4peace
@4peace
2 years ago
187 posts

h1234,

When you are an empath, people are attracted to you, especially people who are hurting. I feel like these "messed up" people are way more interesting than the people who are not :) I'm blessed to have so many friends who are just as flaky as I am :) I just kind of embrace this about myself and thank God that I'm allowed to help others.

In love and light,

4peace

4peace
@4peace
2 years ago
187 posts

I have bi-polar friends and they do take a lot out of you :) I'm not sure I could handle a bipolar mate though. My husband has constant dysthemicdepression and it's draining, I have to shield myself all the time from it. Don't be in a hurry to marry just to have kids. I was almost 40 when I had my first kid and 41 when I had my second. I remember everyone looking at me like I was inherentlyflawed because I was not married at 18 or 20 like the rest of my family. You can always adopt (so many kids need a good home), don't get stuck in a horrible marriage just to have kids.

Best of luck to you, I'm sorry you had such a horrible date.

4peace

WindWolf
WindWolf
@windwolf
2 years ago
131 posts
As it was stated before they are attracted to us. Because we provide a "safe place", people feel that we understand them and don't have to hide their pain. It can be very draining because we transfer our light to them a lot of times without knowing. I remember when I worked at a strip club as a cook, I'm not sure how I made so many friends with the dancers but I did. I just listened when they needed me to and I learned about them, their real lives not just the act they put on for customers. It drained the hell out of me, but it was worth it. I still keep up with the girls I met there now that I've left that scene, and so many of them are doing much better. Only a few are still dancing, I don't judge them, it's a fun way to make money and they're young. So yeah we attract people that are suffering and sometimes self destructive. Because they feel it inside that we can help them, without consciously making the decision to get help they find us. Our help can turn their live into success stories, and they keep our lives interesting. Never stop improving yourself but don't do it just to attract a healthier class of people. Remember the sick seek out the doctor, and this life just happens to be our shift.
Lavender&rose
Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
2 years ago
82 posts

That seems to come with the territory. My body reacts really badly these days to anyone not ultimately good for me, no matter how likable they may be, etc. Manic people are the worst; the energy overrides my own and stays with me for days. Can't bear the dragging leg pains I get around certain illnesses, also.

Not quite 38... You are young! Don't panic and hand over your best years to some crazy man who lovebombs you on a first date and will burn you out in a short time. (I've picked the crazy/nasty ones, unfortunately, so look back sadly at that aspect of my life, but boy do I know a whole manual of red flags now!)

Sorry your date was a fizzer. It's not you. It's the condition - we are magnets for all sorts of trouble, and troubled souls. Some empaths seem to thrive on it and feel it is our noble duty, but it tires me right out these days.

Also: I am not big on the Law of Attraction. Don't think you need to 'improve yourself' and certainly don't think you should blame yourself for these peeps being attracted to you - but you do need to learn your own boundary, and what is good for you, and maybe slowly make some decisions around all of this. Once I got firmer, and clearer, I felt less of a terrible person for assessing that yet another sick person was not a good idea for me as a new best friend, etc. Long hard work to draw those lines and lose the guilt, though.
Lavender&rose
Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
2 years ago
82 posts

So true. Same way a pedophile can spot and target an abused, emotionally neglected child.

WindWolf
WindWolf
@windwolf
2 years ago
131 posts
Of course there are those that seek to hurt us but I'm trying to have a positive attitude. Which for me recently is a really tough thing to do.
Lavender&rose
Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
2 years ago
82 posts

I got a slew of autoimmune disorders c/- this thing and my wild desire to heal/help/rescue/save, including some truly awful people in hindsight! There is nothing like listening to your body. For years I didn't, and learned the hard way it wasn't going to stop sending me messages of distress.

Am now saving myself for people I canactually help, who actually want to help themselves (that sure narrows the field!)- and that includes myself these days...

Lavender&rose
Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
2 years ago
82 posts

I think having a BPD/NPD/HPD mother really sets you up to click easily with tricky types. They just feel right, and we know how to cater to them. Good luck!

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 years ago
426 posts
I'm in the same boat! Just when I think ive met great positive people, I then later find out they are just unstable! I try to remain as positive and hopeful as I can, but these people in the end are draining. Alot even do a good job hiding their pain, even though I see it in their eyes. The way they talk, carry themselves, etc. I think to myself "am I wrong here?" And we'll in the end I'm not.I feel I can set all the boundaries I want and these people just over step them. And then it's my fault?

Want to reply? Login here

From Our Sponsors

  • empath book