lilly
@lilly
2 years ago
33 posts

Hiy yeah ive found this totaly. Its like i am a magnet for them and i fall for it everytime. I tend to only find people who want to take off me all the way. I find it hard to make other connections other than takers. Ive found online friendships better they cant take as much

I am slowly realising who is and who is not my real friend. I want to stop falling for their sob stories and coming to the rescue and thinking i can save them. I often find that there is no real sob story they are making alot of it up for sympathy. I have one real bad on in my life and she is definatley making it so hard for me to leave. Saying stuff like ' i wish everyone in the world was nice like you i know you wont hurt me and let me down' I

dont know if she actualy means this or its a ploy as to keep me with her. But she is sucking me dry. She never stops taking. I can almost feel her sucking the light out of me. She feeds on her own negative energy. Ive got to get away from her. She is always inviting herself to talk to me everyday and i cant stand it. She wants to take over my life!

This is just one example. For me they always act like the lost one that no one has ever loved. But if you give them any love they wont leave you alone. They latch onto you and keep sucking till they are full and you are empty. They will tell you anything in order to latch on.

It has got so bad for me that im afraid to connect with new people now. Cos it seems i have so many in my life. I dont know how to get rid of them so i usualy just leave them on the edge of my life and hardly ever speak to them. I have isolated myself from people cos of this. It is hard to spot them ahead of time. Its only once they are in your life that they show themselves and im so bad at getting out of friendships. It feels like im breaking their heart!

BUt i think this is just my projection onto them. I hate being abandoned so i dont want to do that to someone else


updated by @lilly: 12/26/17 12:51:26AM
lilly
@lilly
2 years ago
33 posts

i think we are attracted to the fact that they can read us like a book and put on our favorite show for us and tap into us and give us what we think we want. BUt its all just a lie

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 years ago
1,380 posts

Yes, I was just recently made sick by one I met on here, who was mirroring exactly what I want in a friend and then switched to it all being done her way, which was not what I want at all. She had me fooled until I was so drained that I had a collapse and my stomach started to bleed. It's too bad, since she had a lot of good qualities, I think. I don't know anymore if anything she said was true.

think I finally understand that I must hold people at arm's length until I've known them quite awhile, and I must set firm boundaries at the very beginning, something I often fail to do, since it usually scares people away. I've made peace with being alone if that is what it takes not to be used like this again. It took a long time and lots of pain for me to get here. This hurts awfully also, since it seems like most people are only interested in me to use me. I married into a family with 3 narcissists, all of whom were/are persecuting my husband, who is not one. We had to cut all ties with them to protect our health. I agree, trust your gut not your head. I have never seen real emotion from a narc except anger when they don't get their way.

Cheshire Cat

Roxanne
Roxanne
@roxanne
2 years ago
1,562 posts

I have learned well from the narcissists in my life. Most importantly that life is too short to deal with that particular brand of crazy. As a healer-conscious person I spent most of my life thinking if I didn't try to help them I was not doing my best as a person of caring.
WRONG! -- On the other hand there is a 'range' of narcissistic abuse and disorder. The minute you know you are dealing with extreme range get as far away as you possibly can. It's about survival and self respect.
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow them to do to you.
I wish you luck. Find a nice boring guy. Narccissists tend to be charming and fun. But the quiet "boring' (for search of a better word) kind of guys always tend to be smart and loyal and super nice. We've been brainwashed into thinking 'flattery, charming and excitement' makes for a good catch. But in the end I'll take kindness and loyalty any day!

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