New to this, and lost

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Sarah5
@sarah5
last year
1 posts
I'm just, lost. Looking back, I think maybe a side of me being different was always there, but I never really listened to it. Being that I always ignored my own emotions and drown everything out with loud insecurities and chaos, I just, never listened. But now, meditating, coping with my anxiety, listening to what I feel, I don't know how to word it, it's been different, I have been different, since the motorcycle accident. I began sobbing for no apparent reason, out of no where, while driving. A minute later, I found a man on the side of the road a ways from his bike. I prayed over him, but he died. Right there. And now, I can't be around more than a few ppl at a time. I feel feeling that are not mine. It happened again last week, crying for no reason, than an hour later I got a phone that a friend of mines nephew was just murdered. I feel lost. Confused. And unable to cope.
updated by @sarah5: 01/14/17 10:47:14AM
Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
Sounds like you have been though a lot. You said you are meditating, are you grounding when meditating? The things you have lived though is over whelming enough if you wasn't an Empath. A person dying as you was praying over him would be hard for anyone to accept, it would be for me. The the murder. I haven't lived though the things you have but you are going to have to learn a way to release those attachments. Maybe calling on your angels or guides to help you cut the cords that are binding you to all of this death around you. Bless your heart.It's hard to say why you are crying. Maybe someone's else's tears or maybe your way of dealing with greif. I cry too but usually feel better after a good cry. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
Ecila
@ecila
last year
898 posts

So sorry that you had to see the motorcycle accident, the death of the man and the the death of your friend's nephew. That would be enough reason to cause you to be tearful. Meditation can also bring feelings to the surface and make you tearful. You are probably going through something that will pass on its own after you have processed the emotions.

You might try a meditation on impermanence and death. The one I was taught involves thinking that:

"I could die in 1 year...11 months...10 months...." just keep counting down until you get to "one week...6 days...tomorrow...one minute...etc"

I did this for a week at a Buddhist center and left feeling very calm. It puts things into perspective. There are others on impermanence on Youtube but I don't know what they are like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqV5uWsdadU

I hope you feel better soon:)

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