Anyone feel comfortable with discussing Empaths in the BDSM community?

2 years ago
18 posts

I am active in my local BDSM community. I apologize if this topic offends anyone, that is not my intent. I invite no comments on the lifestyle or its workings here.

Traditionally for myself I have been a loner with respect to my BDSM self but in recent years have found myself being more and more active in the community. The movie 50 shades of grey a few years back prompted a flood of newbies entering into the realm and as such communities nationwide have seen an influx of seekers, players etc. I myself have met dozens of newcomers and am surprised as to how many are empaths and most all of them have been unaware of their empathic selves. The ratio is far greater than that which I encounter in my daily "vanilla" interactions.

Has anyone else noticed this?

Is there some connection between being an empath and the workings within BDSM?

Should this discussion move towards anyones sexuality or anything dark or negative then I will remove it.

updated by @peter: 01/13/17 05:01:54PM
2 years ago
220 posts
Hi, I have no experience in this arena but what comes to mind is opposites, yin & yang?
There is light and dark in us all and we are supposed to face the darker aspects of ourselves in order to progress/evolve.

Also its well documented Empaths are drawn to Narcissistic personality it possible this is a place for them to test these things..unknowingly or not? I've never watched the movie you mentioned (I suffered sexual abuse as a teenager so struggle to watch certain content)..but from what I hear there are 'safe words' so I'm presuming there are reputatable places one can go to explore this side of things and be relatively safe?

Maybe these unrealised empaths are actually doing work on these aspects of themselves...exploring and coming to understand themselfs..or possibly even working through past trauma in what's perceived by them to be a safe place? (Not all abuse victims react as I did...with aversion issues etc).

These are just what comes to mind.

Gem x
2 years ago
390 posts

few things I can imagine could be a reason for that.

-Gem's Narcissist theory

- trying (consciously or subconsciously) to explore ones boundaries, and improve being able to set boundaries (especially important for empath).

- I would not be surprised if the BDSM community is on average more 'aware'? I guess such practices force one to be more aware. Obviously regular sex can be aware (kind of tantric), but I guess with many (teh unaware masses) nature and instinct kicks in and it turns somewhat animalistic, whereas with BDSM (if one wants to avoid the other using their safe word after 2min already) one really has to feel the other person, and be very conscious?

- I admit I have stereotypes about BDSM, as for which I have not ventures there, but they could well be wrong. I am reminded of having had a massage client booking 2 years ago. He announced he'd be coming up from his naval base. I was bracing myself for tons of really bad energy, but his energies were actually really nice. It felt like in his job, with life and death at stake, people really look out for each other. I felt sorry for him, if he'll ever need to enter the comparatively cut throat environment of a modern city office!

- If they are unaware empath something else could come in. Empath awareness does not seem to have been around too long (at least not that openly). The general wider known philosophy is that we create our reality and the Law of Attraction. So if an empath believes that, they might conclude that them often feeling negative might be them creating/ attracting such - which can lead to guilt (consciously or subconsciously). If one has guilt and experiences pain, then that can lead to feelings of penance, which can open the door to healing (as they now think that after the pain experienced they are allowed some healing)?

Hope I am not just rambling :))

Love and Light!

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