lonely

To post a reply, login or signup

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

its very hard to be alone, I get very tired of people saying why i'm single, why am i alone and believe me it hurts, its like if you don't have children or aren't married, something is wrong with you.

I have been self healing for the past few months, had ptsd among other things.

I live alone and the pain of loneliness hurts very deep, I find it hard to motivate myself and I need to really push myself out in getting a job, work.

I often feel society thinks i'm a misfit.

i've become withdrawn and shy more recently and stuck in my own head. I crave friendship and i've turned all my old friends away , for ignoring them.

I've been going through so many healing crisis lately, just got to go through them hoping to god, i make it through, and not feeling so suicidal and alone.

Thank for this site, i feel so much better to offload! can't afford counselling!


updated by @h1234: 01/09/17 12:55:05AM
RealFaction
@realfaction
last year
162 posts

I know exactly how you feel. Off and on i've fought depression and all of this. I would think I'm some sort of monster but not now, mostly I would be insecure with who I am, but now I am content with who I am as a person, just find it hard to make friends unless I talk to them online first, but since I basically live alone and see no one, it's difficult. I know the pain. I'm guessing you're an Empath? Being an Empath definitely makes the pain worse, as we're more sensitive to it.

It's that need of wanting to fulfill your goals and your emotions, I know that feeling. I haven't turned all my friends away but some perhaps, a lot of them got busy and seem to forget I exist, so I know the feeling. I'm sorry to hear that though. This is a good community to turn to, lots of kind people with encouraging words here.

Sometimes I even have a hard time going out alone doing fun things by myself. Online dating sites can sometimes help, or social sites, but not always. I tend to find mostly bad people, with some exceptions. I hope you're able to seek peace because sometimes, even I myself find it hard. It is hard to approach people and get to know them for me myself. I too struggle with some of this. I can't find a job either.

Hang in there, best thing to do is what you're doing right now which is posting on this site to ask for help, and maybe try to find a local club, but those aren't easy to find. Maybe start a club of something you really like. You seem like a lovely person, don't give up hope yet. It does take a lot of support and some time to get through this. :)

Peace and love,
John

Reckless
@reckless
last year
117 posts
I live alone as well. Lost all my friends and family to jealousy. I could not take it anymore. I don't regret it.Single as well. When I was younger I could not attract a woman, pl uh s I had no person to ever give me advice or anything. I have a dad and male family and had male friends, but never any advice, but always put down for failing.I grew up alone. I had siblings but always isolated. I was used by people I thought were my friends. When I became too attractive that is when they stopped talking to me. I don't even think I am an attractive person but I've had women approach them to request me.My family turned their backs to me a while ago. When I became successful they all pretended to care and be there for me. When I lost it all they were against me everyday of the week. They made life absolute hell. To argue everyday over something so small.Now I live alone. I do not want to be around anyone. I am very happy. I don't answer to anyone and I do what I want at anytime.People from my last look to become friends and have some relationship with me now, but I can see through that. When at my worst they turned their backs to me with no plans of ever helping or even liking me. Now I am constantly surrounded by actors and actresses so that they can manipulate and lie to get something. I had already agreed I'd be halfway there for them this year since next year I will not be in their sight. This is the final year in which they will see me, and this is the year in which I will revive every part of my life.Losing my twin flame hurt me everyday. Everyday. After her I was able to attract women but it made no difference. I was just hurt. I found one soul mate that I dreamed of. She healed me but I am still in pain. It is not close to what it was before her, but still there.My family and old "friends" tried to bring things back together but I just won't allow it.I lost everything that was important to me, including my twin flame. I think of her each and everyday. I was hurt because she left but now I am fine. I realize not everyone has someone they can run to. Some of us are alone and we are going to have to live with that. I have no problem being alone. At least I no longer have to be responsible nor solve a problem that is not mine. I was tired anyway. Guess I was waiting.I don't regret walking away from anyone. At first I felt alone and like a failure. After meeting others that have been alone for so long, and hearing about their lives, I know things won't be bad at all. I don't need a kid and a wife to feel complete. Maybe one day I'll have that but for now I'm satisfied with myself.
Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
last year
373 posts

Sorry to hear your journey is currently so difficult!

