Empaths and Their Concept of Work

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Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

Does anyone else struggle with the concept of work in the traditional employment sense?

I do not mind putting forth effort, getting up early, producing positive results within given paradigms, but the idea that people give away most of their daily lives to a single location or single objective---others telling them how to be and how to act and where to be and where to act just seems so CRAZY to me.... and I am having trouble accepting this.

I am 45 so it seems a little odd that I've arrived at this now, but I am supposed to be job hunting and what I really feel compelled to do is write fiction. In my former position I was in a management position, supervised staff, oversaw budgets. I'm a lawyer. I can't be one anymore! I can't contain or process the energies that come from the people in my cases, so I just want to make coffee for peope or sandwiches, something light and helpful, but how do people live on these wages, and were we meant for this? Ughghg. 


updated by @jenstone: 02/26/17 08:55:03PM
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
last year
726 posts

I can sooo relate to this! I had been a public accountant for 25 years and this past tax season I just couldn't do it anymore. The influx of negative energy from clients, coworkers, etc was too much. Yes, I made a nice living but there has to be more to life than being a puppet on the string of society. So I quit. Now trying to decide what would pay the bills and agree with my soul. Luckily I am helping my husband with the farm so I'm able to pay my bills with that but what I am drawn to do doesn't seem to be a paid position in my area, so now I am just volunteering. 

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

Thanks for sharing. I feel sometimes like I'm just a priveleged prima donna insisting that I feel pleasant feelings while working.... but then there is this nagging "TRUTH" that I need to be using my gifts in a powerful way. So I am actually writing a book with a collaborator (we work daily and have for 5 months) but in the meantime, yes it feels so foreign that people give their lives away for a paycheck... it's different than just not wanting to work. The work is disconnected .... like people on both sides of a transaction are looking at a computer screen, some third party is always involved in everything.... even the job search process itself is impersonal and sectioned off from humanness... I answer questions with drop down answers, and the employer searches by dropdown answers, and when I say I have a doctorate level education and that I was terminated in my prior position, then I don't make any of the search lists. No chance to explain that I am good at so many things, that I am an amazing leader and team motivator, no chance to explain that my prior employer did something illegal and terrible concerning one of my clients and then terminated me when I wouldn't participate in a cover-up, that I chose not to sue etc etc. There is no place for Empaths in this world. That's what it feels like right now. 

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

Thanks for your encouragement Chuck. What a blessing to be a pastor! I don't see your comment anywhere in the forum but it came to me by email, so I'm just posting a response to it here. 

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
last year
726 posts

Yes, I feel that way quite often..but there is an important place in this world for us. Everything has become so automated in the job search process that I think we as a society are paying a price...overlooking great qualified people....if you could meet them face to face. It's great that you are perusing your writing...it's good for the soul to do what we are drawn to do. I would like to see more of my calling recognized as an actual profession in the future....there is not many job openings for a death doula...I sit with the dying and their family. Most hospices reserve this service for volunteers....but it pays well spiritually for me anyway.

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

Death Doula, interesting work, and I bet very spritually rewarding. I once thought of a job title, Individual Documentarian. Family would hire me to do a short documentary on their loved one's life at or close to death (before or after). What a gift to the loved one's to see the life's story, purpose, preferences, joys, sadnesses in a story form that is entertaining to watch. 

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

QUESTION FOR FELLOW EMPATHS:           What do you do to make money for food and shelter and such? And are you satisfied doing this, why or why not? If you could do anything, anything at all, in what would you do "for a living." 

I'LL START:      I'm trained as a journalist and a lawyer and I really hate both because they force me to be analytical and fact-based about peoples' very spritual, emotional lives. They are professions focused on circumstances and observations and not on healing the humans within the circumstances. I wish to be a prolific fiction writer, sharing intuitive stories of healing and learning. 

 

Lotusfly
@lotusfly
last year
410 posts

Thank you so much for posting this, Jen. I'm currently an author (and disabled), though my books don't bring in much income, and sitting behind a computer screen for long gets tedious. Though I DETEST traditional employment. I can't imagine working for someone else again. But I want to do something that pays better and is more community involved than just authoring books. I would love to be an intuitive life and health coach or a psychic counselor or tarot card reader, but I feel I would need my own business space to meet with clients in person (and/or a specialized degree or certification), which I can't afford right now.

What I really dislike is how much life is based on money, rather than what makes us happy. Lately, I've been doing reading/research and meditation for self-improvement, healing, and guidance. I'm submerging myself in what interests me the most and having faith that an idea or opportunity will come my way.

