Rene''
Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,195 posts
Hello Kristen. Yes, I understand everything you said. I have been there and it's a lonely place to be , I know. Do you meditate ? That is a sure way of finding and healing yourself. Yes, there are so many fake people in this world. It's ashamed they don't take the time to know someone. But they are usually caught up in themselves. Is your husbands condition controlled by medication ? Your taking on every one else's feelings it sounds like. It's had to carry every one else's burdens around. I know. I have tried it but I just can't do it. I understand you are pushing people away and I know it is to get some relief but you should try cutting cords during meditation. And get very grounded. That will help also. So sorry your life is so grim. Your husbands condiction is what's worrying you the most , isn't it. I hope he is getting help with that. His condiction will become yours also so be careful.
Rene''
Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,195 posts
Ok. The weed is self medicating. I haven't smoked it in over 20 years but I do remember how much it calmed my mind. I will say before you can help someone heal you have to heal yourself. I understand what is happening while you are trying to meditate but it you would try it every day, just 10 min. Even when you can't cal. Your mind, if you keep trying, it will start working. Have you tried guided meditation on you tube. It helps following someone elses voice when you can't calm your mind. The breathing help also. I usually do it at night when everyone is asleep and the house is quiet. And I have one other suggestion. Have you thought your husband may be an intuitive The voices he heard may be really a form of communication from beyond. Just something to think about. Maybe he needs to try meditation if he believes in it. My husband doesn't but does not stop me. Listen. Make a list of everything that is depressing you and look at that list. Look for the things you can Actually changed and what you can not change. Start by changing what you can and mark it off. The things you cannot change , cut cords to it. You really have to try at this. Make it do able. I don't know if your religious but if you are pray also. I'm sending you love and light and peace to you sweet girl.
Matthias
Matthias
@matthias
2 years ago
3 posts

Peace is found at the end of every conflict thoughtfully and lovingly resolved. Our ESP (elevated sense of perception, I find it to be a more accurate description), gives us an opportunity that not everyone is provided. We are acutely aware of our surroundings in any given moment, and once awakened, we are shown the things that we are meant to be shown, hear the things that we are meant to hear, and feel the things that we are meant to fill <---- I nearly removed this typo, but when I read it i found it to be honest, and left it. The universe connects and communicates with us in ways that are beyond even our understanding at times. We can not expect understanding from others, but we can be open to receiving it. It the universe communicates with you, then inversely you can communicate with it, all roads are necessarily two way, as you can choose to go one or the other, the only question now is which way you will go and how you will travel it. If we are aware then we are drawn to those things of which we are aware, either on purpose, or on accident. Purpose indicates growth, a lack of growth indicates stagnation or moratorium. Growth does occur on accident, but it definitely benefits from a stable environment conducive to ones' goals. We program ourselves one we are awakened. Do you want to win? If so you may take victory in this one thing, but another conflict will always come, it is necessary. So it is no longer about winning, winning reduces your options. Winning is always winning, But NOT LOSING could be any other thing. Consider all the perspectives that you have been the gift to perceive before making the decision. If someone else KNEW how you were feeling how would you like them to use this information? Be the change you want to see. I do not know you, but I do see, feel, and hear you. I hope this message finds any and all who need it.

Ecila
Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
897 posts

I lived with a bipolar/sociopath for 17 years. I loved him and felt sorry for him and wanted to help him. It finally came down to the realization that there was no helping him and he would sink. The only question left was will I sink with him? I finally left with PTSD and depression that took years to overcome. I can't say if your situation is in any way similar to mine, but there often comes a point in life that you have to think of yourself if you want to live. Rene is so right that his illness will become yours, or some version of it. It is noble to care for others in pain, but we must also include ourselves in that caring. We count just as much.

There were other reasons from my past that caused me to not let go of that relationship (absent father, narcissists everywhere growing up). Could there be something from your past that makes you feel you are not worthy of a happy life and your only worth comes from taking care of others?

