How to not get affected by negativity ~Please Help

To post a reply, login or signup

Kera
@kera
last year
22 posts

I have bad anxiety, I worry about everything. I also get very depressed sometimes about my life.

I get so upset and can't get over what some people say think/say. Everything someone feels or says takes a toll on me.

I read forums and news articles online. The comments make me cry. The stuff people say makes me so upset and it makes me hate people. Telling others they should die, and saying nasty stuff about people with disabilities and mental health problems. Even on news articles. About a kid who did a dare and almost died. People were saying he should have died since he was so stupid.

I cannot believe this world. I cannot believe how hateful it is. The only thing people care about is money. I read an article about a girl who quit her high paying,very stressful job, and started a low paying job that she loves. The comments were all saying she's a millennial and needs to grow up, and that life isn't easy and now she ruined her future.

Why? Why is money more important than happiness?

I know a family who lives with their elderly parents. Everyone's happy and they enjoy life. But people talk bad about them because they live with their parents. Why?

The people in this world disgust me.

I cry and get migraines caused by my anxiety from thinking about these things. From taking in all the negativity and hate.

I try to spread positivity and acceptance. Only to get a bunch of thumbs downs and nasty responses saying I need to grow up and face the 'real world'. The 'Real world'? You mean the mean world created by people like you? Saying this is the 'Real World' and we just have to deal with it is such an excuse. An excuse for people to be mean and judge others.

The world should not be full of hate and negativity. You should not hate your life! You should not hate what you do every day. You should not have to be put down for doing what you enjoy/want rather than what's 'normal or makes a lot of money)

I don't know what to do anymore. I like to read news articles and to spread acceptance. I like to be positive. But there are so many negative people who just like to be mean and don't care about others feelings or lives.


updated by @kera: 03/13/17 10:57:09AM
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
783 posts
Hi...my question to you is...why do you read it if it makes you upset?..what draws you there?...Do you really need to read stuff that makes you upset?...you have a choice...either read it or don't...that's the same with people you encounter.. if they're saying stuff you don't like...walk away....your choice...I know how I am...I know the world has lots of flaws....and I know lots of people are not easy to be around...always my choice who I choose to associate with....if I choose to talk to someone I gotta accept it was my choice to be there instead of doing the sensible thing and tune them out or be somewhere else...if I was you i'd keep away from all that for a while and air your energy out....stop feeding your anxiety and find stuff that make you feel good...
Kera
@kera
last year
22 posts

I really don't know. I feel like I'm meant to spread positivity and acceptance. Since I'm home most of the time I go on the internet a lot. Reading the comments has become a habit to me. I like to hear what people have to say about certain stuff, but reading the comments leads to disappointment. I guess I'm hoping for nice people, people to say intelligent responses. I'm hoping for no negativity. But 85% of the time, it's just a bunch of negativity.

I blocked a few forum sites. Because on these 'support' sites it's a lot of bullying and such. I'd hate to block news sites. I need to try harder to stay away from the comments..

I guess I'm just in disbelief over how many people are full of hatred and want to express it online through putting others down. It makes me incredibly sad. I feel like I need to address this then in the comments by writing positivity and not to judge others. Which leads to more disappointment which takes a toll on my mental health.

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
783 posts
You ARE meant to spread positivity...we all are...that doesn't mean you have to ingest negativity...you don't NEED to point out all the negative stuff to people...we already KNOW about it...lol...so...take a break...learn how to be positive without swimming in negativity everyday...I limit my exposure to maybe a newspaper left on my bus...I don't buy it..I find out about stuff maybe later than everyone else...or by word of mouth...I don't need to hear about crappy stuff every single day...and I walk away from negative ppl unless I have no other option...again...you chose how much exposure you want...anyway...there will always be negativity...you can only control what you do with you...not what other people do or say....choosing the sites that you feel good about and dumping the rest is a good thing..good for you to do...that's a positive action in your favor....anyway...just take a step back and look after you...that's more important...being an empath makes me like a sponge...the negative stuff seems to sink down to my bones if I'm exposed to it too much...it's good to know stuff...just not all at once...lol...
Kera
@kera
last year
22 posts

Yeah you're right. I just get so frustrated by the way some people act. I know you can't reason with some or show them the light, but I feel like I need to at least try. Same, the negativity overcomes me. But it's definitely affecting me in a bad way. I need to restrain myself and not look at comments. I should start focusing on the positive people, not the negative. I need to limit myself to positive sites (such as this) for awhile.