Best of luck on your job search!

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
last year
726 posts

Jenstone:

Death Doula, interesting work, and I bet very spritually rewarding. I once thought of a job title, Individual Documentarian. Family would hire me to do a short documentary on their loved one's life at or close to death (before or after). What a gift to the loved one's to see the life's story, purpose, preferences, joys, sadnesses in a story form that is entertaining to watch. 

One of the things I do is encourage family members and the one ready to pass to "go down memory lane" and tell stories of the best times in their life. It takes everyone's mind off the task at hand and brings a sense of wholeness to the one crossing over. I have found even if the dying is non responsive, this seems to bring calmness to the situation.

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
last year
726 posts

Jenstone...I want to commend you for standing up for what is right....even at the expense of your employment. It seems like there are too many in this world that compromise their integrity just to make a buck. Well done 😉

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

Cat Whisperer:

Jenstone...I want to commend you for standing up for what is right....even at the expense of your employment. It seems like there are too many in this world that compromise their integrity just to make a buck. Well done 😉

Awhwhwhw thank you! And ditto to you as well. Thanks for doing the important work you do.

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts

I have often wondered how a Empath could be a lawyer (I was thinking mostly defense lawyer in murder or childern cases).    

I worked 20 years in Quality Assuance and Control and I usually ended up fighting the system I was suppose to be defending.  Lol

the money thing ....it's what you get use to.  The more you make, the more it takes.    i quit my job to raise my granddaughter and now we survive on my husbands salary which isn't as much as I was making   and it was hard the first year.   Now I wonder "where in the world did I spend all that extra money". Lol.    

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

Rene':

I have often wondered how a Empath could be a lawyer (I was thinking mostly defense lawyer in murder or childern cases).    

I worked 20 years in Quality Assuance and Control and I usually ended up fighting the system I was suppose to be defending.  Lol

the money thing ....it's what you get use to.  The more you make, the more it takes.    i quit my job to raise my granddaughter and now we survive on my husbands salary which isn't as much as I was making   and it was hard the first year.   Now I wonder "where in the world did I spend all that extra money". Lol.    

Funny place for an Empath! Quality Assurance and Control... such a rigid emperical way to spend your day. Glad your gifts are being used to raise a grand-daughter. Not that quality assurance is not important, just that there are so many others who could fill that role. Now you fulfill yours! :) 

water_lily
@water-lily
last year
90 posts

I'm a bit late hopping onto this thread, but I find that feeling like you are part of a higher purpose is a good way to feel better about your work. I don't mean burying your head in the sand and pretending that the negative stuff isn't happening, but rather finding a unique niche for you to use your gifts to make whatever it is you do better, better for whomever you work for and better for the world. 

Lauren3
@lauren3
last year
14 posts

Yes I 100% agree. I'm almost 18 and dropped out of college that I was doing really well in to become a vet, but it was so stressful to me and the outcome would of probably been amazing but it wouldn't of made me happy and I hated the idea of being told how to have my future. Now I'm working as a waitress and I'm really happy. Aslong as I'm earning a fair amount of money and I'm not stressing I'm fine 

Lotusfly
@lotusfly
last year
410 posts

Lauren3:

Yes I 100% agree. I'm almost 18 and dropped out of college that I was doing really well in to become a vet, but it was so stressful to me and the outcome would of probably been amazing but it wouldn't of made me happy and I hated the idea of being told how to have my future. Now I'm working as a waitress and I'm really happy. Aslong as I'm earning a fair amount of money and I'm not stressing I'm fine 

Hi Lauren,

I changed my college major twice and have had a wide array of careers. One of my majors was Vet Tech, which would have actually been a hard career for an animal lover and needle hater. 

I'm so glad you're happy with your current job. A low stress job that is pleasant and enough to pay the bills seems like the best kind of job :) If you have time for hobbies and R&R too, even better!

Blessings~

Lotusfly
@lotusfly
last year
410 posts

dproper:

Hello to all...

I do not post often, but I can give you all some insight as to why it is hard for us as Empaths to survive in the social cultures we are born into...

The Yang Yin of both the Spiritual and Physical realms are out of balance.  We all feel this.

All social cultures, follow a capitalistic system. Capitalism is a SOCIOPATHIC system. 

Humans are born Empaths and with free will. When indoctrinated by a sociopathic system, the majority of Empaths lose access to their Empath talents. In order for blocked human Empaths to regain their talents, they have to be retrained. That can only happen if the person is open to being an Empath. These are trained Empaths.