All the best to you.

Shadow
Shadow
@shadow
2 years ago
11 posts

You are not alone. Don't ever let the pressures, hate, or negativity win. I am probably not the best to give advice as i struggle with control myself, usually resorting to alcohol and debauchery to try and block out reality, but there are some other things i've tried that sometimes work for me. Meditation is usually a no go, as it's hard for me to stop my thoughts, but i have been able to relax and unwind by laying in the bath and listening to music or i have a rain generator that seems to calm me down a bit. In social setting i try to steer conversations towards a more jovial end and try to make others laugh. Though this is not ideally helpful to myself, it does seem to change the moods of those around me away from the darkness that is usually there and that in turn relieves some weight from me. I hope some of this helps even though its not much and if you ever need an ear i'll try to be around. Luck to ya and yours

Rene''
Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,195 posts
Have you tried to cleanse your house eithe sage
Rene''
Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,195 posts
With sage. Sorry my phone spells for it self sometimes
Rene''
Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,195 posts
Honey, you can't make us uncomfortable talking about the supernatural, not me anyway. We know the forces out there. And that's why we are here.
Shadow
Shadow
@shadow
2 years ago
11 posts

No worries. I'm 36 myself and am also still searching for what to do in this world. Egotistically, i've been good at just about any job i've ever had, but i also generally end up sabotaging myself. One of the cool things this "gift" has allotted me is that i tend to go off on people whom I sense are bad, negative, manipulative, or uncaring when i can't take their darkness anymore. This unfortunately happens more than i like and i usually end up having to find a new job.

As far as the supernatural aspect, I'm sure there is quite a bit that people have experienced, but are just as apprehensive in talking about it as you. I found a long time ago that it doesn't always receive positive response from regulars. Here i wouldn't worry about it so much. Either they have experienced similar thing and will open up to you as well with their experiences, or at worst it would be same as talking to regulars and you lose really nothing as this is just a faceless blog (no offense to everyone). Either way its always good to get things off your chest/out of the head :)

Rene''
Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,195 posts
I use white sage. Well.. For it working well, I would say yes if the energy is willing to leave. Some are standoffish. I keep thinking about your husband. Did his mental illness start before you moved into your home or after. Have y'all played games trying to see or hear spirits ? If your home really old or in and really old neighborhood.?
Ecila
Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
897 posts

Your husband will have to be willing to let go of these energies/entities and he probably isn't in a well enough mental state to do that. Sounds like he has welcomed them since he has even given one a name. I hope you can find a way to focus on yourself. Get rid of the fear you have. These energies thrive on fear, weakness, mental illness and drug abusers. If you are committed to staying with him, you can try to fight the darkness but it will take lots of strength and time and the outcome will depend largely on your husbands state of mind, willingness, and ability to heal himself. . . also on your strength to endure and overcome. I feel that even if the dark energies are conquered, you still have his illness as a permanent issue which will perpetuate the energies to come back. Sorry to be negative here. I just hate seeing people suffer like you when it reminds me so much of what I went through.

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
835 posts
Hi...I'm sorry...but I hear voices too....they are NOT a mental illness...I took meds for a while and really they do nothing...i've since come to the conclusion I am Clairaudient. ..and the voices are actually spirit...and crap people carry in their energy...I thot at one time i too was schizophrenic....had quite a few tests...and all was normal....except for my b12...so...if your husband has a chance he should look up Clairaudience....and he will also be an empath...as I am as well....
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
835 posts
The supernatural is a part of my life everyday....lol...I used to be afraid ...but now I don know what i'd do if I lost my connection to it...lol...I know you need a breather from your husband...but he's in need of help too with this gift of his...
Cat Whisperer
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 years ago
754 posts
You don't need to apologize, the supernatural are everywhere....its just that most don't see, feel or sense it.
Eva
Eva
@eva
2 years ago
13 posts
Thanks Kristen for this post and Matthias your reply was really helpful :)

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book