Dating

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TigerLily
@tigerlily
last year
309 posts
I really don't see too much on dating. But I'm struggling here and need help.I've been actively dating to find a partner, and it's really hard on me because after one date I guess you can say "you just know" lol. It's online dating I'm mostly doing. I think we as empaths can just pick up on that right away. My friends don't understand this and think I'm being picky. But the "vibes" I get are all over. Insecurities, desperation, not interested, depression, negativity etc these are all things I feel right away on the first date from the guy. And some I get such a bad feeling before I even meet them, and then I know why. (Even though texting and online profiles seem fine)But, I feel like when I meet one who has great positive energy and he shows interest as well and I think it's going somewhere. All of a sudden I feel like I get this feeling out of nowhere they are not interested. It really bothers me because, not only does it happen often, but I get upset. It's like his excitement combined with mine excitement, I'm just way overly excited that it probably scares them off. I have no idea how to control this. I almost feel like a different person.(I'm currently going through this now, met a great guy, good vibes, have butterflies. And guess he's had "long" days the past 2 days, but is at least reaching out just to say hi) I'm trying not come off as desperate, but this double excitement is hard to tame, along with this not interested feeling. I don't know how to go with the flow with someone who has good positive energy?
updated by @tigerlily: 01/12/17 07:45:41AM
Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
That is a tough one. Sometimes it's hard to tell if it's your emotions your feeling or theirs. Especially when your dealing with those butterflies. When I'm in doubt I trust my intuition. That first feeling I get is usually the correct one. I have never been on a dating sight but I have known people that has. It seems scary to me. So please be careful.
Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
last year
373 posts

the feeling of 'not interested' could be their fear that you might not be interested too. Or with my last BF, who turned out to be a full blown Narcissist, I sometimes had such feelings, even though in the outside all seemed to be fine. With the benefit of hindsight I now think it was when he started to have feelings of boredom.... Not meaning to make you paranoid though, but sometimes I find that feeling something does not guarantee that I can understand everything. There is at times more than one way to interpret a feeling. If it happens, I have to decide if I want to communicate verbally, or watch for more signs either way....

Generally I get rid of any negative emotions I feel asap. That includes feelings of insecurity, fear, anxiety, etc, connected with meeting potential partners too. You can use tools like EFT for that, or just pray that they be removed (and then it often feels as if I breath them off).

All the best with your dating - much Happiness!

TigerLily
@tigerlily
last year
309 posts

Thought I'd give an update on this one. This great gent is going through alot right now and is highly stressed. Some situations at hand in his life took a turn for the worse, and he is trying to work through them. Maybe that's where I'm getting the lack of interest from him. He still communicates every so often, but doesn't ask for help or show signs he needs it. To me, being used to everyone needing my help to get through a tough time is a shock to me. My closest friend even said this is probably a blessing and the kind of man I need in my life.

I am my worse critic sometimes as that logic part kicks in and gives me bad feelings, but when I listen to my heart it's all good. I will have to use my heart more often for myself as my brain just gets in the way because of my experiences in life. Hope this makes sense.

who_am_I
@who-am-i
last year
27 posts

Dear TigerLily,

I know exactly how you feel. None of my friends ever understood me either. Now they just except it. All my friends would have one boyfriend after another. And I would have none. They would say that I was too picky. But how can you be with someone when everything inside is screaming " he isnt right for you"? They could never understand how I could know if they were right for me or not. And honestly I couldnt either. Sometimes I would feel that a certain person can help me get though something and I could help him. That this relationship was temporary but helpful. I used to hate that I was so " picky" but now I accept it. Its a part of me, and i am glad that I have this gift if you want to call it that, because it saves me and the other person a lot of pain and time. It isnt something that you can change or turn off, try to accept and use it for good.


As for your relationship right now.

As empaths, we feel more deeply. That is why the excitement is so hard to tame. Its like you know that what you have with him on some level is " right". You can feel it. You may not know it but your not as scared to reach to him, give yourself to him. But he is. He is scared. He doesnt feel as deeply as you do, he doesnt have that " it feels right feeling". You have to be patient with him. Remember that he does not feel at the same depth as you do. But that does NOT mean that he does not feel the same way about you. It will just take him a bit longer to get there, to let himself feel so deeply.

You see maybe im wrong, but loooking around we as empaths dont have a choice how much we feel and what we feel. We feel everything deeply to the core of our bones. Other people do have a choice. They guard themselves from that depth until they are sure of their feelings and that the pain that might come after is worth it.

Try taking things slow. Get to know each other. Try to tame those feelings so you dont scare him off or send him wrong signals but dont hide them.

If you ever want to talk, messege me!

Peter
@peter
last year
18 posts

I have never found the best relationships in my life, they have always found me.

When I live safely within my boundaries and energy circles, just growing on levels other than with a companion soul, the best souls have entered my life and made a positive difference.

I never do worry, blame, or jealousy, when I feel these emotions I block them right away and ask myself why? This has given me the power over my own life to recognize the beautiful things the universe sends my way and lets me keep.

Seek less, share more with no expectation of return, live more.

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