Natural Empaths cannot be indoctrinated into a sociopathic system... Trauma awakens us to our self awareness and our talents. Many Empaths are still driving blind to their Empath natures and are being further deadened to their Empath natures through drugs, alcohol and risky behavior patterns and addictions.

This is all natural Empaths struggle... That is why you all struggle with trying to survive in this human sociopathic world.  

In order to survive and prosper in this sociopathic world, you have to develop the behaviors of a sociopath...

May the Creators peace find you...

Dproper,

I agree that the "system" is corrupt and just badly organized. It makes us feel that we need more than we do, making us work harder and stress more, which leads to early death and an unhappy life. It needs to change :)

Blessings~

KM
@km
last year
90 posts

In the interest of time I had only skimmed the responses and responding mainly to the original post.  There is no disrespect in this, but I do have a terrible upper respiratory illness.  Yet, I felt a certain connection with the OP (original poster) and wanted to reach out.

I formerly worked in the legal field, during the years when that meant REAL job security.  Unfortunately, at that time most legal offices had a tremendous amount of cigarette and cigar smoke to contend with.  As my health went down hill, I was forced to make a change.  The very first opportunity that presented itself, seemed miraculous.  I took it.  It only lasted a year but I was totally in my element. Unfortunately, the legal work has tainted me for life.  When in my new job I saw a potential for personal injury, I could not (like the general public would) shove my concerns under the rug.  When the issues could not be worked out to my satisfaction, I resigned.  Initially I had returned to a non-smoking legal office, but that was a terribly unsupportive environment otherwise.  So I was again looking for change.  Found another situation that was also in my element.  Spare you the long story here, ...as supportive as the environment was, I was unable to return to work due to the disability of my first child after birth.  Odd jobs and voluntarism kept me mentally intact although I felt a tremendous guilt being supported by my husband at the time.  I have made various attempts to re-apply in legal related work, but it appeared that that was not meant to be.  I was seeking, what you are looking for now, is at least some stability of income.  For years my husband and I had to take on full responsibility of the affairs of the child while the other of us had the opportunity to leave the home for work.  Since my husband was the main earner though, my opportunities had to take a back seat.

Although it seems this is the never ending story, there is a point I am trying to make.  I got to a point that I was attempting to stack odd jobs in hopes that they would together bring in something/anything.  As circumstances would have it, one of the jobs was eliminated when the owner sold her business and the other job with very minimal hours started to raise in me some ethical issues.  I literally threw my hands up one night, straight to the sky.  I said "that is it".  I give up.  The very important part of this story is that by then I had years of depression to speak of. Although I continued to be the little go-getter dinamo / the energizer bunny that would not give up, the mounting situation (unknowingly) took its toll.  I guess you can be depressed even if you are so busily trying that you are not aware of it. I went to bed that night feeling the lowest low in my life.  Could not see anything that could possibly be done after this. My mind was totally exhausted and blank. However, what happened next would change my current life forever.

During the years of trying to make things work as a stay-at-home parent, I had slowly been introduced to certain concepts, books, meditation. The night of the lowest low, when I went to sleep, I had a dream.  I visited a place of healing, total calm and tremendous love.  The last thing I remember is a hand on my shoulder as someone sent me on my merry way back with the telepathic message that I was doing a great job.  Woke up the next morning, kid you not, a different person.  The sun was shining and I had a knowing that all would be well.  Getting out of bed I was energized and most grateful for the bright sun.

What followed is an enlightenment experience.  I started to have past life recall and was able to see others' past lives as well.  I saw the connections we ALL had in previous lives, regardless of how insignificant our current relations may now seem.

Well, that was a process to go through, an intensely emotional experience, that is strange for some of us legal people, who are so analytical and rational.  Coming out on the other end, so to speak, I started having more psychic experiences.  I would know when guiding messages were trying to direct me, and I started trusting the process more and more.  Believe me, being a legal person, there was plenty of questioning that I put forth to my husband to ensure that I was still with the program.  Everything pointed to the fact that I was well, in fact better than ever. Years of depression just overnight disappeared.  I returned from that visit to this strange place (I experienced in the dream) a totally different person.

Four years later, following guidance given to me during meditation I landed a job that seemed to be lined up for me specifically. The work is physically and mentally more challenging than any job I had ever done before, but I am soooo grateful for it.  The environment may at times not even seem supportive to me personally, but I keep going back.  I am there for a different reason.  I consider it my service work. My talents are being utilized, and I am happy for it.  Unfortunately, I still have to remain creative to stay afloat with our finances. However, I have to believe that the "intelligent design" that I witnessed putting this all into place, must have a plan for my survival to continue the work. 

