Why do I attract crazy? Do you?
updated by @tigerlily: 08/04/18 02:12:56AM
hard to attract anyone with good friend potential in London....
But generally I ask that the Divine helps all those that might come to me seeking help, but for whom I might not have the skills, time or energy to help myself directly. Plus if you have problems setting boundaries you can always ask for help with that too! I used to feel guilty if I did not answer each any every help request myself, until I understood that the Divine always has several back-up plans. So if I do not have enough time or energy to help, they find alternative ways to action any help required!
I think for myself it is also important to know that I do my share of helping. I am lucky enough, that I work as a healer and masseur, so I tick some boxes here through my regular work. That way when I do take time out for myself I can relax better. So for anyone perhaps feeling that they don't do enough healing work with their job, looking after a family, or else - perhaps they can think about setting some dedicated time aside to do healing work that satisfies them? Be that e,g. volunteering in a soup kitchen, volunteering in an animal shelter, dedicating meditation time to healing goals, sending distant healing, writing self-help blogs, etc. etc.... And often it is actually about just looking at ones life more closely and remembering all the good work we already do - to keep the 'I am not helping enough' guilt-demons at bay
It seems to go with the territory, attracting the crazy. The main usefulness of this repeat experience is it has taught me to learn about and maintain personal (as well as energetic) boundaries. But it's a repeat experience, hence a repeat lesson. Very tiring...
It's great you can set a boundary! I didn't have any, had to learn from scratch. But it is more about learning your own internal boundaries, I think. Solidifying the right to have them has taken me years of work and relearning by bitter experience what happens when I don't take my own needs seriously.
Personality disordered types see any boundary as a challenge. I have learnt to sidestep them. You lose too much energy trying to get them to see reason and behave decently and accordingly.
Tigerlilly-just wrote a very similar blog on why do i attract the suffering, it appears i can't help myself meddling into others lives. Trying to set boundaries is hard, also my 'disorder' friends know how to pile on the pressure, for example when i tell a friend '' I'm too unwell to attend an event-shed says see how you feel later, then she says it will be good for you, when I've explained I've been sick i think this is where boundaries must be put in place.
I think being an empath, we thrive on healing and helping to detriment of our own needs then we piss others off, if we are blunt!!
Its like my bipolar male friend keeps telling me he wants a wife, he's lonely and likes kissing me, but i want the promise of a husband , and kids not just casual friendship kissing, its like i can't meet men to meet my needs!
You are not alone. I too have been attracting mentally unstable people to me all my life. People who pour out their life story to me after just becoming acquainted. It is overwhelming and exhausting to me. I don't have any answers. Best to bless those people then quickly let them go. I empathize with you . I used to wonder why. Do we empaths wear an invisible sign tat attracts those people to us so they atomatically trust us and dump all their stuff on us?
Maybe we were all born to be "true" therapists. Ones who actually listen and help people through their daily problems. Versus just a therapist who thinks everyone needs to go on medication!
A friend of mine at work said I'm just very easy to talk to you and can just see it in me. Maybe that is a trait we all have. I've set boundaries with people, and they just ignore them, then I get upset because they over step that boundary and im a bad person.
I had a similar experience with someone I worked with, It was nothing that you did anymore tan I did to the woman I worked with. But it's hard to work like that. I had similar experiences with a woman I worked with. She was nuts an really scared me. I was friendly with. I feel with you. Hang in there.