If you have not already - I'd suggest to give the Divine card blanche as to the amount, frequency, strength and extend of healing&help you receive for yourself, your bodies, and your life. For things to be as free off suffering as possible! Many spiritual people consciously, or subconsciously limit the amount of help they can receive by e.g. believing they have 1 guardian angel only (but some problems might need armies of angels to solve (who are available and more than happy to help, but we have to 'allow' it). It might still take some time to heal the gross of your problems, but at least you can be confident that everything, in terms of spiritual help, is being done, that can be done.

I have had 10-15 years of relative loneliness. Some of it self-imposed, as I had CFS with depression, and kept on not wanting to bring people down, so I stayed away. Most of that is healed now though (Vit D really helped, as well as realizing that I am an empath and asking for regular cleansing of my energies of empathically taken on negativities). Still only barely a handful of good friends at the mo, but I am not sure if I would have the time for more anyway. I do need a fair amount of time to myself to regenerate my energies on a regular basis, and get rid again of mostly client energies (masseur and healer here). I am pretty certain that most of my CFS, etc was actually outside energies, trying to push me out of London, the UK, and previously Germany. And perhaps asking that energies like that are being healed/ removed has helped shift things too.

What has helped me too is to realize that as individualized divine Spirit, I am whole - I do not need anyone or anything in the outside to feel whole and content. Sure I did some soul retrieval work, bits and pieces lost, stolen or foolishly given away over times/ lives(?), but I do not need a partner to feel 'whole'. That plus realizing that I have a lot of spiritual help. friends/ support! I do not always feel them, and I cannot really touch or hug them, but they are there! I.e. physical solitude, lack of humans in ones life, does not mean one has to be without company....

So nowadays I rarely feel lonely. And if I do it is usually on a Sat night. Which makes me pretty certain that it is lonely energy flying about, from people who stop 'running' on the weekend, get a bit of time to think and reflect and then feelings of loneliness and unhappiness surface (about their life, job, friends, family etc.)). And when I feel into such people I usually find that many, despite maybe an apparent great circle of friends, the perfect job etc. , are much more lonely than I ever was. I think a lot of that is that people are disconnected on a deep level. They currently cannot feel the 'ONENESS', whereas most empath can. Sure even for empaths the Oneness feeling is not always there, but if I remind myself of it, I can usually re-establish the feeling/ connection quite quickly. And that feeling is sooo much more nourishing than any amount of disconnected friends or partners in the outside....

Hang in there - the ride can admittedly be tough at times, but suffering is only ever temporary - Love and Happiness are eternal!!! And if we tell the Divine that we have had enough of a suffering experience on this planet, they'll do their utmost to make the rest of our time here more effortless and happy!!!! Plus I have accepted that I need to help and support a lot, for things to shift. At the moment with many relationships in my life the positive energy flow seems to mainly be from me to them, but I do get plenty of positive energy form Spirit to make up for it....

Love and Light!

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
787 posts

Hi..I too am single without children.....I always felt the preassure of not being able to concieve as a great guilt in my younger days...my mother always asking...when are you going to provide me with grandchildren?....going thu fertility treatments...nothing...then even my ex telling me....there's nothing wrong with you why don't we have kids? In an accusing tone as if I was doing it on purpose....lol...the pressure and sense of failure is totally stupid....but I know what you mean...now divorced living alone....and after the initial depressions associated with that...I'm doing quite well....lol...I still feel lonely on occasion....except I'm not really alone. ..I get bored tho...so I think that's what makes up lonliness...I'm without a car at the moment so it greatly reduces my ability to go places....finding things to occupy you mind....keep it busy....my being empathic...my abilities ....give me that diversion. Have you thought about smudging? Clear your place of stale and unwanted energy?....that can help you tremendously.....severing the energy links and cords that are draining you...cleaning out all memories etc...it takes practice and time...but in the end it's worth the effort...there were a lot of energy links and cords that I found even from way back from my childhood that were draining my energy....I got rid of all those...some of your depressions may not be you but could be coming from the energy links and cords that are attaching you to other people...you could be picking up other peoples' depressions...I remember always saying to myself...things are NOT this bad...why am I feeling THIS bad?...discovered how to clear the energy cords and links to others and I feel so much better....people suffer through a lot of issues that don't even belong to them ...learning how to do this would help a great deal...

