Coming off ssri's

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Nea
@nea
last year
201 posts

Hey everybody, I hope you're having a wonderful day!

I need a bit of advice right now - bear with me this is gonna take a bit of explanation. It was a several years ago that I found out I was an Empath (and found this place), and following that I made strides in grounding and feeling more like 'myself' for the first time in my life. Understanding some of what it going on inside me really helped me in many ways even though i still don't know or understand everything about myself.

About 3 years ago I started to realize that I wasn't feeling well, and in retrospect the hard things I had to go through in the years before I even knew about Empaths really had taken its toll on me, and I was slowly unraveling, or so it felt. I've always had problems with anxiety and depression - I just didn't know that's what it was. But that's a whole other story in itself. Anyway, I wasn't living a meaningful life, and the job I had was basically obliterating my will to live and draining me on every level. I had no energy at all, and I started to get really bad anxiety attacks and depression periods. I soldiered on far too long before getting help. It's funny how that works - you don't realize how bad it is until you literally can't move. But I did get help and I had to quit my job to even start healing at all. That place was way too wrong for me.

It's been about 3 years now, and it's been a slow road, but I finally took the decision to stop taking my medication - mostly because I felt they weren't making anything any better anymore, instead they were holding me back from healing more. It was quite scary but at the same time I've held off for quite some time, and I know it's the right decision.

Now for your advice - it's been about 2 weeks now, and the withdrawal symptoms are going away and I'm starting to feel better. The problem is, it seems these past years of numbing myself - which I know was necessary - has made me take steps back in my empathy skills and I'm suddenly flooded and overwhelmed by the surroundings. It's not as bad as it was before I knew I was an empath, it feels different, and I still have the basics down, but it feels like resolving all the things that needed resolved through my illness have made me more aware and also vulnerable aswell as stronger, if that makes sense.

I wonder if any of you guys have any insight in how I should handle it and how I should know what path to take - it definitely feels like I could get further than I have before. I've learned ALOT about myself these past years and I've come to accept and love myself on a new level. At the same time I'm so frustrated because it's like I suddenly have no clue what I'm supposed to do with my life. I'm sure that's nothing unique, even though we all are.

I hope I'm making sense

Nea


updated by @nea: 01/17/17 10:03:23AM
Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
To start off with, I will tell you up front , I have no idea. I'm sure I have needed medication over the years and have took it once for a couple of weeks but stopped because it scared me because I didn't feel like me anymore. I had no emotions and being a sensitive person, it was scary. Most of my problems wasn't a chemical inbalance but brought on by others situation. I have coped with some uncopable situations with a lot of tears and anger. It was always things that was out of my control, child addicted to drugs, narcissist parents Ect... To tell you the truth, I don't know how I have made it without meds. Also all the traits of an Empath hasn't helped.Maybe you should start over. Meditation, grounding , protection and a lot of cord cutting. And learn to set boundaries. I'm sure everything is feeling like a fresh wound right now. I think, for myself, I would start meditating if you don't already do that.If it is overwhelming, maybe it's not the right time to come off of them but I'm not a doctor, that was just a wondering thought.It's true, we have to learn "who's" emotions we are feeling, as Emaths but sometimes after knowing these arnt my feelings, they don't just go away.I would say take baby steps back into the spiritual world. Like you are an awaking Empath again. Your intuition is still there, it's just been sleeping for awhile. It may take sometime to get fully awake again but you will....if that's the path your wanting to walk down. I know this probably didn't help but I want you to know your strong and your strength is within. Cherish it.
Nea
@nea
last year
201 posts

Thank you, I am indeed starting over in a way. I know patience is key, but I guess after several years of being patient, it's starting to frustrate me. Thank you so much for your input. :)

karma
@karma
last year
159 posts

Hi :)

Sorry to be a pain, do you mean you quit your job three years ago and quit the meds 2 weeks ago?

Depending how long you were on them and at what dosage? Even if some symptoms disappear there are many (mild to moderate) symptomatics you wont instantly attribute to withdrawal - these can be both physical and mental - If you are feeling frustrated and a feeling of `lost in life`, confused at some things? (depending on severity) it may be you still need time to adjust.

Advice on how to handle life at present, go slow, take time to contemplate what you want to do - if possible? :)

Nea
@nea
last year
201 posts

Yes, I first started to get really sick 3 years ago, I officially quit my job a year later - and now it's been a couple of weeks since I quit my meds. Basically I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere on them, not getting worse and not getting better, and I really need to get better. It's one of those things - you can't stay sick forever or you're just gonna get worse because of a ton of reasons. Not being independent and having a stable income etc. is one of the great sources of depression and anxiety for me. The withdrawal symptoms have all but dissipated at this point. I do think I'll probably feel vulnerable for a while longer, both because I no longer am numbed by the meds, but also because my brain have to adjust to not being on them.

Not knowing what I'm supposed to do with my life is really a big anxiety inducer for me. I'm also not sure what I will be able to do without getting sick again. I'm hyper sensitive and I feel this looming feeling of needing to do something meaningful. The thought of doing a repetitive job makes me sink into a hole of depression and anxiety, and especially thinking about being stuck where I am for the rest of my life.

I'm in therapy, but my therapist have a hard time to grasp and accept how different I am - she always want to explain away or dismiss parts of my experience with the world. I know why it's hard for her, but it's not easy always dealing with her skepticism every session - she doesn't even understand she is doing it, I think.

I definitely need to time to adjust, but I'm not sure how long I've got - I feel like I need to figure out what I'm supposed to do.

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