Ripped apart .

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Keltybug
@keltybug
last year
21 posts

I so need you guys right now. I have shared that I have PTSD. Have been in a depression for months now... my life is falling apart, but eventually that will get better, right now I feel defeated, but it;s only feelings, right?

I am on a PTSD forum that helps me so much, but it seems tho I have not shared that I am an Empath... others pick up something from me... and I get personal messages... for the most part.. I do ok with my caring and support, but received one today that has ripped me apart. I am shaking, feel a panic attack right under the surface, and desperately need to get centered...

I take breaks from this forum because I am already Impaired, so try not to overload myself, but I also go there for support for myself... this is different.. this is where we get lost in the pain and only other empaths understand.

Please give me some suggestions on how to get myself centered... anything to read that would help me to understand myself right now... My pain for this woman is larger than I am, more than I can process. I want to be present for her, but I also have to find myself a safe place to work from with her.. She does not know I am an empath, will not share that with her, as I don't share this with this group at all...

I have tried to be in nature which usually grounds me... but I am totally on overload... any suggestions or experiences would be hugely appreciated.... Thanks in advance... and thank you for providing a safe place for me to share and ask for help. Namaste


updated by @keltybug: 04/17/17 07:12:58AM
Rosie333
@rosie333
last year
20 posts

Dear Kellybug

A great book to read is a book called Hope by Helen Cushing (Ahimsa) this book is specifically dedicated to people who have undergone trauma and offers simple yet effective strategies from certain yoga excercises to specific meditative practises proven to be effective in helping people with PSTD.

Much Love and Light to You :)

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
I will not lie, I have no idea what you are going though with PSTD! If meditation isn't helping you may try music. Sometimes I have to listen to some soft music before I meditate to calm my self down. I, myself, listen to soft, Celtic music. It's kinda of magical sounding and it calms me. My word of advice. Until you get back in control...do not check your messages! If they need you real bad, they will find a way to get to you. Take care of yourself and ...breath. I am sending you blessings.
Keltybug
@keltybug
last year
21 posts

Thank you !! I will find it. Thanks for taking your time to answer.

Keltybug
@keltybug
last year
21 posts

As a rule Rene', I monitor myself regularly... This one just slapped me down. I am already depressed. Chronic, so I have simply learned to live with it... but listening to music is a great idea... it will help me to get calm, then meditate, and not get upset with myself because I can't get quite... great suggestion. thanks for taking your time to answer.

Keltybug
@keltybug
last year
21 posts

I will check this out.. I have already gone thru the myriad trauma healing. But with Fathers day coming up, and an anniversary of sorts, in the PTSD world.... I have that going on... so was blindsided today. Thank you for taking the time to answer.

karma
@karma
last year
159 posts

Hi Kettybug :)

If you are struggling with your own circumstances at present it is not a selfish thing to give yourself some distance.

Many of us here are conflictive with what we believe we must do as empaths as a means to `heal` others and we very often neglect ourselves in the process - This in turn serves no one because the energies bouncing around become a lot more intense and inevitably you will suffer.

I can see you already know this saying you have to find a safe place in which to work from with this lady- This is a problem though hon. You have identified yourself as a healer in which to work with her and have already burdened yourself as someone with the must to (I am sure many of us here have and, still do - hence the ongoing conflict of us all)

This lady I can imagine has many issues in which you have said has `ripped you apart`- This is dangerous ground because you are opening yourself to someone else`s traumas that can indeed become your own.

It took me a year to identify I was with someone else`s energies/thought processes, it took me months to recover via cutting all ties in deep meditation - even now I have had twinges of a connection still.

As empaths there is a very profound need to want to do what is right for others but, empathy is about you foremost - The who and what you are - It is not about healing everyone that unleashes their burdens upon you - On the contrary many of us here will admit we will at times run a mile because we know too much is too much. This is not an `un-empathic` thing to do because we are not superheroes :)

You say yourself you take breaks because it is an overload - Please take this hint as a need to take care of yourself.

- You have to see it from the angle - If you knew someone was in distress, would you unleash all your burdens upon them? - By this I do not mean you are allowing others to unleash upon you. I am saying you are allowing yourself to unleash upon you too - Its like an attack on the self - you would not treat others this way but, its okay to treat yourself this way...

