Can my daughter feel what I'm thinking?

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Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

Only in the past year have I begun to realize that I'm an Empath. At first, it was exhilarating and a huge relief, and as if everything that had made no sense in life was suddenly very clear. There have been ups and downs since and I, like so many of us here, get overwhelmed by it all. And then I back away. Lately, I've been wondering if my daughter could also be an Empath, because no matter how hard I try to stay positive and upbeat (and I am very good at hiding what I don't want others to see), it's almost like she can tell what I'm thinking/feeling and that she can, in some strange way, feel the weight of my worries for her. I'm not sure this is making sense, but this idea has been on my mind for a few weeks now and I wanted to see if anyone else has had this experience.


updated by @charlotte-blue: 02/05/17 02:30:58AM
Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
Yes, I think it's very possible. Someone told me that it can be inherited. My granddaughter who is three hears the same house spirits that I do one day I heard the back door open and she looked up at me and said "Benji"? (my son) I thought the same thing but after a a couple of minutes I ask my husband I wonder where Benji went he looked at me as if I had lost my mind and ask what I was talking about. I said Benji had come in the back door cause I heard him, he said ,no, no one had opened the back door and went as far as running the security camarA , that is on that door, back , to show me no one had opened that door. I looked at my granddaughter and thought, hmmm. " Your heard that too?" So yes. At this point I think anything is possible.
Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

Wow. That's so interesting! Thank you for sharing that. It will be interesting to see the other ways you and your granddaughter share those experiences as she grows. My daughter has some health issues that worry me and she doesn't like me to talk about them at all. But of course I worry and am always trying to think of ways to help, which totally annoys her. I'm not overbearing or nosey or a know-it-all or any of the things that come to mind when we think of irritating moms who can't mind their own business. Even when I don't say a thing, or even let my feelings or worries show, she seems to almost know what I haven't said and she gets really upset. I know she loves me and she knows I love her. But it's almost like when we are in close physical proximity, she takes on my worries and gets angry with me for having them. And I haven't said a thing!! She is ultra sensitive (and so am I, of course), so I just wondered if she could also be an empath.

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
My granddaughters dad (my son) and myself are like that. We can talk to each other with our eyes. Lol
Ruth Calkins
@ruth-calkins
last year
3 posts

I am so happy you posted this. I also have a daughter that I believe may be an empath. I myself only figured out a few years ago that there was an actual name for my abilities, although I have always been aware of them. I especially struggled with my abilities when I was in my early 20s. My daughter just turned 20 earlier this month. I am terrified to talk to her about it but I am pretty sure she has the same abilities. I also have heard it is inherited. I don't know if that is true. I think I know which parent I inherited it from (both are now gone). I wish someone had talked to me about it but It is possible that, much like me, they didn't know what is was. The thought of talking to her about it is something I have been debating for awhile. I would love to hear from anyone who has any tips or advice on how get this conversation started...it would be greatly appreciated.

Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

I know what you mean about being nervous about bringing it up to your daughter. In fact, I don't talk about it to anyone outside this site and have not actually done a lot here either. I've not talked to my husband at all about it because I don't feel he would understand. I also worry that his skepticism could stand in the way of my search for understanding. Recently, I mentioned the term to my daughter, but we didn't go into any deep discussion about it. I'd been thinking about telling her and one particular moment felt right. But it was only a mention and she seemed intrigued and then we didn't talk about it anymore. She is a new mom and has seriously had her plate full with her own recovery and some issues with her baby, so this is not a priority right now. But I planted the thought and hope we can revisit in the future. Like you, I feel I inherited this from for sure my dad and maybe even my mom. I've always known of my hyper-sensitivity, but thought of it as a flaw somehow. You know how many people like to tell us we're "too sensitive" or that we need to "toughen up" . . . Well, I finally felt a deep sense of relief when I realized there's nothing "wrong" with me and that I'm never going to toughen up. And that's ok. Anyway, the thing with my daughter is that we are very much on the same page in some ways and then suddenly, she becomes very irritated with me and I seriously don't know why. I've been given many suggestions on how I can cease irritating her. But none of it honestly makes any sense to me. At first, I tried to comply with every request. But soon, I began to feel like some little circus animal, jumping through hoops, but us still never quite getting to a place of peace with each other. And then I began to wonder if she can actually feel what I'm not saying - how much I worry about her, and it's all just too overwhelming and depressing for her to have me near her. Does that make any sense? You said you were terrified to talk to your daughter about this. Is it because you don't think she would be receptive or understand? Or do you think she's afraid of what this all means. I get that. It's no picnic. I once became physically ill around a neighbor because of all her illness and negative energy. Bing told me that is very common with us - that we pick up that energy very easily. I was totally fine and as soon as I encountered her, I became dizzy and sick to my stomach. It was so weird. And then when we can't process it with the people around us, it makes it even more difficult to deal with. At least, that's how I feel. You said you've known for a few years. Does it get a little easier?