My suggestion to you is to stop trying to work the problem out with your EGO mind.  Give your more intelligent higher self the opportunity to drive.  That more intelligent part of you WILL NOT interfere or even give guidance, unless you invite it do do so.  For that, you need to STOP thinking.  Easier said than done.  Some find it more easy to do this if they are actually moving physically, like doing karate or tai chi. Others may do gardening or any activity (even dancing) that they can do mindlessly to clear the chatter that is keeping some real meaningful thoughts from reaching you. 

Other empaths can and will reach out to give you suggestions as to possible things to try to make it financially.  However, the intelligent YOU, your higher self will know what you really like to do, what are the things that make you real happy.  It will help you find what you are looking for, but it must be invited to do so.  The law of no interference.

Wish you the peace I have found in this journey.  Happiness Always!

:)

   

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

Thanks Empath Community, for your recent comments (waterlily, lotusfly) and especially KM thank you for sharing your interesting experience of "crossing over" to a different paradigm about work and money. Whirling energy surrounds me right now, takes my words away.... 

Whew, but here they come now. 

One reason I came to the Empath community is because I kept drawing narcissists and sociopaths into my life. I am learning about "gaslighting" --the technique of Soc/Narc to shift communication away from the dispute at hand and onto flaws of another party's basic ability to perceive things or make judgments.

The one thing that my legal training has taught me is how to recognize flawed logic. Gaslighting is flawed logic.

I wonder if Empaths are more often the target of gaslighting--- they perceive something--- and then they reach so far to 1) fully "get" other people and 2) consider the accuracy and nature of their own perception (maybe perceiving energies, auras, glimpses of the future, pain from other people, knowing things without being able to give them words.) During this period of "receiving" new information, Empaths can be caught of guard by soc/nar who are so quick to sound confident and logical--- the experience of an Empath is: hmmm this is confusing and the Narc/Soc takes it a step further by saying that if an Empath feels confused, then they are confused and confused means that perceptions are flawed---- no! The world is confusing!!! Thank God that some people stay present in this reality! 

I wonder if I became an attorney to gain a capacity to sort out things that I would not have understood or perceived otherwise, to understand arguments and the "way things work" in our society?  

Having force-fed myself a way of thinking, (legal education) I learned that the law can be used as a tool for good and evil, but it is no different than, no more inherently good or evil than--- MONEY. 

The law is POWER. It feels dangerous to wield this power. It feels overwhelming to wield this power. On the other hand it feels dangerous and overwhelming to allow others without conscience to wield this power. Occasionally it feels just or victorious to practice law, but usually when I have gotten a good result, still playing the game that is bizarre and makes me nauseous. 

I HAVE THE MARK OF THE BEAST NOW--- When I put down those letters J.D. (juris doctorate) on electronic applications under education, no self-preserving coffee shop, store, clinic, art organization even responds to my applications for non-lawyer positions--- they think I can't be serious, I can't be wanting to leave THE LAW--- something must be wrong with my people skills, my character, my performance, my finances, something.... I don't know, but I've never had trouble getting a job in the 15 or so years I worked prior to becoming an attorney. Some people suggest not putting down the education, but my name is all over the cyber-universe as an attorney and this wouldn't bode well for my signing the statement that everything I provide on my application is true. 

So I feel this heavy reality marching at me through Oct/Nov ---- the reality that I will continue to practice as a lawyer. HELP ME GOD! to tolerate this cognitive dissonance, this sprititual dissonance --- this weight of the world's dysfunction! What do I do with the perception that the system can't be better until most of it is cut out like cancer and thrown out and we start a new way of thinking about practical justice, mercy, and self-government. And I don't mean taking a political position, I mean the definition of a "child" is several hundred words long in immigration law---- how are ordinary people supposed to do the right thing? Family law provides a model, whereby husbands and wives have to bring a lawsuit against one another to dissolve a marriage, businesses can spend millions to create documents that cover all their risk and then the documents don't hold up when tested by others who have the power of money... and then the documents do hold up against those who have been wronged and don't have access to lawyers--- 

If I help the underdog, I starve my family. It's just gross, the whole thing is gross. 