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
783 posts

Ya..I think that would be a good thing...we all go through this....being empathic gives us a whole different perspective on this negativity thing...it can actually cause physical discomfort and pain....learning how to protect yourself and take care of yourself so you can withstand and manage it all...make yourself stronger...that should be 1st on your list...not them...it's ok to look after yourself...you can always go back and give it another shot...just space it out....lol...I have to cut myself off even from this site if I feel over stimulated with energy....I come back when I'm feeling better...

Visitor
@visitor
last year
303 posts

Kera, I can totally relate to you. I spend a lot of time online because I'm unemployed, which is depressing in itself. I try to avoid looking at the news, which is almost always horrible.

Staying positive is a 24-hour job. You have to actively look for positive news. On Facebook I subscribe to the Good News Network - there's tons of good news on it, believe it or not. There are cute animal videos. There are ASMR videos on YouTube (check them out). There are always things to do that aren't negative.

You need to avoid negative people. Those people who tell you to grow up - cut them out of your life. They're going to tear you apart if you let them. When I was younger I surrounded myself with negative people and tried to cure them, or at least argue with them. Since then I've cut them all out of my life. I realized that they were getting enjoyment out of hurting me, and I was getting some kind of sick enjoyment out of arguing with them.

It's a long process and I'm still in the middle of it. But I'm far less anxious and my self-esteem is a lot higher. I don't know why the world is so messed up. All I can do is protect myself by tuning out. You can't change it all. And you have to heal yourself first. That's just how it works. Sorry I can't be more helpful, but that's all I've got - for now.

Kera
@kera
last year
22 posts

I do watch ASMR videos actually! They are very relaxing.

I'm unemployed, I've tried multiple times to work but it ends in mental breakdowns.. I'm trying to recover by going to therapy. It makes me depressed because others look down upon me. Like because I don't have a job I'm not worth anything.

I do need to focus on positivity. I need to ignore what others say and know that that's not all people that are like that, but It's very hard for me to do for some reason.

I'm stuck right now in life and have no choice but to be surrounded by family that puts me down. I feel like my worrying and anxiety and inability to let things go were because of the environment I was raised in.

Its very hard to overcome, I'm trying to work out it though!

Kera
@kera
last year
22 posts

Thank you for this! It's very true. I try to make people see the light and to see the world should be about love and happiness, but in doing so I surround myself with negativity. I am going to try to stay away from most news articles and ALL comments (since when I see a negative one, it upsets me and I feel like I MUST respond).

I need to just be me and worry about myself. If I'm okay with myself and where I'm at, I shouldn't let others bring me down. I don't know why it's so hard for me to let things go, and to just know that some people cannot be changed or able to see that life is more than money and the things you have.

I need to work on accepting myself and being happy with myself and working with what I was given.

Kera
@kera
last year
22 posts

Thank you for all your replies! You're right, negativity and sadness effect me in a different way than most. It physically pains me when I read some things people say. I need to focus on myself and becoming more comfortable with me, and accepting what my life is. I need to find happiness and understanding for myself.