It is not. You deserve to give the love and kindness to yourself that you offer everyone else (I think this is where we differ from many - we see a duty to heal pain from others but, never our own)

You say/ask, `I feel defeated but, its only feelings right?`

- Feelings are the absolute everything of who you are, without emotion you would be a zombie robot..... Feelings are everything that you are and shape your whole life around you - The way you are and how you are will reflect back upon you. - If there is anyone upon this earth you need heal it is yourself - once in a state of this you will be ready to heal others :)

Shaking with a panic attack is a sign to at least distance yourself from any external sources at present. I honestly believe the only way to centre yourself here is to focus on you :)

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
last year
726 posts
Try the book The Power of Now by Echart Tolle. Another one by him is A New Earth. They both are very good reads and helped me deal with my chronic depression...which stems from both PTSD and a constant barrage of other people's energy.Shine on...
Keltybug
@keltybug
last year
21 posts

Thank you all for the replies.. just knowing there are others who understand helps.

Just from asking for help I let go of some of the energy that had me tailspinning. Taking all suggestions and seeing what fits..

I have read the Power of Now... and A New Earth. both are very good reads and have helped me... when I get hit in that 'spot', everything I know to be true shatters... no , not shatters, gets drowned out by all the noise of chaos. I am still intact...

After reading everyones very caring responses, and applying what I know to do, I could feel it retreat. I could feel my energy coming back... thank each of you from my heart for taking time to care. Namaste !

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
last year
726 posts
I am glad you are feeling better :) I go back to those books and read the different sections that apply to my current plights quite often. It helps when I am in a bad place....you know what I mean ;)
Sarah
@sarah
last year
386 posts

I've got PTSD, too. It sucks, but it sounds like you are in the worst part of it. The initial stuff fades after a while. Really, I think therapy and sometimes meds can be a big help to get back in balance to be able to deal with the effects of it all. I wish there was a simpler way--especially since a lot of us who have it, have it because of the actions of others. It feels not fair. I hope you get some relief soon. Hugs, friend!

Keltybug
@keltybug
last year
21 posts

Thanks Sara and Cat Whisperer... I have be

Bigg Hoss
@bigg-hoss
last year
36 posts

I know the feeling and it eats me alive some days to the point living really is a drain it feels and it manifests in physical ways of various kinds and can even feel painful.... I think a shower as hot as you can stand it is wonderful and wash with a soap or shampoo that has a really pleasant smell. Treat it like a walking meditation kind of just let all the worries and such go in one side and out the other in your consciousness and picture yourself washing it away. Also it sounds silly and is sort of an escape so it can be harmful if you become addicted to it.... But playing a video game with a light fun goofy sort of design is cool. It helps to take my mind off the dwelling if it is a game I love. Also of course there is normal meditations as well as grounding and cleansing. Maybe get some crystals to aid you if you don't have any. Also as goofy as it sounds it impacts me deeply to watch anything funny on youtube for example like puppies and cats and animals and such doing silly or cute things..... It really helps to lighten the load so to speak. If you have a dog I recommend just hugging the dog and thinking of the unconditional love and energy you have together and just rub and pet the animal and close your eyes and picture your energies cleaning each other up with love. I know it also sounds crazy LOL But gosh... It works wonders for me... My dog really is like a battery of love for me he is amazing and just takes my negative energy from me like a filter and it seems to bother him not all.... He actually seems to love it when we hang and love on him .... Hope some of this can help you in some way in the future......I am sorry you felt bad :( I will send good vibes your way :)

dariasdouble212
@dariasdouble212
last year
55 posts

Lego video games! I love smashing objects to bits!

Visitor
@visitor
last year
303 posts

I have major depression, anxiety, and probably mild PTSD. All I can say is you have to fight it with everything you have. There's no silver bullet. I am doing the following: 1) cut toxic people out of my life, even a family member, 2) take medication, 3) take numerous vitamin and mineral supplements to balance my mood, 4) I've quit jobs that made me depressed or killed my self-esteem, 5) avoid alcohol 99% of the time, 6) get up early and go to bed early, 7) own pets, 8) try to avoid sugar (very difficult), 9) meditation and grounding exercises, 10) clearing the clutter out of my house and yard, gradually because there's a ton of it, 11) never skipping meals, 12) moved to small, rural town. Everything helps a little but nothing does the entire job by itself.

Nature doesn't always ground me. Sometimes it makes me fearful; I believe I'm picking up the emotions of the wild animals hiding in the area. I don't know. I like to be surrounded by open space and wildness but not right in the middle of it, as in camping.

P.S. It's not "only feelings". Feelings are things, objects even. They have a presence in your body, the same as if you'd swallowed a rock, or worse.

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