AND SO---I am exploring an alternative legal practice, where I tell people what their legal rememedies might be and then I walk alongside the person to explore other avenue for solving a problem. A man came the other day and asked how he could get his neighbor to clear out 10 garbage bags full of stinky garbage that she stacked between their houses. He has his house for sale, and probably could bring a nuisance suit against her. He would need to file paperwork and pay fees and take his time and he might win but then he would have to enforce it and there are no lawsuit enforcement police. Abd then he would be even more angry at his neighbor and she at him. I told him how much it would cost in time and money to do all of this, and then I sat with him and we breathed for a awhile, what do you want?

I want to have the house look nice so it will sell. I want the neighborhood to present well, and I don't want to spend all my time and money to do it.

I then paused and really absorbed his desires and needs---- I suggested his best chance of obtaining his result was to load up that garbage in his own truck and take it to the dump himself.... then purchase flowers for the neighbor every day for a week and say thank you for being my neighbor. He could purchase two large bins for the garbage to contain the stink.

Think about how this might turn out?  

There is certainly a place for rights-based thinking but rights-based thinking doesn't mend fences and bring about peace. It certainly doesn't change people who don't value throwing the wishes of their neighbors into people who give a crap. Rights-based problem-solving can create strife on top of strige--build walls and escalate war--- At this hour in history, can the soul evolve to a higher plane?

Can I as a lawyer speak with authority about the rights-based system, and be a believable advocate for alternatives that hurt and are hard to carry out, but WORK better than what we've tried till now? I've got a few colleagues who are gaslighting me, telling me I've gone coocoo with all this Empath, voodoo, stuff. For my own part, I feel like a lazy bum, questioning myself. Am I looking for a way around working hard? I just want peace. And I want it for others.... I look at the leaves, and the grass, and the people walking down the street and I feel so much gratitude and joy for creation, for breathing, for food and health and friends... I want to live in this place of peace and joy.... and still the clock ticks and the world gaslights me and says that Money will chase me down and win this battle between doing what I perceive to be curative and paying for my heat and mortgage... 

"You'll learn Missy.... even if its the hard way.... that work means doing something you don't want to do for someone who will pay you to do it.... ughgh" 

Am I gaslighting myself? Probably... Breath. Breath. Breath..... ohmmm that's all there is to do as this washes over me, through me. May I be mindful in all of it. 

[I would love to hear more stories of work, earning money, and how Empath's approach it. ]

4peace
@4peace
last year
187 posts

Jenstone, I feel like I'm in a magical place right now with work :) - just hang in there and believe that something good will come your way :)

 I started out with going to Grad school in Geography because I wanted to work in conservation and save the planet.  So I took Remote Sensing and Geographic Information Systems and because of that, wasn't able to get a job doing anything but Transportation Planning - so I paved the world instead of saving it.  Plus, I got to experience politics at it's finest.  These jobs shoved me into therapy and anti-depressants!!!

I started taking Psychology classes and ended up with all but a thesis in Psychology - which got me into adjuncting at the community college level - the poorest pay you can get with a Master's Degree!  I've been teaching psychology for 13 years now.  I decided to supplement my pay with a certificate in teaching English as a foreign language.  A few months ago, I found a job which pays really decently online teaching English to Chinese kids and the company seems to care about us teachers!!!  So this January I get to stop the adjuncting and do the online teaching only!!!  I get to be goofy with kids - what could be better than that!!!  It took me until 49 1/2 to get into a job I love AND feel appreciated :)

I also have some kids books that I have written and sell through Kindle - I've made almost $3 on them -lol!!  That's a gallon of milk :) LOL!  But I'm still happy about it!

I'm happiest not stuck behind a desk, blindly following the orders of someone who just wants more power and money (the politicians I mentioned/most of my supervisors had their eyes on higher positions).  Money isn't everything, and sometimes not having all the vacations I want gets me down a bit - but I'm pretty doggone happy most of the time.  You will be too, just go with your instincts and hang in there :)

Love and light,

Rhonda

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

Thanks so much for sharing your story and for encouraging me to hang in.... I just got off the phone with a therapist I know and I've organized that he will do some post-trauma recovery for the 30 or staff at my prior employer who finally rose up and signed a petition (Friday)  to terminate this boss who fired me and at least 9 others in projecting his lack of competence--- The staff is a bunch of really cool people who didn't have good leadership, now they have no leadership, which as we know can sometimes foster civil war in the vaccuum--- anyway, I already see this glimmer of light re: just doing what we do in the world, connecting, healing, leading, praying, giving what we can, a day at a time. The money will come when it needs to. always has... thanks again. 

