are you always alone? i dont mean you ''feel '' alone or lonley...but you are very much all alone. With me, ive noticed it from a very very young age..my earliest memories of feeling alone was from around the age of 5. Even tho i grew up in a big north american city, in a family of both parents and 3 older brothers, of going to full public schools, etc....of always trying to fit in, to please others, to make myself available , to do and say the right things...it ended up in rejection. There are private things i could say here, but im embarrassed and ashamed. The amount of rejection i have recieved in my life would be enough to make many many throw themselves off a bridge. And it was not because i was overly sensitive or uncaring i didnt form close bonds...the opposite, it was me who was always trying , giving opportunities, doing kind things, being good to others and not wanting anything back...except friendship, or love...or just to be liked. But nobody wanted me...they all , one by one, just left me. There is nothing repulsive about me ...i am not fat or ugly (as a kid i was very cute, got some compliments as a young teen/adult), i am not tall, only 5''7 and i know its not really anything to do with height anyways....i always dress clean, i dont have body odour or anything physical to repulse. For the most part, i was a nice kid, a nice guy who had a sense of humor, who would help anybody, anytime...and not ask of anything . I was enthusiastic, i was cheerful and upbeat ...despite the negative stuff that was done and said to me from just about day one on earth. And there was a lot of negativity, a lot of decietful bad stuff said and done to me. I overlooked it, i stepped over and around it...but it just kept coming, from many angles, from many people. Most of it stopped, but it never really stops permanently, it picks up . And here i am...alone, with no one. What was the purpose of me being born if all i do is to go thru life always alone? just existing to eat, sleep , work is not life.
updated by @tonyvancity: 02/03/17 10:28:16AM