I'm a Christian, although I was raised agnostic, and I have never stopped believing in God. But lately I've been very angry with him and questioning him, like "What are you thinking? How could you let this happen?"
It sounds like life kicked you hard and no wonder you're angry and hurt. That doesn't mean God doesn't exist, but if you're angry at him, I can certainly understand why. I think it's very normal to question God and faith and religion. I think it's part of the healing process.