EMPATH NEW FRIEND EXCHANGE

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Sequoia Mendoza
@sequoia-mendoza
last year
6 posts

I kept my few good friends (5), but as four live far and the last one is in nursing school we are just at a place in life where we all still have good will for each other, but we are not active in each others lives. I would like to see them each once a year and it doesn't always happen, but when we do at least we have a level of open communication I don't have with people I haven't known for a long time.

I am friendly, in school I did have one or many friends at a given time (moved to much to keep in touch with them and they started habits that I did not), then when I started work and college I made friends that I gave my whole heart to, who for the most part, betrayed me and left me without paying back money ext (I'm not mad about the money, but it really shows lack of being a good friend).

Years went by, I feel I detached from it, but the hurt must be there because I am now a fake introvert (a fearful extrovert) and I don't put myself out there to make new friends oftenat all. My husband and sister are good to me, but they would be happy to see me make other friends who share my interests.

I'm to scared that no one will share my interests, but even if they don't we could be friends if they like me, but at heart I am scared they won't like the real me either...

My Interests: Fairy Gardens, Reading Fantasy (Sword of Truth) & Scifi (Forever War), Writing Poems, Digital Drawing, Dream Interpretation, Guardian Angels, Essential Oils.

The Real Me: Tells the Truth (to often for most people), Doesn't Like Phone Calls (does like email or real letters), Doesn't Like Malls (shop on Amazon to avoid that), Doesn't Understand Highly Emotional People (I can like or love them, but I don't get why or how they feel so much - even if I can feel what they feel - I'm still confused), Not Religious, Can't Eat Normal Food (wheat/corn/oat allergies make any eating out a "I'll have the water" event on my end).

It's also hard to make female friends when I always had male friends before...

No shopping interest leaves some females, but no eating kills most of the remaining ones...

My husband doesn't mind the few male friends I already have because I'm so poor at making new female friends...

I'm extremely optimistic to make friends here though, because I actually have so many life experiences in common with people here. Feel free to "friend me" we could email penpal.

I guess anyone who wants to try to make new empath friends could post:

My Interests

The Real Me

It's good to try to meet new people, because it takes a few meetings to really click with a good friend.


updated by @sequoia-mendoza: 01/21/17 05:18:51AM
Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
last year
373 posts

Heya - I feel ya.

I used to have many great friends, but when becoming spiritual, I lost most. Since it has been difficult, some of that blame is on having moved to London too though, which is a tough city to make friends...

I have come to believe that most empaths are likely 'lighter' than the average Jane/ Joe, and it seems that their confused energies do their best for such people to not see us, and not engage with us, unless they have to - through e.g. work.... If anything I feel sorry when looking at most 'muggles' though. Most of them likely feel more lonely in their active social lives, than me with just a few friends, and a lot of alone time. (I very rarely feel lonely, and if I do, it is usually Saturday nite desperation energies floating about the ether).

Also I have been asking for healing for such matters and things have been (slowly) improving over the years.So if one has ones intentions straight, and especially with Divine back up things can improve :)

Have you had a look at e.g. MeetUp.com? So much on there, and if there is not what you are looking for yet, you cna always found a new group. Or local meditation, yoga, etc groups, with more like minded folk? Or maybe there is fantasy book reading clubs (have you read Robin Hobb?, she is the best!!!!), etc. etc.

Love and Light!

P.S. And I totally get you about all that emotion stuff. Sometimes I think I am a cold hearted bitch for not being more emotional, but then I remember that I have prayed for (negative) emotional cleansings for the last 20 years, and that what I am now should be more evolved than the emotional slave I used to be :)

pebble
@pebble
last year
21 posts

Hooray another Robin Hobb fan.

Love her description of Wit ability. Explains the long-lasting pain when empaths lose a pet!

Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
last year
373 posts

Yeah - Robin Hobb rocks. I'd be surprised if she is not an empath herself....

beb313
@beb313
last year
9 posts

I have friends who I think are great people but the problem is that I don't share many interests with them so I don't like doing the things they like to do. Also, I feel like being an empath/highly sensitive person causes a lot of misunderstanding, because I need a lot of time alone and so I think my friends get offended and think I don't want to spend time with them. Also, I am in my 20's, so everyone my age likes to go out to drink and go clubbing and such which I do not like at all. I have only ever met ONE person that I connected with REALLY well. We are basically like kindred souls. We have all the same interests and we have a strong connection and get along so well. We were basically best friends instantly. Unfortunately she lives across the world now. I really wish I could meet more people like her. I'm sure she's an empath as well so I'm sure that's partly why we get along so well. The only other person I have a strong connection with is my sister who is an empath as well. I really can't spend a lot of time with "normal" people because I find them draining, but with the few people I have a strong connection with I could hang out with them all of the time!

