Long Distance Relationships.

To post a reply, login or signup

Austin1977
@austin1977
last year
20 posts
The girl I am in love with is in the navy and stationed in San Deigo, I live in Colorado. When we are together it's amazing. Complete trust and deep connection. Although as soon as she leaves I get this terrible pulling feeling in my chest. Which makes me think it's a "gut feeling" that I can't trust her. I don't know how to find a cure or an answer. It absolutely drives me insane. Last time she was away I almost broke our relationship off because I was concerned with her cheating. I made terrible accusations. This is very out of character for me. Any help is appreciated. Thank you.
updated by @austin1977: 03/13/17 06:28:39AM
Bing
@bing
last year
547 posts

327_discussions.jpg328_discussions.jpgHi Austin 1977

Whether she is /is notseeing someone else is secondary to the real issue which is yourirrational thinking about yourself, the relationship, your anxiety about loosing her love,and your ability to feel worthy of this level of love. You cannot put a butterfly in a bottle and expect it to live and the same goes for love. If you keep up this type of behaviour it will become self destructive not only for this relationship, butfor your further interactions with others be it in a romantic liaison, work, or general interaction with the rest of humanity. This can then lead to paranoia and delusional behaviour. You have self confidence and self esteem issues that are at the bottom of your behaviour.

Do you deserve to be loved ? YES Can you control the world or the actions of others? NO. She sees the good in you and that you are a decent person. You are not only at a crossroads with this relationship, but also with how you will live your life from this point forward. I am going to suggest that you see a counselor that specializes in Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy who will help you get past these irrational fears that are currently creeping into your life. This is very fixable and you can then fill your life with purpose, happiness,love and be truly focused in the NOW. I am including a link to some videos on REBT, Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, that will help you realize that how you are reacting to the love affair is at the root of your present challenge. I have taken this therapy myself and it helped a lot to clear up some wrong thinking beliefs that I had. Beliefs are something that you can change by just changing the way you think or perceive a situation. When you click on the link you will see other titles as well. The REBT topic should be at the top of the page. Here is the link. . REBT

I also wish to really thank you for being brave enough to realize that you have a challenge with your present way of thinking and to then post it here at the EC. That took guts and I wish you lots of luck and will ask for angelic energy to be sent to you. Keep us informed about how you are doing. Should you ever wish to chat just drop me a line at anytime.

Throw some love into the wind.

Bing

PhiloHick
@philohick
last year
2 posts

you need to be honest with each other, if she likes you as much as you like her then she wouldn't cheat. Ask her delicately would she ever cheat. Be honest with her and tell her how you feel and it should settle your miss trust. maybe you where cheated on before but if you where don't focus on the negative. Think of hope happy you are together and it sounds a bit like control issues. If it was meant to be then it will be.

regrards

Phil

PhiloHick
@philohick
last year
2 posts

Well said.

Austin1977
@austin1977
last year
20 posts

Thank you all. Every word helps. Pointing out that I have self confidence issues and control issues has been very enlightening. I plan to work on that for myself and my loved ones.

My Second question is the feeling I'm picking up on. Its like a negative pulling feeling at my chest and it throws off my usual mind set. I have had this feeling when leaving other people. I recently really started making a true connection to my older brother who lives in Arizona (I live in Colorado.) Mid summer last year we spent quality time together on vacation. Thats something we have never done in past. When we went our separate ways at the airport I felt this same "pulling" feeling. It lasted well over an hour and i could not shake it. I was even profusely crying during my flight. Again not a usual character trait for me. All this makes me feel like I'm feeling something I need to analyze and cope with, however i haven't gotten very far. Any ideas or leads on what this "pulling" feeling might be?

Thank you all again.

Austin1977
@austin1977
last year
20 posts

I believe and agree with that unfortunately through experience.

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book