reading peoples negativity and social phobia HSP

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lilly
@lilly
last year
30 posts

I just wanted to put on here a bit of what i experience and really to see if its normal for an empath.

Well i have been doing a bit of work with a therapist and they have said something that i already knew i did but it has made me think about it more.

But i am always reading people. I think i scan for any negativity of any kind. I think this is something ive done since before i could walk. I dont know if its learned behavour or inbuild. Im not much ineterested in that but more about how to heal and to do that i want to understand.

i am afraid of people and their ability to hurt me with their emotions. I can have horrendous reactions to others internal emotions they dont have to say anything or do anything. Its whats inside them that i find attrocious. Cos i kow they are often evil or have evil and hatred in them. Sometimes they direct it at me sometimes its at other people around me. I dont go out the house now cos of having a serious illness that makes me housebound. But still i occasionaly have a good few moths and can go on holidays and then i am around people again.

Last time this happened all i can describe it as is being poisioned very badly. And it was a total physical and mental and emotional i could even say it effected my spirit. It was a full blown episode of some kind that happened after meeting two people that where serving in a restaurant in the hotel i was staying at.

I managed to get back to my room and collapsed on the bed and i had this episode full on physical and all the rest it was like a mini breakdown i felt psychotic. I cant really desribe it well just my mind disintergrated and i felt all the terrable emotions one person could feel in the space of an hour which it went on for it would have gone on longer but my dad came and knocked on my door and it seemed to break whatever was happening to me. Reality ultered totaly for me as a result of these two people that i can only desribe as evil. Thats what i picked up from them. Its like they infested me with it.This energy was toxic to my very being and it was as if my whole being had been poisoned by their internal energy and me being in there sights. They had wry smiles on them. Its not the first time something like this has happened but it was so totaly extreme. Like i said it was a full blown pychotic episode and i wasnt fully aware i seemed to have gone into an altered state. But it was because of them.

In my life i truely believe that its not possable for someone to be as sensitiive as i AM. Its so out of proportion to what has happened.

I dont understand

This sort of thing has happened to me all my life. I just scrapped through life out there till i became housebound with this physical illness. Now i can hide mostly from the world. Dont get me wrong i would be out if i could i would have just moved to the country. and gone long walks in nature and been mainly around animals and only loving soft and kind people. I would have worked for myself at home. I have lots of skills that together i could make a living from. But i do like to help people as well people who are suffering.

I have a terrable fear of negativity in others and im always scanning for it cos it can make me meltdown just to be exposed to it energeticaly it does seem to be toxic to me.

How is it possable for someone to be so sensitive???

Its like i was born on the wrong planet and im not meant to be around humans. Not those kind anyway. But i have some lovely friends who are wonderful people they are all HSP too and kind caring loving people.

Does anyone relate to this at all??


updated by @lilly: 01/09/17 09:12:40PM
Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
First of all I have to ask, are you a writer?Yes, I do, but I don't have the fear aspect though. I did when I was a small child though.These feeling is what brought me to this forum. I can walk up to most strangers and feel the air around them and would know what their soul was like. In my opinion I think you also get feelings or vibs off of the "good" souls as much as you do the bad but you do not fear them because they arnt a threat to you so you don't notice them as much. But when you met these darker people instead of turning from them, feel them for a moment and you may feel why they are bad or seem bad also. That would help you conquer your fear and your empathy will flow. You cannot let that "bad " stick on you , you have to let it flow though you and away from you. It's not your fault that they are bad. Bad spirits will intimidate you if you let them. I don't know if you meditate but grounding and protection helps me a lot.I know your fear is real and it's easy for me to give an opinion because I'm not you. But I refuse to be intimidated by someone or something that I'm not going to let hurt me. Fear is not my fear , heights are my fear (and maybe spiders ). And if you was telling me to walk out to the edge of a cliff I would be saying "your crazy". So I hope we both conquer our fears. Hope that helps
Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
This made me think of youIf you talk to the animals they will talk with youand you will know each other. If you do not talk to themyou will not know them, and what you do not knowyou will fear. What one fears one destroys.Dan George
Snap
@snap
last year
103 posts

That's awesome. I always talk to my dogs now, since seeing Animal Communicators. I don't get specific stuff very often, but that quote is so true. It just doesn't matter if you consciously 'hear' or 'see' or even 'feel' stuff, somehow you just know. Awesome.

