Hi. I am still very new to all this, and have only just joined. I saw other people being brave with their posts so thought I would follow their lead... I was hoping to get some helpful advice, if that's OK..?
I have a family funeral coming up next week which will be laced with a bitter family feud. I am really really anxious about this, as I know from previous experience I tend to absorb all the anguish + negativity of the situation + it becomes far too much...More so because it's family I think. I have thought about not going but that's not really an option, + I believe only serve to make matters worse in the long run. As I am very closely related with one of the feuding family members, who's not very good at managing her anger, pain + upset, + has a tendency to be a bit of a fireball, + lash out. She is very articulated, + knows how to deliver a verbal assassination, with all the blazing hatred behind it. This is just one element of her, + it's born from a pain + a vulnerability, trying to protect herself, but it doesn't make it any easier to be on the recieving end of it at all, + I am terrified of what she'll say next. Not to mention who I can talk to at the funeral, who I can't talk to... Where's the line between being a peace keeper + being disloyal??! I have already been accused of it, + I really don't think I was. Am I even allowed to grieve?
There are so many deep seated issues with a lot of pain, anger, + resentment. There is also the loss of our loved one we're meant to be saying goodbye to, + who she was. I'm afraid I'm going to be spending the whole day dodging + managing others emotions, trying to figure out what's expected of me... Watching the politics + trying not to say anything stupid... Trying to stay safe, + avoid any further verbal obliteration + painful + devastating emotional bombs. It's horrendous enough being around it all, I don't want it directed at me as well!
Sorry. Despite my best efforts, it's all come out as a bit of a ramble...
I'm trying the survival guide but any other tips would be very welcome. I really don't want to get involved in anything angry, but I'm being put into a very difficult situation where people's emotions are overruling, + too much. I don't know what to do.
Thanks for reading, even if you can't help. I hope your day is filled with love + sunshine!
updated by @blink: 01/10/17 03:51:42PM