Bookworm
Bookworm
@bookworm
2 years ago
94 posts
You shouldn't beat yourself up for feeling guilty, it's just another aspect of the caring person you are - recognise the feeling and that it is coming from a well meaning place but it serves no purpose. You can't help someone who isn't interested in being helped, so don't allow someone to treat you badly because you think they can be better. They have to choose to be better, and you don't deserve to be treated badly while they are trying to decide whether or not they want to be a better person. That might sound harsh but it's really not, we can't help people find their way if they don't want us to. So I guess what I'm saying is the feelings of guilt will probably not just go away, but if you focus on the fact that you are a good person who is happy to help others so long as they treat you with basic respect, it should help. Speaking from my own experience not trying to judge you in any way! Good luck :) keep going and I'm sure you will feel better in time xx
Kit Kat
Kit Kat
@kit-kat
2 years ago
232 posts

Can relate.... I think it's because we can feel that they are the way they are because they have been mistreated, too. The best case scenario is probably to feel sorry for them! But if I do anything to hurt them (like they've most likely hurt me) I just feel guilty, even if it's just an accident.. :/

Tundra2
Tundra2
@tundra2
2 years ago
63 posts

Hello boubou, I just saw your post and I can so relate to feeling guilty. My morning coffee and a dose of guilt. That is what gets me almost every day, I don't want to give up on someone. I wish I could say I have the answer. Currently, when the guilt starts I am asking myself what am I guilty of? If I am staying away from a person who I feel is negative and using me, then yes I am guilty of that. I will own that guilt and its ok. I have a right to decide who I feel I need to stay away from. I am not sure if I am wording this correctly but what I am trying to say is that my feelings are valid. If I feel I need to stay away from someone then there is a reason I feel that way and that reason comes from them. So guilty yes, for standing up for myself. Guilty for feeling I need to stay away from a person, no.

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