How many of us are single out of choice

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lilly
@lilly
last year
30 posts

I just wondered cos im so far deciding to stay single in my life rather than go searching for love. I found im just wanting to work on myself at the moment and work out alot more about my highly sensitive personality and my newly descovered empath place in the world. I was already doing so much work on myself and discovering so many things i wouldnt have discovered if id been with someone i dont believe.

I personaly feel i have too much 'stuff' to be getting into a close personal realationship. That coupled with i dont know what i want from someone else. And i have a very complex physical illness and mental things in tow. I feel it would actualy be very foolish to become involved with someone right now.

But there is someone i met through a forum. We have been speaking on the phone and im fond of him already. But if anything were to happen it will be a long way off in the future. I dont think he is in any sort of rush to start something. But there has been flurting.

I feel truely that i am better off alone. There is not the same constant stress like if you are with someone. Ive not learned to negotiate the emotions of other people yet to successfully be able to be around another person. I can just feel too overwhelmed by another. Ive often thought if i ever got a long term partner and we wanted to live together. I would ask him to live in the annex in my garden rather than live with me in the main house. Cos i would like to not have to see him everyday!!.

I am just a very self sufficent and solitary person. I get strength from being alone. That doesnt mean im anti-social i have friends and i see my dad three times a week. I would even like to make some more like minded friends That live in my area or even just online people. But i for now dont know how to be in a relationship with someone else. ive been single so long ! Its been 15 years since i had a boyfriend and im only 37. Ive had alot of personal problems that have led me to turn to myself more and more. And had illness problems as well so have adapted to be by myself. Now i cant imagine being with a man.

Anyway my question to you all is if you are single is it out of choice? Have you chosen it for your sanity or just cos you fancied being alone for awhile.


updated by @lilly: 10/19/17 10:24:14AM
TigerLily
@tigerlily
last year
309 posts
I would say you are doing the right thing by being single to work on you, major kudos to you :). I never thought it was fair of people who have issues within themselves that they choose not to resolve because they think a partner is going to help them with it. One of my friends is going through this, but she is completely lost on how to work on her. Yet relies on men to make her feel good. I'd say for myself it's not much of a choice, but then again I'm also very picky on what I want. Yet again, our gift has also allowed me to pick up on whether the guy would be good for me or not. Which I guess is a blessing in disguise :) It's good being single as I've spent over a year working on me to better me as well, without the influence of someone else. As of recent I've experienced a bump with my health so it's better that I laid low as my symptoms subsided.
Crownite
@crownite
last year
107 posts
I suppose its by choice for me too. Initially I was very attached to the twin flame concept but what I found was that I was attracting people out of sheer desperation and a lack of understanding of who I am and what I even really wanted out of a relationship if anything at all. When I realized what my draw was to the concept and began to reconnect with myself, my craving for a relationship dwindled and I've found more joy and a greater sense of wholeness and completion in my single status. I'm not opposed to a romantic relationship, but I no longer see it as a necessary part of my growth or a need in order to demonstrate my evolutionary process to others, which I had initially perceived the twin flame concept to be.
Scott Yates
@scott-yates
last year
62 posts

By choice for the last 2 years. My wife passed and I've decided to remain single and do me.

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