Feeling So Hopeful

To post a reply, login or signup

Sarah
@sarah
last year
386 posts

I posted the other day about my toxic job that I was about to be finished with. Ever since I started this job last fall, Sunday nights, I have anxiety and feel sick because I can feel it coming up the next day. Also, I lost all my zest for life. I no longer wanted to write or hang out with friends or make things or take care of my house that I love or anything else that my source of life is connected to.

I finished the at-work part of it Friday, finished the volunteer hours for it Saturday and hopefully I will finish the paperwork part of it tomorrow, and that's the last of it. I'm already starting to feel some of my life-force flowing back to me. I just cleaned my kitchen and even though out of habit, I'm feeling some pre-work anxiety tonight, as soon as I realize what it is, it goes mostly away because I'm so close to being done.

I really think that job must have just been infused--or completely made of--narcissist or just plain toxic energy because of the people in charge of it. I had no idea the difference it can make depending on who's in charge. My last job at that same school was run by an empath lightworker and it was just so fun and I looked forward to it everyday. this one was run by three narcissists and it pretty much literally took my soul. I hope I never get in a situation like that again.

How can you tell when you start a new job if the energy is bad or if it's just the natural fear and feeling off balance of being new on the job? This job started out terrible and just stayed awful. I blamed myself for the first few months, then realized when it was too late and I was too committed that it was something toxic outside of myself. Thank god I'm almost free all the way and can claim my soul back all the way. I'm starting to feel really good for the first time in a long time.


updated by @sarah: 01/15/17 01:02:05AM
TigerLily
@tigerlily
last year
308 posts
If the job is going to be toxic I get bad feelings in my gut. If the job will be good I'm so excited I can't stand it lol. That's the best way I learned all these years, was through my gut.
Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
Yea, your vibration level is going up. Your evolving.
Sarah
@sarah
last year
386 posts

I had a good feeling about this job when I took it, and the first day of training went well, but by the second day of training, I was literally sick with anxiety. I have anxiety, so I thought it was just me. I didn't know it was the poison that was already working in me from these people. I think I will have to learn the difference between my regular anxiety which I try to not let stop me from living, and my warning anxiety which gives me the red light on things that will hurt me.

Sarah
@sarah
last year
386 posts

I hope so. This job has been super good for helping me break some long standing patterns in my life, though. Since the anxiety was so bad, I was able to work with an energy healer and use my own gifts to take a big bite out of that anxiety and it's been significantly better since. Also, with all that narcissist energy in the job, I was able to finally really make a big dent in my being vulnerable to narcissists. That has been one of the most important things I've been able to heal in my life. I sure hope I don't have to heal the rest of it the hard way, by being surrounded by them, but I'm so grateful for what I was able to heal through this, but I hope I never have to learn this way again.

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book