KM
@km
last year
90 posts

The reality is that unless you have someone else to fall back on temporarily, you may have to take a job you may not like.  However, how you conduct yourself in any job, regardless of its status of importance matters.  Taking a stand can be a difficult thing.  I guarantee it, you won't be popular.  It does not seem fair that one should have to leave a position and risk their own security because the company they work for is doing unethical things. (been there) However, these are choices we make daily. 

Since hind sight is 20/20, I can tell you that the things that did not work out in my life so far, were things that were not meant to be. (like the years I tried to fight my way back to the law office but was not taken seriously)... People used to say to me way back that things work out for the best.  Now I tell you this with a lot more conviction.  After past life recall, I understood why I had to be involved in a legal job in the first place, and also why I had to leave it for good.

From the things you posted, I can see that you are not far behind me in this enlightenment process.  Drawing more and more narcissist toward you is a test. When you are applying for positions and people don't take you seriously, as if you had a character flaw for being unemployed is a test.  It is a test of your EGO. 

What I am seeing here is that you are going in the right direction.  You may still be torn by which way to step.  People close to you may judge your decisions because they have bought into this illusion that we are all separate, that we must keep our status, our high paying jobs etc. 

While you are working on your spirituality and progressing with your private path, you could look into online opportunities to do contract work.  Look for organizations that help stay at home moms find jobs (even if you are not one).  You will just have to shake out the reputable organizations from the nonsensical ones.  I heard several people did well finding independent contractor work this way.  Technical writing may be a good option.  There is also a lot of legal knowledge needed in the healthcare industry.

At one point when there wasn't a job for me, I created one.  I applied to an add that said: "do you want to lose weight and help people at the same time".  Well, weight has never been my problem.  A lifetime athlete, one of the things I (also) am is a personal trainer.  However, I did feel genuinely drawn to wanting to help people with weight issues.  I did get the job.  Yes I was paid technician wages instead of a trainer salary.  It appeared even when the job ended that I may never personally benefit from any of the effort put forth on that job.  It ended up being meaningful down the road for me to get the job I am in now.  What I was being paid did not matter.  How I conducted myself while there made all the difference.  It turned out to be a good reference for me.  I also feel that my knowledge in psychology, and health & fitness helped the clients I came in contact with.  So in a sense I was paying it forward.  ...and down the road, I did see the benefit.  There were some interesting auxiliary duties on that job that I found pretty demeaning.  No wonder that by the time I hit enlightenment, I had satisfied the requirement of being homeless without actually having to be on the street.  I had very little personal income for the longest time. I had to know first hand what it was like to do jobs most people don't do by choice.

Now I see that it was a process.  Without doing these things, I would not have had my current attitude and perception.  The people who are judging you about the empath ideas are so far behind you (even if they may seem ahead) by having their jobs, homes, cars and perceived security.  It can all turn for them as well, on a dime some day.  Then they will only be starting the process, while you will be more settled by then.

Regardless of how scary and serious the situation you find yourself in, YOU NEED TO TRUST that you are not alone.  Calm the mind, and relax.  Let the Universe provide what you need.  You are a creator, you just don't know it.  You create your own reality.

By the way, the tricky thing about narcissists: you do have to show compassion toward them, but you do not need to be drawn into their negative energy.  It is a balancing act. 

It may not seem so, but you are moving forward.

Renee
@renee
last year
137 posts

I can soooo relate to this! you mentioned being only 45, Im only 33 and have felt this way my entire adult life! Don't get me wrong, I worked, and i worked my butt off! I worked for 12 years in community services management as well as (partially) studying a degree in architecture, and been a full-time mum the whole time. Now, I should be looking to head back into the workforce and yet i have no desire whatsoever to go back into the "normal" workforce. I cannot handle the energy and emotions connected with community services as i was in constant contact with people who had/still are suffering so much trauma and yet the system that i was in only sought to maintain those very same structures that caused the trauma, therefore the ability to step outside of and heal was near on impossible! And i cannot continue with the architecture as i cannot for the life of me work out how i would commit to someone else timeframes and conditions etc. If i need time out to disconnect and reconnect i would have no option to do so. If I'm needed elsewhere I would not be able to be! I'm so very grateful that financially i don't NEED to work right now, but i love being productive and know that i am contributing so i am looking at ways to create a position for myself that allows for th flexibility i need to remain emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually well. I know it can be done! 

If you want to write, YOU SOULD WRITE! 

