updated by @justice-johnston: 01/10/17 04:32:43PM
Honey, you are not crazy. You've been through a lot and your soul is trying to heal your body, mind, and heart. Be kind to yourself. You're going to be okay. Just believe and have faith in yourself. I went through 2 psychotic episodes and was hospitalized. Yeah, it seems like craziness at the time, but it is just the mind over-exaggerating your reality because it really bothers you. If you can find someone to talk it through with, you will discover your fears are not real. We all live in our own little delusional world. The question is: are you happy with yours? Because your world is how you make it. Each time you have a fear or negative thought, say, "no, I'm going to think about this instead..." and knock it out of the way with a positive thought. I asked you if you had someone you could talk with about your fears/concerns. If you don't, you have YOU. Work it out with yourself through your favorite form of expression to get it out of your head so that you can work through it. You've got this!
No prob Glad to help. I went down a somewhat long road (15 years) of medications and I'm now free of that, thankfully. Though it is no easy feat for me now or back then. I have to focus a lot on self-care, self-awareness, and not caring what people think. I'm super sensitive and I was afraid of facing the world, so of course getting overwhelmed is an understatement and couple that with high intellect, introversion, and deep/analytical mind, and you get a smorgasbord of an eclectic righteous woman, but hey, that's me Caring so much about what others think because I don't want to hurt anyone did lead me to not trusting myself or believing in myself, so I thought, way back when, that something was wrong with me, because I compared myself to others. Now, in retrospect, I realize there is something wrong with everyone and I'm very happy and grateful to be me. I like me. And not finding someone to relate to is actually an honor. It means the person is special and gifted and has something important to offer the world, and the rest of the world should listen up and pay attention to these quiet, gifted ones, because they have the intellect and imagination and passion to change the world. Don't let them bring you down. And most of all, don't believe your own quizzacal mind, questioning yourself as you question everything. It's awesome to question everything, but at the end of the day, we have to believe/trust something, and it might as well be our selves (our inner voice of intuition/conscience/knowing). You know what's right and what you need to do and believe and who to trust. Trust it. Trust yourself. But also, don't let your fears of others overwhelm you, because although we're different, everyone on this planet is a unique soul and no one is better than anyone else. We're all unique peas in the pod and just have to accept ourselves and try to get along the best we can with our idiosyncrasies Hope this helps and isn't too much I'm 35 and have been through a lot but it's just my story and what I know. We're all somewhat different. Find what works for you, what resonates within you. Embrace your true self. And don't be afraid. Most of all, don't be afraid of yourself. Because I know, for me, when I get fearful and feel like the whole world has let me down, I've got to depend/fall back on someone, and it has to be me and the higher energy that flows through me and everything (that's my sense of "God" but we all have our own understanding of it).
God bless you, and message me anytime
Good question. I've been dealing with depression for most of my life (more than 50 years), and I'm comfortable with being labeled a "depressive" because technically I am. But I've always thought there was far more to it than a chemical imbalance or life trauma. I think being an empath has let in everybody else's miserable emotions. I also believe that past lives play into it. It's not simple. You're not crazy. If you live in this world and never feel depressed, anxious, or upside down, then you must be crazy.
HI ive also had depression all my life and anxiety issues too. I had a full psychotic breakdown at 15. With halucinations and deslusions etc. Ive had several psychotic episodes, many actualy some small some big. Im on anti-psychotic medictaion i believe for life. Ive tried coming off them its horrific without them i dont believe i would be functional without them no one knows this but my doctor even my family. Im afraid they will judge me as crazy. For me it is alot to do with severe mood swings as well. I thought i had schizophrenia too. But i was just diagnosed by a psychiatrist with depressive psychosis and bipolar disorder. But ive done research and i actualy think i may have bordeline personality disorder. This is when you have all the moods in one day. And it stands for borderline psychosis. People with this personality disorder want it renamed emotional diregulation disorder. Cos it means you cant regulate your own emotions properly. It is other people that made me this broken. Thier hatred and their toxic emotions and thoughts. I developed this illness badly cos of abuse i was getting for being disabled and having to deal with emotional abuse from carers too. It was full on and i was trapped in the situation cos of physical health issues. If there is any stress in my life i am not functional and unravel. This is just the way i am i work very hard at self care and relearning ways to be healthy.
Self care to me involves what i think what i allow in my head. I cant cope with negative thoughts like one other poster said you just have to say no to negative thoughts and not allow them in your mind space. They are like poison to us. WE can transmute others negativity with our minds too. This is something i am slowly learning to do. I have to go slow cos im up against alot of stuff and it takes time to unravel the mysteries of our personalities and find things that dont make it all worse. And actualy are healing. I wish you luck. If you havent looked already look into self healing techniques and try and nurture yourself as much as you can. Treat yourself as a scared infant and care for yourself as you would a child that was in distress.