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

Thanks Guys,

I think all these depressive, reclusive feelings come from my healing crisis, reiki, inner spiritual work and my body is going through a purification process, yes I'm very much an empath, a newly discovered one, explains so much of my suffering!!

Good- Not heard of the Divine card blanche, could you explain this more?, as I've only just found out I'm an empath and on a road to spiritual awakening, hence all the excruciating loneliness.

I've only just discovered angels, I'm a christian, too,thou, to be honest, i don't read my bible much or have a chat to God as much as i used to, so, i'm quite a complex creature, but i'm drawn towards things now i never considered. In the last three months, I've been reading and buying crystals, empath shielding and grounding and coming here to talk to you lovely people.

I have always known loneliness and emptiness as a kind of familar but unwanted friend, its like the birthmark ive had on my left leg since i was born, I know its there, its not pretty, but I've accepted it.

However, the loneliness i feel lately, is due to the healing crisis i've been dealing with, its like a spirtual road, i'm walking all alone, its like I intensely feel its my journey and my jorney only to walk. I

know i need to let others in, that has always been my biggest issue, not reaching out and not wanting to be a burden and bring people down, i feel its my role for others to dump their issues on me, but i'm strong for them, however, when im feeling vulnerable and deeply alone, who do i ring, call , hug, cuddle reach out to, who gets me, who listens to when i cry myself to sleep??

Being alone has taught me to depend upon me, i realise we all are born alone and we die alone, if others want to join me on my life journey they can, i know too, people will dissappoint me, i used to let that worry me, now i know when i'm defriended off facebook, they are friends no longer serving a purpose in my life.

I think the Divine steps in to keep the toxic people away or our angels are protecting us and bringing friends to us for our higher good.

Saturday nights can be tough, unless i've planned ahead- another bad issue, I proscrasinate so much, forget to plan ahead and bingo! i'm home alone on a sat evening, my own fault, self-imposed!!

How can we connect as people?, how we be sure sure of connecting to the 'right' people,? do any of you refuse to attend certain meet up groups thinking you may be harmed by negative or wrong people, i do.

I'm generally a happy being, with lots of love to give, its just, its hard to see others getting ahead , having families, I do question, why my life plan seems so out of sync with others.

Karen-

Yes i've got my sage and have tried smudging, I'm also without a car, I don't drive, even thou been trying to drive since 17,anyone got any tips on passing their test! Been told i'm a good driver, but get so insecure and nervous!! I get the children thing, it makes it harder, when like me you work with children or when i did, past tense!

Reckless- To be satisfied with yourself is great! I'm getting there, its a batttle thou!

Real- I understand about having goals and ambitions, but having these intense emotions that can make it hard to just go for it, that's very me. Also, I've started a meetup group in my area, i've met some nice people, early days, i do push myself out, it takes huge courage, when your alone, as noone is saying 'go on do it!' you have to motivate and be your own life coach.

Love and peace

Hayley

Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
last year
373 posts

card blanche just means that you do not set any limit to the amount, frequency, strength, extend of help you receive. And if you still have any restricting believes, just tell your helpers to ignore them, protect you against them whilst they are still active, and help you get rid off them with time.... And do not worry, that does not mean that you'll have to turn into a Mother Theresa, nun or similar...:)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
last year
230 posts

<3 I can really relate to so much of what you're dealing with, including PTSD (such a hard thing to overcome). I feel like a major misfit in society :)

But I think that on the other hand I haven't wanted relationships a lot of times because it's "too much" too feel, since I already feel a lot of emotions on a daily basis. I get so overwhelmed. On the other hand, loneliness is terrible.

I hope that you find more people in your life who are more kind-hearted and understanding. We all need people like that!