KM
@km
last year
90 posts

Focus on raising your vibration.  When you do, businesses will become visible to you that operate outside of the traditional business sense.  What I am asking you to do won't be easy, because when you lose a secure income, fear is the first thing that will pop up its head.  Fear unfortunately is what will keep you from raising your vibration.  That is why I suggested to do something temporary to get some cash flow back and reduce at least some of the anxiety, so that you can turn things around to get to that TRUST that you will need.  When it appears that there are no answers coming from the outside, turn inward.  Your more intelligent self WILL guide you, and will never lead you wrong. 

Become very still.  Know that it will be ok to stop worrying about matters for those few minutes that you are doing this.  Later when you see it working for you, you WILL increase the time you seek this peace.  Eventually your whole life will change because it won't be EGO driven.  It will have an even more intelligent self driving it than the already mature legal person who was at the driver seat before.

I would not take the time typing this, if I did not believe you could do it.  It could also be an inspiration for anyone else in a similar situation.  Raise your vibration and change your life.  Then pass the torch.  A whole Universe is out there watching us do this, and they are ready to help.  However, they need to be invited to do so.  You must reach out and say: I am ready for help.  A more intelligent help than EGO can provide.

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

mmmmmm..... this is good stuff.... you guys (km dproper renee)...... good stuff...... thank you.... thank you so very much for your time and energy and wisdom.... it is like a tall glass of orange juice to me this morning.....

as a follow-up do you have any advice on avoidance behaviors and leanings.... I find myself avoiding work (anything that has a deadline or requirement to it). I currently have a small gig editing a travel website, and for the life of me I will do just about everything right now to sabatage myself (including choosing other work that does not have a deadline)... I carved out a four hour period this morning and then I spent it doing other things... its like I'm avoiding anything that ties me down or has a meausurable result attached to it. Is this just laziness? What is laziness?

....I also feel like I'm avoiding anything where I could experience some objective success or failure--- you know--- like it doesn't feel like self esteem, but maybe it is? It feels more like PTS.... like when i work I get hit upside the head with a metaphoric 2X4. Please pray for me/continue your advice giving/meditating/sending healing energy and vibes---as I take these little baby steps back and forth between conciousness and the physical world. I watched some Eckhardt Tolle videos last night and they were grounding on the consciousness side but then I woke up facing the stairs to the office and the computer and the temporal realities of the physical world again (deadlines with real people and real websites with real words and photos on it that need to change) ---- and I just get this gut level wretched avoidance of it... like I can hardly stand to do it... I don't understand this at all (and I don't have the excuse that this is a bad company or a bad boss or bad work--- the work is for a dear close friend who has been great about stating the requirements and its travel writing about countries I've been to and subjects and places I enjoy) so I just don't get it ...my resistence.. I am just being with it.... noticing it and now going to move through it and do the work anyway. it's like I'm scared to discipline myself anymore because it reminds me of unhealthy unprincipalled, damaging, discipline that I've endured---- ughghgh  

What is work? Maybe I need to meditate on the nature of work so that I can just be with it, in it, what is "work" what is "responsibility" at their most esoteric level??? Any ideas for mindfulness in this vein?

[I'd love to hear from goodenergyhealing on this] 

KM
@km
last year
90 posts

Unfortunately not enough information for me to advise you.  However, it may not hurt to see your doctor.  You definitely have a lot going on.  Stress can really kick in the adrenals, the endocrine levels etc.  That can make you just enough sluggish that you don't realize why things have become "too difficult".  You will have to tell the doctor where you see the change.  For example:  I usually don't have issues with motivation but now...; or I usually don't procrastinate this much but now...

Like I mentioned before, I went for years never suspecting that optimistic people could be depressed.  That was me.  Again, hind sight is 20/20.

Don't delay reaching out for help.  It will just prolong the misery.

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

I am new to the identifying my awakeness and gifts under the label of Empath, but not new to experiences of being an Empath.

