Have you experienced The Dark Night of the Soul
updated by @rene: 01/24/17 09:07:59PM
I believe that everyone goes through this period at least once in his/her life.
Mother Teresa's experience was a most touching story to me.
If you haven't read it here is an excerpt : http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/faith-and-character/faith-and-character/mother-teresas-long-dark-night.html
I am just coming out of the dark night of the soul. I too thought that I had worked through what was in the way but this came out of nowhere. I knew enough to realize that this had to be more than depression. I accepted it and stopped fighting hoping that it would pass soon. As soon as I surrendered I began to feel better.
I am going through a dark night now, too. For the first time, I want to give some credence to Astrology: I was listening to an astrologer say there's a retrograde of Mars, forewarned way back in February that it would be going on March through end-August this year, when usually it only happens for a couple of days. I am learning Mars is all about division and separation, fight and resistance, getting you to want to move or quit work and be done with things you put up with, no compromises, nevermind the consequences. So, the good news is that according to astrology, relief is coming soon!
Personally, this is maybe my fifth dark night, usually lasting a few months to over a year each time. Each is different, but it holds true that sometimes getting out of it is *not* up to you alone - we people are centered on humanity and the power of ourselves, but all you can really control are your choices and response to a vast, constantly changing universe. And realizing a new way to see things takes the time it takes. When you're not in control, then it is the ability to remain centered and moving with grace that can become your focus.
And I was lucky enough to get a message from my guides a month ago that sounds so much like what you just said: none of our tools are working like we have come to expect. What I was told is that there is a shift happening, and everyone has changed so much, the tools we have learned to use do not work now (like trying to fix an iPad with a wrench), but the spiritual tools we need to take their place have not actually been invented yet - they are in research and development on the spiritual side. But prayer works, and getting together with spiritually-conncted friends and like minds may not help like it used to, but it is important to keep meeting because it is a good time to discover and try new tools - other ways to ground, to connect, to heal, etc. Like this site, I guess!
I have talked with other sensitives and we seem to be experincing it in similar ways: like a thick, impermeable cloud between us and the connection we are used to being able to make. I think appropriate sleep and going through the motions with good habits whenever possible, keeping that structure and keeping things going even when it feels like faking it, that keeps chaos away and put order to what I can, so I can stay open as much as possible, so when the cloud dissipates, I am ready to connect.
Thanks for posting, and I hope this helps.
Yes. I have experienced "The Dark Night of the Soul." It was difficult and like someone else said, kind of like a fog was around me that I couldn't penetrate. Wondering to myself. What IS this? It was different for me than a normal depression. It was awful.
I find it so interesting and comforting to find that so many of us on this site go through the same things and are willing to talk about it. For so many years I just thought I was walking this strange walk through life that no one else understood.
Thank you Rene' for the link and to everyone else who posted links. They were all really good
Of course, and it was one heck of a road... it's never been shadow 100% and yet, what i considered to be of so much value inside this "ego" held a lot of energy that might have been not interpreted in the right way when manifested. I had to "destroy" a lot of the things inside, in a way. And yet my opinion/memories remain the same when i recall it: they were not "bad", they however needed an outlet, a direction with an outcome. And more than everything, these energies were only bad in relation to certain people. Never in relation to animals, children, the natural environment and so on.
