2 years ago
82 posts

Oh, that sounds awful. Chalk it up to a nasty learning curve. It took me ages to listen and fully trust the rumbles I felt - I thought for a long time it was all me and I was either imagining things or it was my post Narcissist PTSD, or I was too sensitive and a bit nuts, or something.

It's great you'll be out of there in a few days, if I understand correctly. Some people are just bullies, and institutional bullying occurs, and Narcissists tend to be plausible out in the world, and also to develop cohorts of supporters.

Be kind to yourself now. You will recover your equilibrium. And don't beat up on yourself for not listening to yourself. It's how we learn, most times, unfortunately. :)

(I also think that urge to 'fix it' comes from a child place. "This time I'll make it right." For me it just keeps coming up. It's really sad on one level, but also really valiant, that child lingering inside trying to make their living conditions and the crazy people around them come good and finally treat them right.)

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