One thing I've realized during my awakening is that I've always had a fear of death coming too soon for me to have done anything meaningful with my life. This has always been characterized by my rush to get things done and for things to happen. Since I became consciously aware of it, I've had an increase in fear of such. However, with each increase of the fear, I get even more fearful of that I might be having a premonition that my early death is upon me. When I've gotten premonitions in the past, there has been a lot of truth to it. Usually it's about other people though, and not only about myself or not about myself at all (for example, I broke down crying one night in high school because I knew the guy I was dating was going to dump me. Sure enough, he did a few weeks later.) I try to remind myself that my premonitions come from the energy I sense from others- I've predicted success, failure, break ups and breakdowns. Mostly I've been right.
My increasing fear is mixed with a feeling that I will face a threat to my life, but survive and be able to go on with my life. However, I don't know what I rely on now. Am I truly feeling something or is it my mind feeding into it's own thoughts? (note that I've had times where I obsess over a fear or thought for awhile and it usually doesn't reign true at all. I call them "phases".) I also want to know- does anyone else have premonitions or experience things like this? Not just unsureness of why you feel something, but just go through times of fearing mortality as well?
updated by @rocky-wolfe: 01/22/17 06:59:57AM