Trevor Lewis
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 years ago
274 posts

Hi Blink,

I seem to be posting this every few weeks here (apologies to repeat readers). I am glad you are using Elise'sEmpath Survival Program. A few other pointers:

  1. Donna Eden'sZip Up Technique
  2. theTools for the Empathgroup
  3. Thriving As An Empath - "we suffer as empaths when we are only in receptor mode, we thrive as empaths when we step into healer mode". The technique in this paper is my own favorite for reasons that will be obvious when you go there AND IT WAS GIVEN TO ME BY THE GUIDES SPECIFICALLY FOR A FRIEND WHO WAS GOING TO A FUNERAL. I personally use this technique every day and many of the people I have shared this with have had a lot of success with the exercise contained here. The main principle here is that it is about reversing the flow so that instead of from-them-to-you it becomes from-Source-through-you-to-them.

Post for us all when you are going to the funeral and we can all send you supportive energy.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Blessings,

Trevor

Trevor Lewis
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 years ago
274 posts
Trevor Lewis
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 years ago
274 posts

Nice reply, Confucius! Great advice! In addition, when you get home, Blink, put your clothes in the washing machine and take a shower or an epsom salts bath. Wash all that "stuff" off you!
T

Trevor Lewis
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 years ago
274 posts

Donna Eden'sZip Up Technique (at 7:15 in the video) is a valid link (at least at time of posting!)

Trevor Lewis
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 years ago
274 posts

OK I have cut and pasted it into a blog on this site instead. See http://empathcommunity.eliselebeau.com/profiles/blogs/thriving-as-an-empath-the-light-projector-exercise

That should work much better.

Visitor
Visitor
@visitor
2 years ago
303 posts

Hi Blink, I'm a newbie and don't know much, but I think you should go to the funeral. If I were in your shoes, I'd go to the doctor and get some Xanax, show up to the funeral, and make a hasty exit if you need to. Say that you're not feeling well (and I'm sure that will be true).

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Hello, Blink!

On Wednesday of this week, I just attended the funeral of my 93 year old ex-mother-in-law. I've been divorced from my ex-husband for 18 years, and have not seen my in-laws for about the past 6 years, as I'd moved away and started another life for myself. I am well aware of the tension that existed among these family members for years - who likes to create drama and stir the pot, who likes being bossy and who is genuinely kind. My ex has been estranged from his own family for the past 12 years that I'm aware of...he was living overseas for quite a number of years. He's back in the area and elected to not attend the funeral. Only 1 person asked me if I was ever in touch with my ex, and I quickly pronounced that we hadn't been in touch for many years. This stopped any further probing.

Our 31 year old daughter has tried to have a relationship with her Dad's family over the years, but in her opinion, "everyone still treats me like I'm a kid, and always wants to tell me what to do." She also has been criticized by them for her choices in life. No one has been involved enough to know the difficulties that she's worked hard to overcome over the past 12 years. In the past 5 years, she's elected to stay away from their drama, but still went to visit her Grandma when she was able. They were very close when she was young, as Grandma babysat for me for the first 5 years, until she went to school.

So, now that you have the background....I wanted to pay my last respects to this woman that I used to be close to up until the time my ex and I separated. She blamed me for our problems, without ever asking what was going on in the marriage. After that, I was on friendly and civilized terms with her, but we lost the closeness that we once had. (She used to refer to me as the daughter that she never had.) I was a nervous about attending...not knowing if I'd be welcomed or ostracized. My mind was going in many directions, trying to cover all of the bases of potential conversations.

I hope to reassure you, that what you build up in your mind, is usually far worse than what happens. As it turned out, it was a very subdued affair. I saw so many people from my past, who also came to pay their respects, that I never even thought that I'd see. They were genuinely happy to see me, and we shared very sweet and meaningful conversations. My ex-brothers in law and their wives were polite, shared smiles and hugs, and kept the conversations very light. I got the distinct feeling that no one wanted to dredge up the past or talk about anything that was unpleasant. Within an hour or so of being at the post-luncheon, I was able to breathe and carry on casual conversations with everyone.

My daughter was so glad that I went as a support to her, and I was glad to honor the memory of my late mother in law. It helped that I kept that as my focus, and to remember that no matter what happened, that the day was all about remembering the good times that we shared, and truly sharing my sadness with the family for their loss. I left feeling happy and proud of myself that I went, and the bonus was that I got to teach my grandchildren about the funeral process.

I don't know if any of this is helpful to you...please remember that you do have the choice to walk away from any uncomfortable situation. You can be polite and just say, "I don't want to get into any of this today." Be firm and true to yourself. Look into your heart and honor what you feel is right for you.

Best of luck to you! Please let us know how it turns out.

Hugs,

Evolving

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Blink,

So happy that you've discovered sources of relief for yourself! May this trend continue for you!

Hugs and blessings,

Evolving

Snap
Snap
@snap
2 years ago
103 posts

Not coming out as a ramble at all.

It's great that people can point to techniques and tools to use.

In my humble opinion, the most fundamental thing is that you choose how you act and you choose what you give your attention to. It's difficult in charged/emotional situations to remember this--well certainly for me anyhow. If you use a technique, it's because you choose to do so, and to my mind that is what gives anything beneficial its power.

You also have the power to say "no" by word or by conduct. If you need to grieve, you have the choice to do so and to tell people you need to do so, even if this is simply by politely withdrawing attention or not engaging.

Steve

Snap
Snap
@snap
2 years ago
103 posts

Blink, I'm not suggesting you don't go. If it were me I'd try to take check of what's happening and how I'm feeling every few minutes. You said you're only closely related with one family members and she struggles with anger. Being there doesn't mean you have to engage in whatever she chooses to say or do. You can politely indicate you will not engage, even if it is simply by not responding or limiting attention.

I'd encourage you to look up natural laws. Nobody can force you to act against your will, and this applies on a moment-by-moment basis. I realize you feel you must attend; it's what you do while you're there that counts. I agree with whoever recommended you walk away for a while if (even before) things become too intense. That is consistent with what I'm saying. It's your choice, and give a reason like "it's overwhelming" if need be. I doubt anyone will see this as unreasonable.

Best, S

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Yes, me too!

Trevor Lewis
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 years ago
274 posts

Short answer (only as a possibility):

the Onyx had done it's work and didn't need to be worn any more.

Long answer:

My own experience with a similar occurrence, click here

Glad you got through the day!

Blessings,

Trevor

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Blink,

I'm glad for you that you did the self-care that you needed to do for yourself. Glad that you got through the day without any drama. While I get the whole obvious division of family members, your sensitivity about who wished that they could interact with you, helped to bring you to another level of insight that perhaps you didn't have before.

I get it that you're heavy-hearted. That's how I felt coming home after my recent funeral. Life is too short for such narrow-mindedness and bickering. I know that I carry the same desires - for everyone to be healed and all just get along. If only we had a magic wand for such uses....! LOL! I want to be a fixer, too! But, it is healthier to walk away from situations that are unhealthy for YOU!

Interesting story about the pendant. I enjoyed what Trevor shared about his experience. Intuitively, I agree with him!

Be well!

Evolving

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