Snap
@snap
last year
103 posts

I had difficulties with a very negative person last year. He'd fit the Borderline Personality profile in Psych. He emanates anxiety and anger and his energy can be very intrusive. I worked with him and had to change things so I could stop working with him. It took time and patience but I did it.

My experience is that the way to avoid negative energy affecting you is to try hard not to *pay attention* to the person.

To pay attention truly means, in effect, to extend the mind toward (attend) something to appease (pay). We do "pay" as we are giving energy, and energy is the fundamental "currency" of living beings. We are giving our energy when we pay attention. I think this fosters a stronger connection with the person, and opens ourselves to sensing energy and having energy taken/drained.

When it comes to negative people I ask myself: do they deserve my attention? If possible I keep away from them physically, and avoid thoughts directed toward them.

I'm not saying this is easy though. I am only so successful, but with practice I'm getting much better.

Best, S

Snap
@snap
last year
103 posts

Rene' I totally agree about sensing energy of good souls. In the past I've paid too much attention to negative and controlling people. Now I really try to focus on people with great energy. In one case I started mentioning all kinds of specific things relevant to the person and his child. He seemed to think I was a mind-reader and in some sense I guess that's true though it wasn't conscious. I just sensed a very positive, fluid and comfortable energy from this person. I know someone else who is inspiring and I actually think he reads minds because one day, I could almost sense what he was saying (from above me, if that makes any sense at all) and I could see him look at me almost as though he was thinking: wait on, can you hear me too?? One day this person noticed I'd finished a glass of water almost as soon as I did, and he offered more. He's in a very high position and very busy, yet very inspiring. Focus on positive not negative, I say! (And I'm doing more and more).

Rene''
@rene
last year
1,194 posts
You are so right . I had a new manager to begin his job as quality manager. He was hard and everyone in the department and in the plant hated him. Within two weeks he had the place turned upside down . He was very strict.On the third week on that Monday morning he came though the office like a fireball , everyone jumped up like they were busy except me and he glanced at me as he walked by He set his stuff down on his desk and walked back out and said "good morning sunshine" talking to me. I said good morning , I hope you days smiles an I could see him holding back a smile. He's first day on the job I knew he wasn't who her was being judged as. And...he knew I knew. And that made all the difference.
lilly
@lilly
last year
30 posts

hiya rene. Its interesting you ask if im a writter. I enjoy writting and do quite alot of personal and journal writting. Im interested in self publishing and im working on a booklet that i hope to sell through an m.e. CFS charity about what its like to live with the illness. I will give the profits to the charity And i want to do a regular newsletter for the same charity on living alone and being housebound and the spiritual side of that. I know from other forums i write on that people find i describe things well and help them understand themselves better. This is what i love about language it can open doors that you didnt even know where there. Its one of my dreams to get into writting seriously and creative writting also. Tell stories soulful ones.

Its interesting that there are too different takes on what i asked one of you said go closer and sense the negative and why its there. And the other said try not to pay attention at all. LOL somewhat confusing.!!

But i think found that shielding and things dont work for me. The energy coming at me is too intense. I had wondered about this letting it flow through me but i dont know how to do this. It seems to get stuck inside me. Maybe i need to do some technique when i encounter these people. I feel lucky in some ways that i am housebound now it does make my life easier and less constantly stressful. I have a very quiet life and do little bits of indoor gardening and tend my houseplants, and i do hold dear the good people in my life. I do see into souls and the state they are in. I can see a good soul a mile off and i always have gravitated to them. There are very few unpoluted people in the world, Maybe im poluuted too i dont know ill leave that for others to judge.

thanks rene for the poem i liked that..... what one fears one destroys what one doesnt know one will fear. It feels like they are destroying ME though thats what thier game is ...destruction and to inflict suffering. I wouldnt leave them with a mentaly handicaped person or a elderly person that cant talk for themselves or a sweet child cos i think they would do anything to someone if they could.Some people have sugested to me that these type of people may not be humans at all. Or humans posessed by evil. This was interesting to me and i havent forgotten that.

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