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

I have a feeling that growing up with a dysfunctional , narcistic mother who can't show love may be a factor, i wonder if this makes a difference in finding love?

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

Its odd but when I go back to my parent's house, there is such a huge tidal wave of sadness in the air, and negative energy, its like a huge tidal wave of strong emotion, i can't bear to be in the house too long, its so powerful. My home is relatively light in energy after cleansing it and there is a lightness, but if i stay in my parent's house, i feel pysiacally sick, i have to run from the house.

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
787 posts
Hi...it's not so strange...houses need to be aired out...your parents may have issues they haven't resolved so they carry that negative energy...and fill up the house with it when they're there...there may also be spirit in the house that need a bit of help in cleansing their own energy....if your parents don't cleanse the house of accumulated negative energy...then it just sits there....as an empath I require energy circulation...so...what I usually do is carry ceder with me ...in places where I feel heavy energy i'll sprinkle the ceder in cornered....you can sprinkle it up their walk...across the door way...and anywhere in the house where it feels heaviest....you can also make a spray with ceder...a few leaves of white sage and sweetgrass....put it all in a spray bottle with water and spray the house with it when you go visit....that way you can help your parents and yourself so that your visits are more comfortable....
h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

Thanks Karen,

It takes me a few days just to rid myself of the heaviness that comes in the house, i try to make excuses to not stay over, as its so oppressive. i'll try the cedar, sweetgrass, sage, do you smudge yourself when you get home if mixing with negative vibes.where do you buy all those things from, ebay?

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
787 posts
If I know i'm going to a place that bothers me...I smudge before...an extra layer of protection....I buy here in the city....there's a place I sometimes pick my sage...but there are places here in the cit I buy...if I can i'll pick my own....but I do purchase from stores that carry it ..and yes you can buy it on line...you should have shops in your area that would sell it...
Ruby Fox
@ruby-fox
last year
64 posts

People put too much value on who you are married to and if you have kids. Why can't value be put on the skills, talents, and what you have to offer as a person? Oh, that's right-only empaths understand these things. In a corrupt world of constantly trying to push the soul and spirit down, making you work too much, most people are not people any more. They have lost themselves...so how is it an insult not to be liked by people who are not even people?! Just do your thing, find true purpose-maybe even find your life path number-and dig deep. Don't take things at face value-find the true meaning of your existance and your life purpose. Too many distractions from those who are not on a higher spirtual plane is useless. They are either meant to understand us, or move on and find your own people. Those who get you. I have literally had to tell people to F***ck off because I didn't want them in my life. They were hurting more than helping. You might have noticed that the world is crazy right now b/c most are not listening to their inner world (b/c it's chaotic) and it shows up in their outside world.They are the ones who asked for it-why I believe an apolalypse is coming-to show us all what is so wrong with this world-and how it needs to be fixed. Whenever there is an imbalance in life, it can't last forever. Something has to give. I think a new world is coming-like it says in that book many don't understand-"A new heaven/s and a new earth" will come about one day because we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. The krs channel on u-tube describes something like an ascension. I believe he is talking about a spiritual understanding of who we are and to not just focus on the physical (like most people do)

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

it does get very wearing, I go on holiday and even a foreigner comes up and says why aren't you married, have you been engaged? even my christian friend, she's married with a son, said that she knows another lady who is ashamed that her daughter is 30 and not found anyone, and respected my friend as she was married, its like your second class if your single. I have a lot to offer, but people can't believe I'm single , they think I'm deeply unhappy and lonely. i am lonely, but no need for people to be so nosy or cruel. people can f off, i'm defending some people on Facebook as they are smug marrieds and its boring me senseless!!

