Whether she is /is notseeing someone else is secondary to the real issue which is yourirrational thinking about yourself, the relationship, your anxiety about loosing her love,and your ability to feel worthy of this level of love. You cannot put a butterfly in a bottle and expect it to live and the same goes for love. If you keep up this type of behaviour it will become self destructive not only for this relationship, butfor your further interactions with others be it in a romantic liaison, work, or general interaction with the rest of humanity. This can then lead to paranoia and delusional behaviour. You have self confidence and self esteem issues that are at the bottom of your behaviour.
Do you deserve to be loved ? YES Can you control the world or the actions of others? NO. She sees the good in you and that you are a decent person. You are not only at a crossroads with this relationship, but also with how you will live your life from this point forward. I am going to suggest that you see a counselor that specializes in Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy who will help you get past these irrational fears that are currently creeping into your life. This is very fixable and you can then fill your life with purpose, happiness,love and be truly focused in the NOW. I am including a link to some videos on REBT, Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, that will help you realize that how you are reacting to the love affair is at the root of your present challenge. I have taken this therapy myself and it helped a lot to clear up some wrong thinking beliefs that I had. Beliefs are something that you can change by just changing the way you think or perceive a situation. When you click on the link you will see other titles as well. The REBT topic should be at the top of the page. Here is the link. . REBT
I also wish to really thank you for being brave enough to realize that you have a challenge with your present way of thinking and to then post it here at the EC. That took guts and I wish you lots of luck and will ask for angelic energy to be sent to you. Keep us informed about how you are doing. Should you ever wish to chat just drop me a line at anytime.
Throw some love into the wind.