But yeah, my interests are quite unusual for someone my age, and it's pretty much unheard of for anyone my age to be interested in what I'm interested in. My interests include spirituality, the metaphysical, yoga, exercise, wellness, holistic healing, reiki, meditation, essential oils, animals, etc.. Also, I have a lot of food sensitivities as well which makes it hard to socialize as well since eating out is a big part of socializing, and I find that it's stressful because everyone always has to comment and judge you for your eating choices if they are unusually healthy or restrictive. I also do not drink so that is another issue with socializing. I also do not like crowded places like malls, but I can tolerate shopping once in a while.

I would love to chat with you since we seem to have a lot in common! Feel free to message me if you're interested! :)

Sequoia Mendoza
@sequoia-mendoza
last year
6 posts

Thank you for the books! I started the first book, so good, it had me on "knuckly grip" first page. I can't believe for $15 I can get 3 books that took someone else years to make and now I have new world of enjoyment to explore. It's hard not to prefer books to people, since you can just set them down if you want to (even though I don't).

Book people are always interesting, real people I guess are interesting, under the masks we wear, but don't care to make my way through the vanilla maze it takes to get to know them very often.

I did find a cool group of writers on meetup, but my schedule is messed up to meet them or host... They really don't have inappropriate hour meet ups much... I guess I can see why... It's tough going from book friends to real live people also, I like penpal-ish friends the best right now.

I bet a lot of fantasy readers and gamers are empaths, it's relaxing mentally existing in a world that you enjoy/can handle. It's easy to be turned off by war/genocide/poverty/starvation/ext that exists in this world if you care at all... so I stopped caring much, but I remember being younger I cared about everyone in the world. Anyways, thanks for the advice and book.

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

I can totally relate to this post and similarly to Goodenergyhealing, when becoming spiritual, it tends to put others off. I have been healing from past traumas, clearing traumas etc and I think my lighter energy is confusing my parents , so we always seem to argue more intensely. Has anyone noticed that when they start becoming more 'inner self' aware, a lot of conflict happens?

Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
last year
373 posts

yeah - I used to have a few rows, especially with my father. My mum is a bit easier, but she too can 'block' when I say something about spirituality, that she does not want to hear....

On the upside - comparing my family to those of friends, etc. - over the years we have become more and more harmonious. Sure if took a few years (and luckily I always had a great connection to my sisters), but it seems possible. After 20 years of praying for him, and sending distant healing, my atheist father even accepted one-on-one Reiki off me, last time I visited. Took 20 years, but hey ;)

h1234
@h1234
last year
49 posts

well as an update, i've been quite right putting my needs first for a change, overtime i hear 'i'm being selfish' in my head (often from parents!), I have to be strong and say 'no!' me time!!, just think if I'm well, what a power i can be to others, its my purpose to be well to pass my expertise on to others, its been an up and down 3 months, but I took time off, not working much at moment, just dabbling in a bit of this and that, but as my blocks are moving, I am getting stronger and I've made some good friends through meetup groups, one which I set up myself in my village. Its been slow but to others, keep persisting with your healing. I've been through hell and back for 37 years, well since 14 years old, with all sorts of crap, but, I will not give in until I'm my best self I can be, don't give in, i was suicidal five months ago, but bit by bit we will get there.

Raven3
@raven3
last year
15 posts
I have very few friends and none local. I never have been popular and I guess over the years I have gotten used to it.My interests: Gardening, reading and writing fanfic, drawing, studying foreign languages, rainbows, sparkly stuff, gem healingThe real me: Well, that's complicated...because I don't really know myself. I spent much of my life trying to please others. I'm a mother and a wife who has no clue what she is doing but still does her best anyway. I see beauty in things most people do not, like the softness of a flower petal, the sparkles on water from the sun, the power of a thunderstorm that freaks most people out. I love easily and deeply but trust no one. That is something I am working to change. I look for the happy ending in everything, leading people to say I live in fantasy land. At the same time, I am notorious for seeing the worst in a situation. I love to share my knowledge and experiences with those I love. There's so much more, of course...but these are what I could think of now :)
Sequoia Mendoza
@sequoia-mendoza
last year
6 posts

I am a new mother and a wife also and I found that it was easy to loose sight of who I was as well, two things helped me find myself recently: really getting to know what my values are (free and helpful value index toolhttp://www.lifevaluesinventory.org/) and writing morning pages (I like 750words.com).

I didn't know my top values were concern for the environment, responsibility, humility and creativity, now that I know I don't feel bad that I failed at marketing (humble people struggle there) and I know why I have the inner struggle between being sensible and not buying art stuff (responsibility value) and always wanting to buy art stuff (creativity value). So I compromised and am doing digital art, which doesn't cost as much for supplies.

I love all those things about nature you mentioned, also how it renews itself, how we are a mirror of the greater Earth (streams from satellite view look like blood vessels ext).

I love all your interests as well, I keep only one ruby for myself and I use it to bank good feelings between my husband and I in it and hold it when I am mad to remember all the good things he does for me...

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