Just found out my mums cancer is terminal

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Gem
@gem
last year
220 posts
I didn't know where else to go to speak about it. She doesn't want anyone other than us kids to know and I'm the only one with a spiritual belief system. Well to be fair mum and dad do but not in the same way and it's not something they want to talk about right now.We thought they'd got it all. Her scan St Christmas was clear, now there are 3 different parts of her liver where the breast cancer has gone. They've told her 2-3yrs and she's doing a trail of meds they don't know if it'll give her a yr or two extra.I'm angry but I don't know who at? Our souls I believed make pre destined choices what they need to experience. She doesn't want to leave us, she wanted to see my eldest get married, my brother...her youngest be settled and married. I can't imagine my life without her in it. I feel so sick. I don't know how my dad and youngest brother will cope. I feel helpless. I know I have to be strong for them and my own kids but I feel so broken and lost.I know I should throw myself into the spiritual work and courses I'm currently doing but I just feel like screaming.I just want it to not be true.I'm sorry for such a downer post but I just didn't know where else to outlet what I'm feeling.BlessingsGem x
updated by @gem: 07/31/17 11:26:27PM
karma
@karma
last year
159 posts

Being angry is understandable.

Do not be sorry for saying how you feel nor for being down :)

My belief system is similar to yours yet, I cannot say how I would feel if I were in the position you are in now - I can only imagine..... As an outsider I can make many a statement that would not serve you because as I say, I have no means of experience of what you are going through, I truly do feel for you.

It is indeed sad and confusing with no answers to the why - staying strong for everyone is not always the way though, remember yourself and have that scream, release the build up and cry..... allow yourself to emote too.

Gem
@gem
last year
220 posts
Thanks Karma,I think I'm in shock. I keep forgetting what I'm doing and picking up random things. I've actually just found my chevron amethyst wand which has been missing for about a month...it has a soothing and calming energy so I'll keep it in my pocket.I felt sick all day before mum rang to tell me...my gut knew something was very wrong..my brother had the same experience.Mums spiritual beliefs are being rocked by this..she's now saying she 'hopes' there's more. I hope I can find a way to show her there is. I know there is. I'm just not ready for what's happening.Thanks for your kind words. They are appreciated more than you know x blessings Gem x
Gem
@gem
last year
220 posts
Thank you Gene xLondonIvy, thanks you are right I do more than ever need to try and be in 'the now' Mum actually text that to me last night. The news has bolted half my brain into 2-3yrs time with all the fear and the other half in the past where I'm a little girl with all the loving tender moments. I'm zoning out a lot and time doesn't seem normal.I'll try as much as possible to be in the moment today.Thank you x
Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
last year
373 posts

Hi Gem - sorry to hear your news. Take a deep breath though - if you still have 2-3 years (or 3-5), that is a lot of time, to try to help her maybe overcome her cancer after all. Stranger things have happened. I am not trying to create hopes, to just come crushing down again at some point; but why not use any hope there might still be. Maybe this could actually be a real turbo for your motivation, for your spiritual work, and courses? You can send her healing energies, whenever you have the time, and energy. (N.B. I know the hard point is to send healing for a person's highest possible good (and we cannot be sure what that is?), if they are so close. But just pray and ask, that the energies are protected against any potential ego wishes of yours, which may contradict her highest purpose, and you'll be fine). And after all, the sent healing energies should save her suffering on other levels too - be more calm, be more at peace, possibly have less pain, and medication side-effects etc. It can also be an incentive to study foods, that could benefit her, crystals (just buy some jewelry she can wear, if she is not spiritual herself), etc.

My mum had cancer 10 years ago - she was not diagnoses as terminal, but it was a bad one none-the-less. I like to think that, besides two operations, and two conjoined chemos - me sending her regular distant healing helped too! Also my sister's step-mum had a very bad pancreatic cancer, but survived, perhaps because of sent distant healing too? She even now eats 'normal', without problems, even though, without a pancreas, and gall bladder, she should be on a special diet....

Supposedly there is 5 stages of grief (Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross), and anger is one of them - so it is normal!

And I would also just say a prayer, asking for help for you - to cope, be strong, be wise, etc. If noone else in your family is spiritual, you are the the luckiest yet. Obviously losing someone dear is painful, but you know too, that any loss is only temporary, as our souls are eternal....