Karolina
@karolina
last year
4 posts
I could relate so so much to all of what you have written in your post, in fact I wrote a similar thread a while back on loneliness. Loneliness is something that I have known for much of my life due to drawing the completely wrong people into my life. I tend to have drawn friends and relationships who were extremely narcissistic or else just constantly wanted to dump on me and were nowhere to be found when I wanted a friend in turn. The marriage and children thing is also something i can relate to. Just last week I had a work colleague tell me that I should think about being out there meeting someone (I have just come out of an abusive relationship so its the furthest thing from my mind right now) and that if I don't have children 'who will care for me in old age'?? These ignorant attitudes are really annoying. As someone else posted here, I think society has forgotten to value people for who they actually are instead of whether they are married with children or what they may do for a living.
h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

I've had a spiritual awakening lately, i relate and a friend who used me in the past, is now bitching behind other peoples back. i have had no choice but to befriend the users, its not easy but i suddenly realised life is too short too have the takers, users, bitches and gossips, I'm surrounding myself with lovely, happy positive people who aren't jealous, of who has what, anyone else fed up , female friends are the worse, women seem to be the worse, jealous of who has this, i prefer male company or older more mature women, gets tiring.

Ruby Fox
@ruby-fox
last year
64 posts

For me, Facebook is a joke, and the cia and fbi use it to track people anyway. Have you heard of seen.life? There people are much better on there.

Ruby Fox
@ruby-fox
last year
64 posts

I know exactly what you mean by takers-espec. if your own family is-because then that is what we will attract. Kids learn that it is okay to be a taker, or to be taken advantage of emotionally and then attract it into their life as an adult. until we learn the lesson of being the change we want to see, or maybe breaking a family cycle or bond that was not ours to bear, patterns tend to keep repeating. I agree that life is short-so we should always just find our own people and build and uplift what we each have to offer.

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

facebook is a massive joke for materialistic people to show off what they have, haven't, people get jealous if you have more than them, more luck, more this, its boring, it weary and I've drifted from anyone who is jealous about me, people are driven by greed and selfishness. also i think as empaths, become we are generally easygoing, unselfish people, people want to test us to see if we'll react to them, and they are often the selfish ones, but blame us as we are like mirrors, we expose their darkness, most of the people in my life who hated me, were cruel to me were the selfish takers, because i provided a good lovely mirror they couldn't stand their reflection in me, I'm allowing all the chords to be cut with the evil people, I'm concentrating on my needs now, so everyone else, by life is just as important , non empaths put themselves first, well so am i now !!

Ruby Fox
@ruby-fox
last year
64 posts

exactly. I know that stare others have given me-like they are saying "You are differeant" I don't get you" when it really bothers them that they are seeing a darkness in themselves we bring out in them-and they do NOT understand it. Whatever people don't understand, they are afraid of-then put all the blame on what they are afraid of becuause "Getting the beam out of their own eye before taking the speck out of someone elses" is incomprehensible to them-and how dare we point the finger at them, else the beam show them how dark they really are! haha!

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

Finding out I was an empath recently has been an eye opener, now when i get people being rude, nasty, i say to myself, let it wash over me, its there issues, let their negative, moaning, whining energies drain through me, through the ground. I

'm writing this post, as I have caught up with a friend, he has a pessimistic view on life, i know he often is not really listening to what I'm saying, he won't listen to my views, concerns, its all about me me me, i think after pouring his crap at me for about 30 minutes, he said by the way how are you doing? I've had ptsd for a trauma that happened a year ago, which ill keep to myself, anyway, of course it hurts when i hear a friend bitching behind my back, but i think as an empath, its quite fun we can read people, it gives us huge power and can protect us from the evil ones. today, I cut what i thought was a good friend off facebook and out of my life, i feel sad, but I'm starting a new chapter of my life, new friends, new happiness, new confidence, new strength and if people aren't coming up with me, I'm not worried, i'll attract positive people and fight to change the patterns, i.e from a negative mother and dysfunctional pattern. NO MORE NARCISSITS, TAKERS, USERS, MANIPULATORS, I CLEANSE THEM ALL OUT!1

4peace
@4peace
last year
187 posts

Holy cow, my mom is a narcissist. And when I go to her house, I leave physically sick. My husband was the one who brought it to my attention. Unfortunately I will be staying there for 5 or 6 days around the 4th and I'm dreading it. I have to cook what she wants me to cook for everyone, and it usually is very unhealthy. She actually gets mad at me. She sent me a letter yesterday telling me I was too controlling and to loosen up when I get there, LOL! She is getting older though, and I'm feeling guilty about keeping the kids away from her.- mostly to protect them.