I held scars inside from people and they needed to be healed as well. Not like i still don't have, and fortunately never in an abusive sense of speaking. But because of my way of feeling my environment and what goes on inside people('s minds). Detaching from myself came on a daily basis as a necessity when i did not want to have any addictions either and i had to do it to make everything less intense. Cancelling out my own "powers" is something of an abomination to me, and yet finding a lifestyle to develop what you've been given, make people more tolerant, make yourself be accepted and accept yourself is not easy either, but fortunately I believe I have a taste for challenges and growing as a person ^^
I had some thoughts running through my mind at certain points such as people deserve what they chose to get, people should not cry about the people they are ruled by when these rulers grew up among them and in the very same society and were let to develop like this. How best of the Saints can become the worst of "Evils". That people need wake-up calls, that bad can be a necessary good. That at one point "Now I understand why women were not given the right to vote until the 19th century", how the war on "my religion is better" is total bull as every one of them has a good message to send. How even those who call themselves spiritualists gaze at the shooting stars while choosing to ignore the bad that lurks among them, shielding themselves not from bad influences but from truth and the place where thoughts materialize, not into what they want and dream as good but into what those who have the guts to try it want and this includes both good and bad (as many bads come from missing necessities and of course love or understanding that was not received at the right time)
That the concept of war for us as human species is just as idiotic as it could get, and we shouldn't be called homo sapiens sapiens. Homo sheep sapiens maybe, sure. And about my own rage that I might still have inside when it comes to people, but then life throws some very interesting things in your way from which you can learn and which can teach you how to re-direct these. It might be people who are like you, and by perceiving them you realize what is inside you as well, or through trying to help them or maybe through being helped. Someone told me life would better not be seen as a battle but, I am afraid from my point of view it's been one. Not physical, but psychical with only one way out that I am aware of: forward.
Absence of action or responsibility is something that I notice from others and pisses me off. I have moments and moments and yet i "remember" what i sense around, generally. I somehow tend to act like a mirror and act from what i see in my environment or express these problems.
I understand what you are saying Rene so this is why i want to ask you something, try and do not get alienated from yourself, please. Why, because I know the feeling and whenever this happens i grow mad at my own self and rapidly change my attitude and try to "find" my roots again or remind myself this will not lead to anything.
First it is about accepting it. Then it is about letting it be/go, then about letting time heal it. You cannot be perfect from the start and we never are, we come into this life not always in the best families or societies, that is, not always the most peaceful or values-protecting, and we can grow to be more or less judgemental or tolerant. But things are there for a reason, and you must use these reasons in your favor because this is what we are supposed to do. When you work with yourself and grow to accept that you tried your best at a certain point (what you thought it was the best) will help more than shutting everything away or blaming yourself again and again. You can always do something and more than you imagine because your own mind gives color and intensity to a problem. We often have enough tools to deal with ourselves but we have to discover the right way to use them. It should be noted however that mixing your present with good thoughts and desire to do something foryourself or the society or the environment and so on, that is, linking yourself to a purpose, can give some amazing things. It is a big change from the individualistic type of thinking and life might arrange itself a little bit differently without "much" but the power of thoughts. Why, because you are more in sync with the universe i like to think. And this is why I believe someone told me I should not see life as a battle... i think the "battle" in their viewpoint might have been the one against a "good tide". Can I ever know for sure ^^?
"What is good, what is bad" they say, but I know what deeply saddens and angers me, for example when we go to our house in the mountains and over the years I've noticed huge areas of forest being cut down even though we are close to a natural reservation and the faun and flora there are amazing. From deeply perceiving this aswrongbecause of the purpose these trees are cut for (that has nothing to do about necessity but greed)I act. Because one side works to make me (And us/more people) feel grounded and empowered (nature) and from the other side i never perceive such things and thus I can be quite ruthless from my standpoint: I wish them gone, or changed. These ideas, of course, are not there like this from the beginning, they are created over years of being ignored or not finding an outlet and yet being provoked. This is how the mechanism in criminals minds or other people doing things works. By acknowledging it I can help myself, but not everyone can go so deep inside their own layers and they will need guidance.
I want to show you something
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGkor the longer version
I kind of like to look at this the same way I look at a computer. All animals including humans I believe are given just so much room for short term memories and experiences to be considered and then either incorporated into the core soul, which would be the hard drive, but on some occasions this just, for whatever reason, does not happen. The result is an over load of your short term Ram/memory which feels much like depression but what is more like a computer freeze up on a spiritual level. In time, and with patience, this backlog will clear itself as your core works through all of the issues. Patience and meditation seem to be the tools that we are blessed with to resolve these overloads on the spirit/soul!