Love and Light!

Gem
@gem
last year
220 posts
Hi Mary, I'm so sorry to hear about your father! My Mum has said similar to you..that at least we've got some time to say all the things we want/need to. My poor Dads got her eating large quantities of Broccoli because he'd read a study about it helping cancer.I've been in bed for 15hrs with a migraine..it's trying to process everything I think that's brought it on.Thanks for your kind offer, I'll friend request you. Please feel free to offload to me too..you must still be very raw after his passing. Blessings x
Gem
@gem
last year
220 posts
Hi Goodenergyhealing, yes I have thought about using my reiki on her. She said she'd let me use it to ease her passing (so presumably she means once her quality of life diminishes) I'll practice conduit of light to her from now till then though. I'm glad you mentioned ego because I am worried about contaminating any healing sent with the strength of my personal feelings. I shall do as you mentioned.I've asked my angels, teachers, spirits and guides to help me find a way through this so I can be whole enough to help the rest of my family. I've not really felt like I've been in 3d since the news. I'm full of vertigo and zoning out. Think I'll get a long Epsom salt soak to try and ground myself today.Thanks for your adviceBlessingsGem x
Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
last year
373 posts

yes, look after yourself. As an empath you might be collecting emotional responses from your family too, so regular grounding and cleansing is always good. Well, you can send Reiki from a distance always even without express permission - just ask Spirit to guide the energies elsewhere, if they are not appropriate. Or deviate them to fight any possible energetic influence on her cancer in the outside....

karma
@karma
last year
159 posts

You are more than welcome hon.

The shock is understandable too of course - Your everyday life thrown out of sync. Finding the amethyst seems like a little touch of love having been sent from somewhere (a sign so to speak)

I don`t know as much as yourself concerning stones and crystals (I carry my chakra stones everywhere but thats about it) However, thinking of you I looked up stones to aid cancer and came across sulphur. I know its not a cure all but, may hep with the negative energies that the cancer brings?

I will add sulphur is always thought of as (biblically) negative but, apparently its brilliant for thoughts, environmental clearing.... Just a thought. Thinking of you is all :)

Gem
@gem
last year
220 posts
Thanks Karma, I'll look at getting her some. I've ordered her some dandelion root, tumeric, raw honey and cacao nibs too to help with toxins.I'm going out to help the homeless in Manchester tonight so trying to do positive things instead of sitting home crying.I really appreciate your thoughtfulness!BlessingsGem x
moon
@moon
last year
73 posts

Gem, I'm so sorry for this. Many of us have been there and truly understand. The best advice I can give you is the advice I wish I'd had:

Allow your mom to make her own decisions about her health.

Be there as a non-judgmental shoulder for her when she's ready to talk about things.

When and if she's willing to listen, tell her about your beliefs in a comforting way and be honest about your own feelings.

Most importantly, allow yourself to feel your feelings - again, without judgment. Some of the feelings you have will feel enormous - just allow them to wash o er your body then let them go. When we resist feeling our feelings that's when we get in trouble. Sometimes you will be completely numb. That's okay, too.

Start a journal - so you have a place to "go" with your thoughts.

Gem, recognize that no one is prepared for this kind of loss and everyone copes in their own way. There is nothing about this that will make "sense" to you. You are on a journey - the effects of which will be with you for the rest of your life. Give yourself some space to absorb that. Be kind to yourself.

As a former Hospice worker, I would strongly encourage your family to consider Hospice when the time comes. The only complaint I ever heard about Hospice was: "We wish we'd called you sooner."

Blessings

Gem
@gem
last year
220 posts
Hi Moon, thank you so much for your thoughtful advice.A journal could be a very good idea..thank you. I had a counseling session yesterday and she suggested starting a memory box. So the two things could work well alongside each other.I'm slowly coming around from shock but have had waves of emotion in public places which has been very difficult as I hate bringing any attention to myself (brings on anxiety) wish I had Harry Potters invisibility cloak!I'll take all your advice onboard.Thanks for taking the time to respond.BlessingsGem x
moon
@moon
last year
73 posts

How I long for that cloak too! I know it's hard to cope with those feelings - they're enormous and confusing! Remember to be kind and loving with yourself. I wish you peace!

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