Energy Troubles

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Jenna A. Matsalla
@jenna-a-matsalla
last year
3 posts

First of all, hello everyone! Nice to meet you (: . I am new to this site.

I'm not 100% sure that I am an empath, but I am a highly sensitive person. The feelings of others greatly influence me, which is part of why I am bringing up this subject. I work all day, and there are ups and downs, but mainly ups because I am pursuing my passion and I work in a creative industry. However, sometimes when I come home to my boyfriend or he picks me up, I ask him about his day and he says "Oh not much, just sat around with the cats, played on the tablet, watched Netflix." He often gives this answer, or he tells me something he's done that I told him to do. After that, I feel drained, sort of uninspired, and I get quiet and unresponsive. I even talk more quietly as if talking any louder takes too much energy or effort (It doesn't help that my boyfriend can't hear well in one ear, but he says he needs to go get them cleaned... which he doesn't seem to make any effort to do so...). My boyfriend is 28 and still doesn't know what to do with his life. He works as a server at a restaurant, comes home, eats, plays games, and repeat. Any time I try to talk to him about career possibilities, he gets a bit emotional (as in he tries to avoid the subject or gets upset after talking about it for a while). Do any of you find yourself in similar situations where those who aren't as passionate in life tend to drain you a bit? What can I do to help this situation? I try to be loving and supportive of my boyfriend as much as I can, but it's tiring. He seems to be in a comfortable rut and doesn't take on challenges. I don't want his life to pass him by so I try to help without making him upset.

(I'm not saying my boyfriend is 100% lazy with life. He is making small improvements. He just lacks discipline with his life.)


updated by @jenna-a-matsalla: 01/17/17 01:36:09AM
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
last year
272 posts

Hi Jenna,

Oh boy! Yes, you are an empath ... no doubts!

It is a common empath trait that we get to process the emotions that the people around us in denial about. In your case that is your boyfriend's lack of passion and lack of motivation. In others, it could unexpressed anger or sadness or any one of the whole gamut of emotions. They stuff it ... we feel it!

While I am here, I am moved to share a saying I learned way back in my teens (many years ago) about how most women think that she can change her man, most men think his woman is going to stay the same. More often than not they are both wrong.

If I am stepping into territory with that where I wasn't invited, my apologies.

Blessings,

Trevor

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
783 posts

Hi Jenna... I read you post...it drained me so fast ...I don't want to point fingers or take sides...there's hurt there from both of you...but more from him than from you....your the one draining him everytime you bring up his career...and you feel that drain as your own...he works in a high energy draining job as well...both of you are very loud and unhappy...I don't think his job is the issue at all...it's what your picking at and blaming your unhappiness on....you might want to look into that...

Jenna A. Matsalla
@jenna-a-matsalla
last year
3 posts

Thanks for the reply, Trevor. I was pretty sure I was but I just needed some clarification from another (:> .

Thanks for your thoughts. It is a complicated situation, but I am determined to work out a solution for both of us.

Jenna A. Matsalla
@jenna-a-matsalla
last year
3 posts

Hey Karen,

Thanks for replying! You words speak truth. I love him very much and am determined to figure out a solution that benefits both us.

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