4peace
@4peace
last year
187 posts

I'm so sorry you are feeling lonely. Let me tell you something, I was alone for 39 years. I got married at 39 and ended up having a baby 7 months later (she was two months early). Quit worrying about what other people think. Believe me, you can feel totally alone even if you have tons of friends and spouse and kids. I didn't realize that until I got married. I felt like something was wrong with me, that noone wanted me. Then right before I met my husband I decided to just accept me for who I am, move on with my life, I started a new career and decided that I would either foster or adopt children. Learn to accept yourself. I embrace my weirdness now and am much happier. :) Not saying that you are weird, but we are all wired differently than "normal" people.

Meditation is great for healing oneself, trying to change your thought patterns - keep a journal, except instead of describing all the bad things that happened to you, challenge yourself to find beautiful things every day. This can be as simple as a ray of light beaming through a cloud or the flight of a bird or a single blade of grass in all it's wonderment. There are great ideas posted in reply to your post, so you have a lot of things to choose from.

I have fought depression all my life, and I will not let it win. You are fighting too, you posted about it on here - keep up the good fight!

Peace and Love,

Rhonda

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
787 posts
Hi 4peace...Well...things you can do while your in your mom's house....if you have the ceder...white sage and sweetgrass. ..and a spray bottle...put those herbs in with hot or cold filtered or spring water...let steep for a bit...altho..if using hot water then put in a glass container 1st let steep and cool...then put in a spray bottle spray round your mom's house....every room if you can...round windows and doors. ..and do that on a regular basis until you leave...you can spray your room when ever you want...that way you can take a bit of control over the sick energy.....if you can get your hands on ceder you can sprinkle it round your room...make a pouch with cotton fabric wrapped with hemp....carry it with you in your pocket...and under your pillow...this will help filter that energy...I used to carry crystals...but I needed so many and they all wanted to come with me I couldn't carry it all...lol...so carrying the pouch of ceder white sage and sweetgrass was a LOT lighter....lol...
4peace
@4peace
last year
187 posts

Thanks Karen, All I have is white sage for smudging. I was going to take black tourmaline to absorb the energy, but now I think about it the kids act strange after we leave. I think it affects them too. My mom would kill me if she caught me spraying anything in her house. I try really really hard not to upset her. I may make a trip to our metaphysical store before we leave and see if I can get some supplies. Thanks so much for the tips!!! Rhonda

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
787 posts

Your welcome...Lol...she won't really notice water...if she goes out and you stay behind...take that opportunity. ...she probably won't notice the difference....but you sure will...and do take your crystals...you can soak them in water with a bit of water from the spray bottle...I fill a large bowl and pour a bit from the bottle and let em soak a bit...then just leave them under the faucet under a small stream of running water...it cleanses the negative energy very well...I do that when the energy they're absorbing is pretty bad....the trick is to work around the blockages which in this case is your mom....your important too...and shouldn't be afraid to take care of your needs...but I do understand what you mean as my mom and I had our issues... her with the temper over everything...I understand being scared of your mother....lol

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

I really think you people are lovely, this forum keeps me sane, when I've got none to talk to, I will take on board how to cope with the loneliness and know even amongst friends, family, we can feel lonely. It fills me with hope that if i learn to love myself wholly, a husband will come along so thank you:)

I suddenly think its important to learn to say NO to others, as I'm getting stronger each day, I realise its up to me and only me to put boundaries in place, I used to just let things people said go, as it was easier than speaking up, and dealing with their reaction, I need to know what tools to use to come back and stand my ground. For example when a stranger, friend, starts to moan, wine become negative, I've tried laughing and saying, right enough of this doom and gloom, lets talk about something else.

I realise as I'm growing, i came from a very negative mother, so my dad and i used to say nothing as she was dominant, controlling and her mood swings bad, I think i had unhealthy boundaries growing up, i was bullied at school and even a teacher said i must learn to be assertive, assertiveness empaths is the key!!

love and peace empath friends

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book