Sorry to hear your journey is currently so difficult!
If you have not already - I'd suggest to give the Divine card blanche as to the amount, frequency, strength and extend of healing&help you receive for yourself, your bodies, and your life. For things to be as free off suffering as possible! Many spiritual people consciously, or subconsciously limit the amount of help they can receive by e.g. believing they have 1 guardian angel only (but some problems might need armies of angels to solve (who are available and more than happy to help, but we have to 'allow' it). It might still take some time to heal the gross of your problems, but at least you can be confident that everything, in terms of spiritual help, is being done, that can be done.
I have had 10-15 years of relative loneliness. Some of it self-imposed, as I had CFS with depression, and kept on not wanting to bring people down, so I stayed away. Most of that is healed now though (Vit D really helped, as well as realizing that I am an empath and asking for regular cleansing of my energies of empathically taken on negativities). Still only barely a handful of good friends at the mo, but I am not sure if I would have the time for more anyway. I do need a fair amount of time to myself to regenerate my energies on a regular basis, and get rid again of mostly client energies (masseur and healer here). I am pretty certain that most of my CFS, etc was actually outside energies, trying to push me out of London, the UK, and previously Germany. And perhaps asking that energies like that are being healed/ removed has helped shift things too.
What has helped me too is to realize that as individualized divine Spirit, I am whole - I do not need anyone or anything in the outside to feel whole and content. Sure I did some soul retrieval work, bits and pieces lost, stolen or foolishly given away over times/ lives(?), but I do not need a partner to feel 'whole'. That plus realizing that I have a lot of spiritual help. friends/ support! I do not always feel them, and I cannot really touch or hug them, but they are there! I.e. physical solitude, lack of humans in ones life, does not mean one has to be without company....
So nowadays I rarely feel lonely. And if I do it is usually on a Sat night. Which makes me pretty certain that it is lonely energy flying about, from people who stop 'running' on the weekend, get a bit of time to think and reflect and then feelings of loneliness and unhappiness surface (about their life, job, friends, family etc.)). And when I feel into such people I usually find that many, despite maybe an apparent great circle of friends, the perfect job etc. , are much more lonely than I ever was. I think a lot of that is that people are disconnected on a deep level. They currently cannot feel the 'ONENESS', whereas most empath can. Sure even for empaths the Oneness feeling is not always there, but if I remind myself of it, I can usually re-establish the feeling/ connection quite quickly. And that feeling is sooo much more nourishing than any amount of disconnected friends or partners in the outside....
Hang in there - the ride can admittedly be tough at times, but suffering is only ever temporary - Love and Happiness are eternal!!! And if we tell the Divine that we have had enough of a suffering experience on this planet, they'll do their utmost to make the rest of our time here more effortless and happy!!!! Plus I have accepted that I need to help and support a lot, for things to shift. At the moment with many relationships in my life the positive energy flow seems to mainly be from me to them, but I do get plenty of positive energy form Spirit to make up for it....
Love and Light!
Hi..I too am single without children.....I always felt the preassure of not being able to concieve as a great guilt in my younger days...my mother always asking...when are you going to provide me with grandchildren?....going thu fertility treatments...nothing...then even my ex telling me....there's nothing wrong with you why don't we have kids? In an accusing tone as if I was doing it on purpose....lol...the pressure and sense of failure is totally stupid....but I know what you mean...now divorced living alone....and after the initial depressions associated with that...I'm doing quite well....lol...I still feel lonely on occasion....except I'm not really alone. ..I get bored tho...so I think that's what makes up lonliness...I'm without a car at the moment so it greatly reduces my ability to go places....finding things to occupy you mind....keep it busy....my being empathic...my abilities ....give me that diversion. Have you thought about smudging? Clear your place of stale and unwanted energy?....that can help you tremendously.....severing the energy links and cords that are draining you...cleaning out all memories etc...it takes practice and time...but in the end it's worth the effort...there were a lot of energy links and cords that I found even from way back from my childhood that were draining my energy....I got rid of all those...some of your depressions may not be you but could be coming from the energy links and cords that are attaching you to other people...you could be picking up other peoples' depressions...I remember always saying to myself...things are NOT this bad...why am I feeling THIS bad?...discovered how to clear the energy cords and links to others and I feel so much better....people suffer through a lot of issues that don't even belong to them ...learning how to do this would help a great deal...
card blanche just means that you do not set any limit to the amount, frequency, strength, extend of help you receive. And if you still have any restricting believes, just tell your helpers to ignore them, protect you against them whilst they are still active, and help you get rid off them with time.... And do not worry, that does not mean that you'll have to turn into a Mother Theresa, nun or similar...:)
<3 I can really relate to so much of what you're dealing with, including PTSD (such a hard thing to overcome). I feel like a major misfit in society
But I think that on the other hand I haven't wanted relationships a lot of times because it's "too much" too feel, since I already feel a lot of emotions on a daily basis. I get so overwhelmed. On the other hand, loneliness is terrible.