If I may add this thought, I think the fast-paced structure of the world, and old beliefs that have been passed on through the generations (and really hard for a person to let go of if they were raised to live these beliefs for their first 18 years), people are hurting one another based on old, ingrained habits and tendancies. Some people (empaths, HSP, shy, introverts, spiritual, etc.) completely reject the modern world and don't or aren't able to conform to it. That is when breakdowns happen. I had my first one at 18. Coincidence? No. We're not delusional, even during a breakdown. The mind is just overwhelmed with thoughts of fear and the mind naturally builds upon what we think. I see it as a very normal reaction to a very wrongly run (and dysfunctional) world. I see nothing wrong with me being sensitive and unable to keep up with this world or behave the way some behave. It is very rudimentary in my opinion, the way the world works and the way many people act. I think just trying to "rise above" the current state of the world, be your self, and find a way to contribute that resonates with you. That usually means first making ourselves as healthy and happy as possible, so that we can positively contribute to the world. I believe diagnoses are for those who believe they are ill or surrender to it. There are some very eclectic people who sound crazy but don't believe they are, so they function fine in the world and don't rely on doctors or meds. It's a possibility for some and nice to keep in mind and possibly strive for.
I think its about how you yourself percieve it if the person is suffering terrably i dont think telling them that they are just ecclectic would be helpful. Personaly my life would be a living hell without meds and i dont think that means i am surrendering to anything. I need them to function just like someone with thyroid problems or diabeties needs their medication or are you saying they shouldnt take their medication either or they are just surrendering to their illness. So basicly your saying its all a matter of how you decide to think about it. Like you can just control everything with your mind. How on earth can you judge someone elses expeirence when you havent lived it! I would say a bit of humility wouldnt go a miss. That you dont know everything and cant know another persons experience. Having a varied personality is not the same as being mentaly disturbed. Judging people that take medication. How do you know so much about mental illness anyway. I know why i got ill and yes i would agree that its because the world is disfunctional and people treat each other very badly. But i would say i was ill to me that means im not functional on my own without help. Its not a matter of how you look at things it a matter of what your experience is. You cant just will things away.
If someone told you that all your problems where a matter of what you beilieved and they werent really problems you just believed they were. Thats a nice way of saying 'its all i your head' Does that make your problems magicaly disapear?? No. Does that make your life any easier. And does it make you feel cared for and heard? Or does it make you feel belittled and being told your just making mountains out of mole hills.
I can relate to the worrying or feeling that people hate me. I wonder what that is. For me i think alot of it is i am attuned to negative energy in people. So if i meet someone and their energy is full of anger , hostility and hatred in general and are just intolerant as well. I will pick it up. And i think often the person senses that i have seen them and they dont like it. I can feel like their hatred is about me but it may be more that they live in a state of hatred all the time putting it out onto the world. Anyone who they find displeasing for some reason they put it out onto.
I think also for some reason us empaths stand out more our energy is just different and people notice us more walking down the street you just cant blend in. I do think some people hate us more. I havent figured out why. But i think it is something to do with being different. They are often intolerant like i said. Alot of people are. Also i feel too that people respond to whats inside you and your self beliefs too. So if your walking about expecting rejection and are in a state of fear some people it brings the worst out in them and they do reject you and if your fearful they will attack you even if its just with their mind and thoughts. It is possable for someone to attack you with thier thoughts!
I have trouble with this as well knowing what my empath skills and knowing whats paranoia. Cos i dont know to be honest and it is very distressing to get overwhelmed by our experiences. For me it helps not to think so much just to say .... This is my experience right now how do i help myself feel better. And usualy the answer is to stop thrashing myself with fear.
I havent worked much else out yet but im working on it too. So you arent alone.
I am the same feeling targeted is very acurate in how it feels. And it is often played out as such for me that i have had people radomly come and shout at me and give me verbal abuse. But they let everybody else go by. I used to have a very tough time and i was always afraid of people and their anger,hosility and hatred of me. But i also feel i cant cope with it when its directed at others as well. I
m trying to not take it personaly these days but that is hard. For me building up a group of friends that are like minded has been the best thing for me to have done for my self esteem. Most of those friends are on the internet. But i have become housebound due to an illness and it has vastly reduced my stress levels being inside alone most of the time. I can relax and stop reading people. And no random stragers to target me. I have to unfortunatly have paid carers from and agency and i know alot of them have not liked me in the past im not sure about my present ones. But i think i accept now that il never be a popular sort of person who fits in anywhere.
I am out of sinc with the rest of the world apart from other Highly sensitives and other empaths although many of them dont know they are empaths. But i see it as my tribe and i dont get on with any other kinds of people i just dont get them and they dont get me. I dont know why it leads to hatred though i dont hate them i just dont get them. But alot of people are quick to hate what they dont understand or what is different. Ive haerd of other people talk of getting randomly abused on a regular basis by people in the street. It seems some people just seek us out.
Ive not seen inception. But it does feel like this is what others are doing that they are feeling us out and seeing into us and they dont like what they see so attack it. I dont know why they would find us threatening since we are the least likely group of people to hurt anyone. But i find the type of people that are this way to us are very aggresive types anyway and always have hatred bubbling under the surface. Putting it out into the world whenever they choose to.
Your not alone anyway feeling this way