Here are some of the experiences of myself that led me here: 

  • People report being healed by me spiritually/emotionally (legal clients, sometimes even strangers chase me down to tell me this)
  • People have reported an intense connection when I touch them. This is mostly close family members obviously, but also people with whom I have intimate connections have given me feedback that my touch is "different" and it coincides with a very deliberate way that I touch around the head and shoulders and feet.
  • I have had episodes of high intuition or perhaps even psychic ability (seeing the very near future or up to one month before things happen) --this since I was young, and this runs in our family. I've mostly resisted it-- worked with the police once on a case. 
  • I have had the experience of moving objects, interacting with electricity and light (these are rare and could have alternate explanations, although it has happened often enough with different people that I am starting to accept the possibility that I can and do interact sometimes with the physical world without physical touch.)  
  • I often have the experience of being drained by people, being completely knocked off my center by my encounter with an object or person. And I'm not necessarily such an emotional person, but am very sensitive and very empathic. (I smell the cigarette smoke in other peoples's cars, I feel the pain and misery of others, I feel the joy etc.) 
  • I have wakeful night terrors about 4 times a week. Although i call them "terrors" I've been in therapy and I've had them long enough that I just manage them. I can't make them go away, and I don't like the drugs that make me sleep through them. They are often just people or objects in the room. They are not the same as dreams. I have lots of those too!
  • I draw an inordinate number of narcissists and sociopaths into my world. (Like a magnet.) and I first found the term "Empath" in an article I was reading about why sociopaths find certain people attractive --- and visa versa. 
  • I am conscious of the power of nature--rocks, seeds, shells, trees, and have a way with animals i.e. sing to ducks and chickens and make them fall asleep ha ha ! I raised a squirel. Animals from neighbors have adopted our home and we've not been able to get them to go back. 
  • I'm creative, artistic, some would say eccentric, flakey, fun, distracted but deep and wise as well. 

My Practice:

I do yoga sometimes. I walk. I pray and meditate every day for 30 to 60 minutes in the morning (although my meditation isn't very organized and sometimes includes reading or thinking.) I am also not that healthy right now. Overweight and using food to cope, although I have lots of healthy outlets, too. 

How Long Awakened?

I would say that I have been awake to my own consciousness for about 16 years, with deeper layers of awareness coming about nine years ago (post divorce) and for the past 1 to 3 years (working with people in trauma from around the world), with a period of heightened time for exploration since losing my job/and having my life threatened about 6 months ago. But I am new to a deliberate practice or journey as an "Empath" and am so glad I found this community.  

Jenstone
@jenstone
last year
72 posts

Wow. I had written the words "One is All is One is All" on a piece of white paper on one end of an Infiniti symbol. that's a symbol that looks like the number 8 with no breaks and smooth lines. On one side of the infiniti symbol I drew a line called "Self-Care" and the other side of the infiniti symbol I drew a line called "Other Care"--- I also wrote inside the infinit circle the words "toward money" and "away from money" and "toward people" and "away from people" as the oppositional directions of the infiniti symbol. 

Then I came downstairs and this meditation came on

(based on a book written in 1910) What is most interesting is that the words "One is All. And All is One." are in the descriptive text about the book that the meditation is based upon, which wouldn't be so "empathic" if I had any prior knowledge or experience of this concept as it relates to money--- never had the thoughts before-----

if I had been in the room when I wrote the words I may have even surmised that I "heard something" that made me think this, but I was not only in a different room than my computer, I was all the way upstairs on a different floor. 

---------------------------

Anyway--- interesting meditation on accepting philosophy as truth in order to move forward to "getting rich" as an unrestricted right to life. all beings have the right to life, the inaliable right to develop in all that it can become, and this requires the use of things and in order to become the possessor of the things that a soul needs to develop, the ego must have money and thus the pursuit of money is a right and a duty in the development of the soul while in the material world.

Very interesting. I think I have never been able to integrate the pursuit of money with the pursuit of goodness and self-awareness/soul. 

zelda33
@zelda33
last year
4 posts

I also had been a public servant for around 15 years or so, plus worked at other lower paying jobs in between. Abusive clients and nasty, power hungry managers and co workers really got to me after a while. That, coupled with a marriage to a man who was sucking the very soul out of me, led to me having a nervous breakdown that lasted for years. So I firstly left my husband, and a year later, accepted a redundancy from work. I studied at tafe for quite a while after that, but eventually, could not even cope with that anymore; especially the work placements that we were required to do. I spend a lot of time by myself now, which I find very peaceful and healing. I have hobbies that I like to do, such as reading, writing, puzzles, knitting and crafts. I live with my 28 year old son, and my youngest, 18 year old son visits me whenever he can. My oldest, my 36 year old daughter who lives in another state, hasn't spoken to me for years, because according to her, I was a bad mother. I feel that the problem is more with her than it is with me. My 34 year old son is an ice addict, who can get quite verbally and physically violent when he's on ice, or coming down from it, so I have banned him from coming to my home until he has been drug free for at least a year. Being around him is exhausting.

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