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
last year
783 posts

It may not actually be a "mental breakdown"...it may be your receiving too much of other peoples' emotions...overloaded and haven't been able to pinpoint what the problem is....some of your anxieties and depressions may actually be from others...mood swings...etc...work places are the worst...haven't been cleansed of negative energy....and being cooped up in a stale environment along with unhappy people who have never cleaned their own energy...you would be overloaded and would come across as being anxiety or depression...but not yours...just something for you ro think about...it's no surprise to me your having a tough time with working...most of us have that very same problem....I could never work in an office building...or for long periods with other people...lol...it may seem odd I drive a bus...mega people...but they get on the bus then get off and take their energy with them....lol...

Bookworm
@bookworm
last year
85 posts
Karen is very wise! Haha you should listen to her :)Seriously though you already have some good replies - it is very natural to feel you want to spread your positivity and message of loveI personally really identify with what you said about hating how materialistic our world has becomeBut number 1 thing to remember is - you cannot help anyone until you take care of you first. Sounds clich but sometimes they're true, and this one definitely is!Second thing to remember is - you can't make people change - you may be able to help some people find their way, or find a better path. But in the end we all have to learn our own lessons, and that's not a bad reflection on you, if you're not the one to help someone - maybe they're not ready, maybe you're not the right person to help them get there - could be lots of reasons. But stop beating yourself up for not having all the answers! Accept yourself and you'll find it much easier to find the peace and strength you need to help those you ARE able to help!Hope that makes you feel a little better at least :) xx
karma
@karma
last year
159 posts

I hear you Kera.....

Todays world is full of negativity and deliberately so..... I read comments online and I too am disgusted by people. It took me about a year to stop trying to respond to these people, I would get so angry - crazy me starting out moralistic and ending up almost as bad in retaliation - I came to learn its best to leave them to it. If I do come across comments etc, I post a nice comment and ignore the rest..... leave a lil bit of feel good where I can - if my comment is put down... I ignore.

A lot of people are being that way for the shock factor and to uprise a reaction - dont be dragged into their silly little world (which is only a mere silly individual sat at home hidden behind a user name - they are not even bold enough to give real names - If they do? they are really just judgmental opinions that mean squat) :)

Kera
@kera
last year
22 posts

Wow that's so similar to me! I also get very angry the way people talk. The way people think makes me afraid also. I banned myself from some sites and it's helped me this past week. I was able to unban a site and read articles and some comments without engaging. I just roll my eyes lol! I don't think I should write comments for awhile. As it leads to depressing responses..

Something I need to work on.

I think it's mostly people online. They're unhappy in their own lives and they want to bring that on everyone.

I wish people could just be happy for one another and not judge.

karma
@karma
last year
159 posts

There are such things as paid trolls - paid to put down, debunk, upset, cause reactions etc...

There are also people as you say, unhappy.... I see it as happy people never feel the need to upset others. Its true, when you are happy the last thing on your mind is to be unkind.

Don`t ever think your commenting is not worthy though, the responses just need ignoring or a great comeback of wit - I love to see a nice or witty comment among the crappy ones. :)

Unfortunately the judgmental will always be around esp online, its good to roll your eyes and see them for what they are - try not to let them get to you personally, its never personal because they dont even know you, its just infantile and aggressive behaviour aimed at anyone :)

Kera
@kera
last year
22 posts

Wow that's pretty sad.

Yeah, My relatives are happy with their lives and the kindest people I know. They would never talk bad about anyone else. It's sad knowing how many people are unhappy with their lives and that they want to push that onto others.

I watched a lady on Youtube talk about empaths and that they usually feel the need to fight the negativity and it really absorbs into them. It's nice to hear that I'm not alone (from youtube to this forum)

karma
@karma
last year
159 posts

It is sad....

Nah, you are not alone and I fully agree there is a sense of wanting to fight it but, in doing so you end up stressing yourself out.... I did lol

I would try and write a moralistic viewpoint but, it would only end up in further abuse aimed at me on a more personal note. When you stop and ponder for a moment these people are hiding behind the anonymity, Or just plain nasty so best to avoid and/or ignore - say your piece if you feel a need but, don`t hang around long enough to be targeted :)

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book