Ending up alone

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Karolina
@karolina
last year
4 posts
This is something that has been on my mind a lot recently and something that I worry about. As an empath, I have often struggled in relationships and have had quite a few which were abusive which led to me protecting my heart a lot. Lately I have read so many things about people ending up alone and I'm really fearful of that even though I know that it couldn't be the worst thing in the world and it would be better to be alone than to be in a nad relationship. One of my work colleagues today told me that as a single person, I will never be resepcted-which makes no sense to me and that when I'm old without a family, I will have nobody to care.for me. It's all made me kinda depressed to be honest...
updated by @karolina: 01/12/17 02:13:08AM
Have a feeling
@shelly
last year
40 posts

Hi Karolina,

I know what you mean about this fear of being alone. I have really been going through this myself. As an Empath, we see into others so easily but it is easy to forget that not everyone has the ability to do this. I believe that this is why I have had some tough relationships and why I am in a place of solitude right now. There are times when I enjoy my solitude. There are times when I have to have it just to recharge and clear things out. But life is very special and our experiences are very special and I do have a desire to have that right person to share it with. That is a fear that haunts me sometimes, not being able to find that right symbiotic relationship but I refuse to give up hope. I believe that God wants us to be happy and fulfilled and be with others in order to give and receive unconditional love and partnership.

That said, I also know that now is probably not the best time. I must go through my inner work. I must allow my own healing and restoration. I have had my heart broken very badly.... but it was not until I learned that I was an empath that I finally understood why I chose such relationships to begin with. I really was confused by everything I was feeling and not knowing I was picking up other crazy emotions that were not my own. After having learned that lesson, I am now very much aware of my gift and I know that in the right time, the right man will appear in my life. I have not lost hope and will not lose hope.I must be whole first. I must be healed up first. I must clear out all of the old scars and pains and buttons so I can truly have a fresh start. I would rather be whole and find someone who is also whole than to be half of a person... and find another half person. This motivates me to really dig deep and allow the healing in my own life.... especially as I am aware that I will be involved in healing for others.. but I am no good for others until I am whole.

These are the things that I think about when the depression hits.

One more thing I would like to add... I want to address what your colleague said about never being respected as a single person. That was a very limiting and self serving kind of thing for one person to tell another person about a life that is not even theirs. I would dismiss that stupid statement immediately because I know that MY life is what I will make of it and I will be respected, and it will have nothing to do with the status of my personal life. That is such a ridiculous thing to say to someone.

I hope that sharing part of where I am at helps you. I really do. It is so easy to feel alone but if we just look around, we will find that we are really not alone. There are many kind and understanding people here at this site. :)

Hang in there. :)

tnorm
@tnorm
last year
10 posts
It sounds like your coworker is a taker, valuing what he/she can get out of the relationship rather than valuing the relationship itself. So take that opinion with a grain of salt.That being said, I know how difficult it feels to be alone. We are told all our lives in direct and indirect ways that we should grow up, get married, have babies, work all our lives, and die of old age. When we're not meeting that unspoken expectation, we start to let the doubt and negativity in. I've been there many times, especially after coming out of an abusive relationship.But this sounds like a wonderful opportunity for you to love yourself and have some fun! When I got out of my last relationship, I told myself I would never be in that position again. I pampered myself, I let my hair down, I read books and wrote stories, I shopped, I spent time with friends and family, and I just relaxed. I cried when I was lonely and realized that was okay. I made some healthy goals and worked towards them. Today, I am still working on being who I want to be, but I finally feel like I have the freedom and the power to rule my own life.Now you do, too. :)

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