Hiya i just wanted to say i liked your theory if people are loved or squashed does it change the way the gift comes out. For me it was squashed and dismissed. I was told im too sensitive and should become a normal child and stop being me cos i wasnt acceptable. This message came from my mum and everyone else as well really but coming from her she actualy said those words all the way through my childhood. And any time i would say that i felt a ESP feeling she would say 'thats in your head its not real' ' Dont think that'
Which made me believe on one hand everything i experienced was imaginary so that i must be wrong in some way.And also made me super confused and hyper aware cos i was desperatley trying to understand the world around me. But all i could rely on where my perceptions. I believed this is when everything got super sensitive and i just stopped coping with life. I just went in on myself and shut myself away in the quiet where it wasnt too much for me. Cos the world had become a place of overstimulation, confusion and pain coming from other people. So i tried to shut them out.I had my own pain too but couldnt do anything with that but drown in it.
I still struggle now to be part of the world. IT may not suprise you that i went on to develop a severe physical illness of the nervous system.
My hyper sensitivity was definatley linked to my mothers rejection of how i experienced the world. I had to shut out the world out on some level out of sheer confusion and overwhelm and then i believe this in turn lead my brain to come to rely on my hyper perception of emotions from even far away so i knew who to avoid in the playground to keep myself out of trouble and that this change made me even more highly alert for danger and this lead to me scanning my enviroment which i still do to keep me safe
I dont know if i can ever really forgive my mother for the consistent damage she caused me that has lead to me developing the illness i now have to live with for the rest of my life and all the misery and torment that my life has been cos of the hyper overactive body,heart and mind. I think if i had been loved and allowed to be who i was it may have been hard but not agony
But im trying to work on forgivness at least. I wish there was really a real dial you could turn the world down
Its interesting that im doing some research into my illness and that its mainly HSP's that develop it. Perhaps some of them are empaths too!