I have two children whom I share custody with their father on a week by week basis.
I left their father about 6 years ago, and have been steadily growing healthier since then.
I have only recently come about accepting this gift, and have now discovered a lot of things make a lot more sense.
My children are 10 & 12 now, but I recall when they were babies that I struggled whenever they cried, I would actually cringe at their sadness or pain. I use to think that there was something "wrong" with me, or that I was a bad mother; but now it makes sense.
Now that they're older, and hitting the wonderful stages of puberty, I am aware that when they are over loaded with emotions that if I don't ground myself and be careful not to take on their emotions it can quickly escalate; In the past I ended up being just as angry/sad/mad as they were, now I know that I was just picking up their stuff and I am able to support them a little better by not being taken in by their emotions.
However, when they come back from dads, there always seems to be a detox period, especially for my 10 year old daughter. She usually has an emotional out burst in the first hour of being home which includes crying, screaming and slamming doors. I allow her to be emotionally I burn sage, hug her and then she usually relaxes.
My question is, what are some things you've learned that have worked when living with other people? (especially children) I have taught them mediation, grounding (ever since they were little I've asked them to feel their feet to help them ground) and we often go to the local shop to get them whatever crystals they're drawn to.
I do feel that I have done some damage to my children because while I was with their dad I was often unhinged, ungrounded and raged. I know now that wasn't all mine but it was my responsibility and now I am attempting to help my kids heal along with myself. Not an easy task so far. Any experience or helpful hints are welcome. Thank you in advance.
updated by @kaolin: 01/11/17 06:12:49PM