Ruth Calkins
@ruth-calkins
last year
3 posts

Charlotte

You said that so beautifully:

I've always known of my hyper-sensitivity, but thought of it as a flaw somehow. You know how many people like to tell us we're "too sensitive" or that we need to "toughen up" . . . Well, I finally felt a deep sense of relief when I realized there's nothing "wrong" with me and that I'm never going to toughen up. And that's ok

I has gotten easier for me. Sometimes things come to me, sometimes I just know things. I have come to accept that because of all the years I've had for confirmation. I never told my husband, now my ex-husband. But he knew I was different and sometimes he would drill me, wanting to know how I did it. I think we scare people who are trying to hide something. They think we can read their minds. I can't do that but I do pick up on things that people are probably trying very hard to not let anyone see. I have learned to be respectful. I try not to blurt things out. With my daughter...I don't really pick up on her stuff but I think she picks up on mine. I just don't want her to think I am crazy. So, I think it will be an ongoing conversation. Like you said, I will mention it at a good time and see where it goes. That might hard for me, I tend to be a little blunt. I just really worry that if I don't address it now, I might not be around to talk about it latter. I think is is better to leave a few clues than to never say anything.

water_lily
@water-lily
last year
90 posts

At least in my experience, yes, she very well might. I am fairly certain empathic abilities come from the maternal side of my family, and my first and strongest empathic connection was to my mother. My parents did not have a pleasant marriage (cheating, emotional abuse, etc) and I think that strong of a connection might have hurt me in the long run, but I can tell you that it is entirely possible for your daughter to feel your feelings, perhaps more strongly than she feels her own. Perhaps, you could try indirectly asking her about it.

Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

Thank you so much, Ruth, for your sweet message! It's encouraging to hear that it gets a little easier. It's also comforting to know I'm not alone in the reluctance to share with others. I've had experiences with people who don't understand and they can be very cruel and belittling. And there's no need for that on top of just trying to understand for ourselves. Yes, I know what you mean about not wanting your daughter to think you're crazy. I already have to be so careful about what I say and do around mine and her personality is the type where she easily writes people off who have offended/hurt her. I think she does a much better job of establishing boundaries, though I think she often does so very quickly with no hope of forgiveness - ever. I think there's a happy medium between that and giving people too many chances. I have a real problem with establishing boundaries because I like to feel open with everyone. So many times, I've enjoyed wonderful connections to people because I keep a very open heart. But that can cause trouble too. So when you say you now try not to blurt things out, did you feel before like your observations would help them and that's why you shared? But then it doesn't always work that way, I know! It's hard to keep quiet about what we discern, but I suppose we must to a certain extent. I hope you have an opportunity to talk to your daughter so you can share. Is your ex also her father? Forgive me if I'm being too nosey! I don't mean to get too personal, but I guess that's what this is all about in a way. Thanks so much for talking with me about this!

Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

Hi, Water Lily! It's been quite awhile since we've connected on here! Or wait, was that Tiger Lily? I'm so sorry if I'm confused. I find myself getting overwhelmed and backing away from this truth of who I am. But I realize I need to face it head on, and what better place than here? I like your idea about indirectly asking her about the subject. Honestly, that never occurred to me! That's truly what I think is happening, so what a relief it might be to her if I just acknowledged my own feelings and ask if she can feel the effects of them. You're so right!! Because I really think that's what's bugging her. I worry about the fast-pace of life for them. I worry about her health and what the long-term effects are going to be and, how it will affect her as her little boy grows up. But she doesn't want to even talk about any of it. So I keep my concerns to myself as best I can. Or do I? Is she sensing them in spite of my best efforts to hide them? And is it those hidden worries that she is feeling and taking onto herself (mine as well as her own). I actually never thought of her as an empathetic type, so the reason I am wondering now is because I really feel like she might be able to feel my thoughts. And when she may be trying so hard to repress hers, why would she want mine? I'm so sorry your parents' marriage was so hard. These patterns affect us as we grow and well into the aging process. Do you still have contact with both of them? And did you feel like you had to choose between them and also protect them at times - especially since you felt more closely connected to your mother? That can be very hard on children. We saw a lot of violence and also behavior of that sort growing up and I certainly empathize with you on that. Thank you for sharing. It really helps.

Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

How do you mean that, Ren? Like you just both know what each other is thinking, or you can convey totally new information to each other with your eyes? That's fascinating! Does he know of this connection you and your granddaughter have? Like when he showed you the security camera, even though he was looking at the "solid facts", did he sense that there was more to the story?

