Your Experiences with Physical Touch

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LoconnorO
@loconnoro
last year
151 posts

Hey Everyone, it's me again. I hope we are all doing well. I wanted to ask other Empaths about their ideas or experience with Physical Touch.

I know that through my experiences I don't really like to be touched, at least not without being told or without warning. It feel weird to me but it's not like I feel them when they touch me (Like their Vibe or something). I've also noticed that I can't stand people who are even slightly narcissistic touching me, it makes me cringe. There is something so different between someone who is Narcissistic who cares about me and gives me a hug or touches me than someone who genuinely cares about me from a none-selfish place... it's almost as if the Narcisstic person needs me for themselves and that's the only reason why then care about me, it's not that they actually care about me (Hopefully I explained that well). I grew up in a family of very Narcissistic people who I didn't realize were Natcissistic until I got out of my house and met more people and got more into being an Empath, and I guess I was just always used to disliking them touching me and began hating being touched in general, but then I met other people who it's not a bad experience for them to touch me. It's so weird. I do have a question, There is someone who touches me and it feels oddly good, and I don't know why. Is this possibly because this person cares about me in a none-selfish way or something? It throws me off to how this person has a very comfortable aura... like they obviously have something off about them, like some sort of dark secret, but they are very comfortable to be around for me. Does anyone have any theories about this?

ALSO, I've heard that Empaths naturally have healing vibes, and I rarely touch people, but people really like when I do give them like a "real" hug... Should I be more open to giving people a friendly pat on the back or (Not in a creepy way or anything) in general not being as hands off as I usually am? I never realized how "normal" it is to just casually touch someone in a friendly way, and I always hated it so I never touched other people and now I realize how much it helps, especially in serious conversations or for just encouragement. What are your opinions, share any of them please! Thank you much and talk with you all later!


updated by @loconnoro: 07/20/17 11:03:46AM
Kit Kat
@kit-kat
last year
230 posts

Great topic! :)

First, I can totally relate to what you said about people touching you who are even slightly narcissistic! For me, it definitely sparks all of the emotion of what I imagine they are trying to gain, and then I get (at least a little) perturbed. YEAH, it's almost like they need us for themselves.. such an awful feeling

It sounds like you're a lot like me with regard to physical touch. I -most of the time- feel awkward about it. Awhile back my grandpa (who doesn't know anything about empaths, and I would never tell him that I am one) pointed out that I gave 'half hugs' and tried to 'teach' me how to hug properly (as if it's hard). Ever since then I've been more careful to give full-on hugs, but also hugs have felt even more awkward for me. Anyway. That's just hugs. I've never been in a romantic relationship (INFJ, emotional empath <-- my excuses :) lol) so I can't speak with regard to those experiences, but I do really crave the touch of those whose love for me would be pure.

Sometimes the love of my family members is more pure than at other times, so at least there's that. And I think massage is one of the most healing things in the world, if it's given in selflessness.

I think that, with the person you talked about, who has the 'comfortable aura,' you've found a true friend. Touch communicates so much emotion, and those who have something to hide generally do not send out such peaceful energy (from my experience).

lol I just finished reading the last paragraph of your post and so I wrote what's above before seeing that you talked about "'real' hugs" too :) I do think that it's good for us, in seeking to be healers, to stretch by way of service. Touching others willfully is generally out of my comfort zone, too, but, having taken this time to think more about it, I think we could probably help people even more in this way.

Nocturne's Angel
@nocturnes-angel
last year
867 posts

For me it depends on the person.

As a general rule I don't letpeople touch me because I tend to pick up everyone's stuff when contact is made (thoughts, emotions, pain, etc.)

It's the main reason I don't shop at antique stores, yard sales, etc. because when I touch anything/anyone I pick up the impressions that the person or item has gone through & it can be quite painful & overwhelming at times.

I've given up trying to explain it to people so I just have a general rule of not touching people.

Some find it weird, those who know me well accept it since I'm usually the one calling them to alert them to take an aspirin or to go to the doctor because they are sick, pregnant, etc. even though they may not have any symptoms yet.

LoconnorO
@loconnoro
last year
151 posts

I completely relate with the Half Hug thing! I mean when I really want to hug someone people say that I'm an amazing hugger or that it feels good to hug me, but most people don't get that from me... I have to be honest it really made me smile to read your comment too. Thank you for your response!

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
last year
230 posts

ha ha I know, it's so much easier (less close). Wow, complimenting hugs isn't very common, I don't think.. yours must really be amazing; maybe ppl can tell that I feel awkward about hugs lol.

You're welcome! :)

Are you an INFJ personality type by chance? Just curious :)

LoconnorO
@loconnoro
last year
151 posts

So I just googled it lol because I have no Idea, but I'm relating to a lot of it... I wanted to be a doctor for some time now to help other people, but I've realized that telling someone "you have a cold, take this" really doesn't help people the way I want to. I want to help them Live happier and enjoy life i guess, I'm not sure. I think I am that tho thank you so much for sharing it!

LoconnorO
@loconnoro
last year
151 posts

Your post was really informative thank you so much. My family is the same way about hugs, except my, as I've gotten older and I'm close to moving out since I'm at that age now, doesn't hug as often, but she does expect me to sit and talk with her about "our days" but it really turns into her venting time every time. I wouldn't mind it if she didn't force it honestly, but she likes to just vent to me for almost 20-30 minutes on a regular basis and it's extremely draining for me. But yeah I totally relate to what you're saying. I think it is important for BOTH parties to be whole-heartily into a hug, and that's the only time it feels good to me anyways... Thank you so much for the comment!

LoconnorO
@loconnoro
last year
151 posts

Yeah

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