Well, that's my take on it at least!
The Dark Night Of The Soul....i just now have heard of this and i googled it. This is what i feel im going thru. I should mention here that i only joined this forum about 4 months ago or so as i only recently discovered (rediscovered..) i am an Empath. Something i dont get...a question i ask myself over and over again in my mind...WHY ME? ...i dont mean why am i an Empath...but Why are people ''unkind'' to me? From parents, brothers, cousins, friends, employers, retail clerks (the list is long ) i have been constantly ignored/put down/taken adavantage of/snubbed/dismissed...unloved...unliked...you name it. It is not paranoia, it isnt anything malicious i have said or dne in the first place to deserve it...it just is. I will tell you i saw a Medium (two different ones on different occasions) and i was extremely careful not to be fooled/conned by a fake medium so i gave no information at all about my life or why i was there to see them....but they ''saw''..they knew me, they knew my life, they knew personal details i never revealed to ANYONE ever, stuff that was impossible to know unless they were there or a video or book of my life was handed to them to research and know. The first Medium was shaking with fear of me...not ME, but what she saw surrounding me. A black Aura....but it wasnt my aura...she saw a huge negative energy constantly attacking me ....and i asked who/what this was (but as an Empath..i knew already the answer )..: ''YOUR FATHER AND 3 brothers...they are against you''. Later on, after the third visit i stopped going to her as she had told me everything about my life , from birth to the day i knocked on her door. About a year or later i saw another medium. She also was not told any info on who i was or why i came to see her..i was also testing her to see if she was a real medium...she was. She knew personal details about my life i never spoke of , she knew the mistreatment i went thru and was constantly going thru with father, brothers, ''friends'', coworkers, employers. Always the same thing ..''They are jealous of you, your spirit is too pure and they are trying to break you . They are working for the devil and their mission is to break you down, to turn away from God and join the DArk side .''. Now i realize to anybody reading this , you may say to yourself --'''this guy is nuts/ relegious whacko/paranoid delusional...''....But im not...i was never really relegious even tho i was born into a catholic family. I only recently confirmed to myself that i believe in a creator and that i am Spiritual, not following any man made relegions at all. I have never had schizzofrenia, or paranoia, or border line disorders..i have had mild to bad depresson and anxiety in my childhood and teens, but that was due to family upbringing and later on in teens/adult life problems with people as i mentioned earlier. I find myself extremely lonely, unwanted , low self esteem and always searchng for ways to self improve myself or to anylyze my life and ask myself ''what should i do to get people to like me or keep the ones i have ?''. but its never any better...people float in and out of my life. Doesnt matter how much good i do for them, how many favors or acts of kindness....they All either turn on me or snub me at some point. I get used a lot for favors and dont ask for anything, just friendship or a closer bond....but they all turn on me and leave me. I am in the dark night of the soul....i think i was born into it. I need to overcome it and be reborn....cuz this life i was given just does not work for me...it is a loveless, cold life of emptiness for me.
I feel such a sense of wanting to take you in and just hug the top of your head and shoulders for about an hour and half. Can you feel this warmth?
Where is your mother in all of this? Your real mother, your image of mother, etc.?
You are such a survivor for continuing on. Thanks for sharing your story. What a rich and vulnerable soul you have. Stick it out. Hang in there with us......