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
Sorry, I didn't get a notification that you had replied. For my son and myself, I really don't know how it works it's like are brain thinks the very same (which should be impossible ) and when we look into each other's eyes I can see clearly what he is thinking and him me. Even sometimes it's painful to fill it. It's total truth everytime. I can text him and if he don't answer , I automatically know why. It's sound crazy , I know.My husband is a logic prover. He thinks we heard something that resembled the door opening and closing and we was both mistaken. "Whatever"! It happens way too often. I can get something on my mind and my granddaughter will come to me and put her hand on my face and pull it to where she can see my eyes and say "you ok, NeaNea? She's only 3. But, her dad was the same way at that age. They both have very high vibrations to the point that I can feel it when I get close to them. Her vibrations is so sweet and pure. Like a good breath of air. Anyway, I know I sound wired. But that's just how it is. Their is a negative to feel things this way, if you walk up to someone with bad energy, you feel every bit of it. They may be a beautiful person on the outside but it will make you step back , the feeling is so strong. Sad
Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

Your granddaughter really does sound very sweet and filled with light! Do you think, since your son was the same way at her age, that he has tried to find ways to suppress the truth of who he is? Maybe that's why he's so quick to dismiss what you and your granddaughter both heard. He may have become very skilled at denying it in his own experience. That has happened to me too and it's very overwhelming. I've noticed that I use that word a lot in describing this whole awareness. But I think we all have to take it one step at a time and not let go of our own personal truths just because others don't understand and try to discount them. But it's hard, I know. I haven't figure it out yet - how to do that and not back away. It helps to have people here who understand. And btw, you don't sound weird at all. :)

Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

How wonderful that you had this beautiful relationship with your Grandmother! I'm sure it was a huge comfort and gift for her as well to know that the 2 of you had this very special connection. I think my grandson is a very sensitive soul and, as he gets older, it will be wonderful to see how that sensitivity manifests itself. I hope that one day, like you, he will remember having a special bond with his grandmother. :)

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
It's my husband that will dismiss the fact of the connection. I may of not stated that correctly But my son fears being rejected if he lets people know of his abalities
Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

Oh, I'm sorry - that was probably my misunderstanding. Yes, why are we so afraid for people to know? I can sympathize with your son - and all of us - for how isolated we can feel. That's another wonderful thing about this site. We're not alone here! :)

water_lily
@water-lily
last year
90 posts

Hello, Sorry to have taken so long to reply. I hope that if you decided to indirectly ask her about it, it went well. If she can sense them, then it is very likely that she is sensing despite you trying to hide your worries.

I am still in regular contact with both of my parents. I did not feel that I had to choose between them (until the divorce and the inevitable "who would you like to live with" talk of course. I ended up as more of a peacemaker and saw my role to be the person that kept things from getting too out of hand. As an adult, I find it strange that I had that reaction; I didn't think I ought to keep my parents together or tear them apart or really do anything on that front; I just wanted to make sure no one hit anybody or broke things... Although I felt my mom's pain more than anyone else's, I tried to not let that affect my peacemaking.

On the nice side of things, I think I learned some important lessons pretty early on. Before kindergarten I'd learned the power of perspective in that people can do one thing; you can see them do that thing, and they can be completely convinced that they did something else. Also, I'd learned that in arguments in which participants have opposing views, both views can be right. Mostly, I learned that the truth can be buried somewhere under the different perspectives of people and I may never know what really happened unless I see it with my own eyes. I guess what I am trying to say is that I didn't feel that I had to choose because I knew that my mom was sad/hurt, etc and I knew that my dad was angry, but I also knew that they both loved us and I just wanted to help them both be less angry/upset/worried.

Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

Hi, Water Lily! Ive been taking a long time to reply too. Lots going on. No worries! I havent had the right moment to bring up the subject yet. The recent visit was very busy and full and we had no good opportunity. But I am thinking about how to approach the subject and also trying to be more sensitive to when she feels like talking seriously.


Thats so interesting about the perspective youre discussing and how some dont really have a clear picture of their own actions. I am trying to look at myself in that realm and determine if I am doing that in some of my dealings with my daughter. Im glad you didnt feel the need to choose between your parents and that, always, both of their love was evident to you. Its hard to feel like you have to keep the peace at such a young age, and I would imagine that followed you into adulthood.


Thank you so much for discussing this with me and sharing some of your story. It helps!


:)
Charlotte Blue
@charlotte-blue
last year
32 posts

Wow. Those are some very interesting experiences! I think youre so right about the strong link making the possibility more likely. I think it makes everything more raw and intense too - or it can.


What a gift to have been led to such a beautiful natural phenomenon! Its so interesting how we are blessed with beauty that, if were not tuned in, we might otherwise miss. Thank you so much for sharing this!

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