Ending up alone
updated by @karolina: 01/12/17 02:13:08AM
I know what you mean about this fear of being alone. I have really been going through this myself. As an Empath, we see into others so easily but it is easy to forget that not everyone has the ability to do this. I believe that this is why I have had some tough relationships and why I am in a place of solitude right now. There are times when I enjoy my solitude. There are times when I have to have it just to recharge and clear things out. But life is very special and our experiences are very special and I do have a desire to have that right person to share it with. That is a fear that haunts me sometimes, not being able to find that right symbiotic relationship but I refuse to give up hope. I believe that God wants us to be happy and fulfilled and be with others in order to give and receive unconditional love and partnership.
That said, I also know that now is probably not the best time. I must go through my inner work. I must allow my own healing and restoration. I have had my heart broken very badly.... but it was not until I learned that I was an empath that I finally understood why I chose such relationships to begin with. I really was confused by everything I was feeling and not knowing I was picking up other crazy emotions that were not my own. After having learned that lesson, I am now very much aware of my gift and I know that in the right time, the right man will appear in my life. I have not lost hope and will not lose hope.I must be whole first. I must be healed up first. I must clear out all of the old scars and pains and buttons so I can truly have a fresh start. I would rather be whole and find someone who is also whole than to be half of a person... and find another half person. This motivates me to really dig deep and allow the healing in my own life.... especially as I am aware that I will be involved in healing for others.. but I am no good for others until I am whole.
These are the things that I think about when the depression hits.
One more thing I would like to add... I want to address what your colleague said about never being respected as a single person. That was a very limiting and self serving kind of thing for one person to tell another person about a life that is not even theirs. I would dismiss that stupid statement immediately because I know that MY life is what I will make of it and I will be respected, and it will have nothing to do with the status of my personal life. That is such a ridiculous thing to say to someone.
I hope that sharing part of where I am at helps you. I really do. It is so easy to feel alone but if we just look around, we will find that we are really not alone. There are many kind and understanding people here at this site.
Hang in there.