I hope that you find more people in your life who are more kind-hearted and understanding. We all need people like that!
People put too much value on who you are married to and if you have kids. Why can't value be put on the skills, talents, and what you have to offer as a person? Oh, that's right-only empaths understand these things. In a corrupt world of constantly trying to push the soul and spirit down, making you work too much, most people are not people any more. They have lost themselves...so how is it an insult not to be liked by people who are not even people?! Just do your thing, find true purpose-maybe even find your life path number-and dig deep. Don't take things at face value-find the true meaning of your existance and your life purpose. Too many distractions from those who are not on a higher spirtual plane is useless. They are either meant to understand us, or move on and find your own people. Those who get you. I have literally had to tell people to F***ck off because I didn't want them in my life. They were hurting more than helping. You might have noticed that the world is crazy right now b/c most are not listening to their inner world (b/c it's chaotic) and it shows up in their outside world.They are the ones who asked for it-why I believe an apolalypse is coming-to show us all what is so wrong with this world-and how it needs to be fixed. Whenever there is an imbalance in life, it can't last forever. Something has to give. I think a new world is coming-like it says in that book many don't understand-"A new heaven/s and a new earth" will come about one day because we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. The krs channel on u-tube describes something like an ascension. I believe he is talking about a spiritual understanding of who we are and to not just focus on the physical (like most people do)
I know exactly what you mean by takers-espec. if your own family is-because then that is what we will attract. Kids learn that it is okay to be a taker, or to be taken advantage of emotionally and then attract it into their life as an adult. until we learn the lesson of being the change we want to see, or maybe breaking a family cycle or bond that was not ours to bear, patterns tend to keep repeating. I agree that life is short-so we should always just find our own people and build and uplift what we each have to offer.
exactly. I know that stare others have given me-like they are saying "You are differeant" I don't get you" when it really bothers them that they are seeing a darkness in themselves we bring out in them-and they do NOT understand it. Whatever people don't understand, they are afraid of-then put all the blame on what they are afraid of becuause "Getting the beam out of their own eye before taking the speck out of someone elses" is incomprehensible to them-and how dare we point the finger at them, else the beam show them how dark they really are! haha!
Holy cow, my mom is a narcissist. And when I go to her house, I leave physically sick. My husband was the one who brought it to my attention. Unfortunately I will be staying there for 5 or 6 days around the 4th and I'm dreading it. I have to cook what she wants me to cook for everyone, and it usually is very unhealthy. She actually gets mad at me. She sent me a letter yesterday telling me I was too controlling and to loosen up when I get there, LOL! She is getting older though, and I'm feeling guilty about keeping the kids away from her.- mostly to protect them.
I'm so sorry you are feeling lonely. Let me tell you something, I was alone for 39 years. I got married at 39 and ended up having a baby 7 months later (she was two months early). Quit worrying about what other people think. Believe me, you can feel totally alone even if you have tons of friends and spouse and kids. I didn't realize that until I got married. I felt like something was wrong with me, that noone wanted me. Then right before I met my husband I decided to just accept me for who I am, move on with my life, I started a new career and decided that I would either foster or adopt children. Learn to accept yourself. I embrace my weirdness now and am much happier. Not saying that you are weird, but we are all wired differently than "normal" people.
Meditation is great for healing oneself, trying to change your thought patterns - keep a journal, except instead of describing all the bad things that happened to you, challenge yourself to find beautiful things every day. This can be as simple as a ray of light beaming through a cloud or the flight of a bird or a single blade of grass in all it's wonderment. There are great ideas posted in reply to your post, so you have a lot of things to choose from.
I have fought depression all my life, and I will not let it win. You are fighting too, you posted about it on here - keep up the good fight!
Peace and Love,
Thanks Karen, All I have is white sage for smudging. I was going to take black tourmaline to absorb the energy, but now I think about it the kids act strange after we leave. I think it affects them too. My mom would kill me if she caught me spraying anything in her house. I try really really hard not to upset her. I may make a trip to our metaphysical store before we leave and see if I can get some supplies. Thanks so much for the tips!!! Rhonda
Your welcome...Lol...she won't really notice water...if she goes out and you stay behind...take that opportunity. ...she probably won't notice the difference....but you sure will...and do take your crystals...you can soak them in water with a bit of water from the spray bottle...I fill a large bowl and pour a bit from the bottle and let em soak a bit...then just leave them under the faucet under a small stream of running water...it cleanses the negative energy very well...I do that when the energy they're absorbing is pretty bad....the trick is to work around the blockages which in this case is your mom....your important too...and shouldn't be afraid to take care of your needs...but I do understand what you mean as my mom and I had our issues... her with the temper over everything...I understand being scared of your mother....lol