to do a good deed. 

We must learn to say no, we must learn to be a little selfish, we must ask ourselves if where we place our energy is right, if not don't do it. 


updated by @nikler: 10/17/16 10:05:17PM
Renee
@renee
last year
137 posts

Ash2016:

@tigerlily Sorry to say, but based on my experiences you will most likely have to cut them both out of your life eventually. Saying something negative while making it sound positive totally makes sense to me. I knew a guy who used to do that all the time.. I think he tried to be a friend and be supportive but in the end his feelings for me would get in the way of that. It always made me feel like he was only trying to be a friend to get close to me in hopes that one day it would be more. I didn't cut him out of my life, but I did like you and stopped talking to him about new guys that would come into my life. So the friendship eventually died a natural death because of it. 

isn't this what is generally referred to as gas lighting?Loaded statements? saying something that is negative in a positive way in the hope of not being faulted or called out on it? Dangerous stuff that one, can do a lot of damage and have the receiver questioning themselves so very much! 

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