This is the song that's playing right now on whatever mix I'm listening to and I just feel like it would encourage you... ha ha....
my mother? well...she is alive. Growing up i always saw her as sweet and loving....but i didnt really see what was going on. She sides with her husband and other 3 sons. She will always make up all sorts of excuses for their bad actions, always defend them when it is very obvious that they act hostile towards me . I use to (until just a few months ago..) have unconditional love for her, thinking she a Mom and that is the way it goes. But i ''caught '' her in too many excuses and i see that she too is part of the family problem . So my heart has turned to stone against her and her actions...if this sounds Cold, you have to know and experience all that i have gone thru from birth till today....and then you will understand why as both Mediums i saw earlier said to me '' You are unbreakable. Your Spirit is too strong. You cant be beaten. You have God's protection, he has a purpose for you . There are Many against you, always will be . That is your Life. '' . I am stuck in a darkness, waiting to be released from it. So far this is not a happy life, all i seem to be doing is enduring it.
I feel i am just coming out of one, never knew how to describe it but now i think this was it. I would think that on the way out you may go through the stages of grief. Like you are mourning the ego and what you were but can no longer be because of what you know now you can't go back. Curious isc you looked up the stages of grief if you would find some resemblance of what you are going through.
I still get low points, sometimes they just last a few hours, sometimes days, or like last winter, which was a drag, but with occasional gasps for air.
I would not say though that the tools (meditation, grounding, prayer, Reiki, etc.) do not work anymore. it is more that one cannot feel much of a relief from them, which is not necessarily the same as them not working. It is bit like a blizzard has dumnped a few tons of snow on your house and property, and we only have a snowshovel to clear it. Well that is what it feels like, but actually many will already have a motorized snow plough, plus a hord of angels on more snow ploughs. The trouble is not the equipment and amount of help, but that it is a very heavy blizzard, and it is still going on. What we clear, is replaced by a new load, almost immediately. So we are clearing, but something new takes it's place asap, and it feels the same, so it is easy to belief that nothing is working. And as there is so much dumped on one, and it lasts for a while, with little respite, it is easy to start feeling it is ones own stuff....(but where all that stuff was supposed to have been tugged away in my bodies, during all the weeks and months before, when I felt fine, is beyond me )
The upside of all this is that during those times we are clearing A LOT! And I trust that in the long run it will make our lives better and better. I know it is a platitude, but I then remind myself that it could all be much worse. Perhaps the collective crap we are sending into Light now, is stopping a war, another economic melt down, or ecological disaster? So the prize we are paying during a dark nite, to awoid an abyss, is actually not that high. Even though, of course it can be very uncomfortable....
What helps me during dark nites is that I keep giving healing to clients, and see how it helps them!
But one can look a it this way too - e.g. feelings of disconnection - they are energy! They are energies creating the illusion of disconnection! Many humans think that they are what is 'real'. Millions have fed them over centuries, there will be a fair amount of them accumulated. So if we are drafted in to help clear such feelings of disconnectedness - more and more humans will feel more connected. Feeling more connected, will makes them feel more aware. More responsible towards one another, the planet, etc....
I did some reading about meditation research the last few weeks. It is pretty exciting. Cannot find the article again now, but think it was IONS research, or one of their youtube clips. Something like it being 30million in the USA in 2015, up form 12million only a few years before that. Plus the number of peer reviewed research studies have gone from a handful per year in the 80's to over 300pa in 2015. If you look at yoga figures , they are ever increasing too. Over all in the 90s one would have been laughed at by most doctors, if mentioning CAM treatments. Nowadays they are so mainstream, there is hardly a cancer patient in the UK, who does not use some CAM treatment as well, and doctors have become much more accepting! So our 'quiet' revolution - bit for bit dismantling energetic structures of non-spirituality is working. But like any revolution we still get some cuts and scrapes along the way.
Love and Light!
I understand this to be the period of time when you seem cut off from Source and must rely on your own achievements to overcome adversity. I have to say that I have not experienced this. I did expect it though. I also understand that not all go through this initiation and those that do are way stronger than before. All things are suspect and even you may suspect Source and are angry about your lot. I accept my lot but are angry that others must suffer. That is all I can offer. There are some here that can give you a better perspective on it. Don't give up. i feel you are way stronger than you even believe.