I always knew I was some sort of 'path

To post a reply, login or signup

Kim4
@kim4
last year
18 posts
A couple of days ago I figured out what I am. It's like now I can see exactly why I am the way I am like the puzzle pieces have finally slotted into place.theres things I think I'm open to that I've spent years trying to block I've never wanted to go down that route at the back of my head I know there's a lot more to it than reading people it scares me how much further I can go. I've spent the loadsa ffeew days reading up on it only thing issues I'm not overly affected by anything it takes a lot to put me up or down I've tried so hard to protect myself that I worry how cold I feel at times. I wasn't treated very well as a kid and in a way I'm glad as it was to teach me how to protect myself. I'm strong on my own. Now that I know if anything I feel more apprehensive I need to cleanse myself but have no idea where to start?! I've got this tension bubbling away inside I need to get rid of it I feel like I'm drowning and suffocating all at once can anybody relate atall or give me any tips on how to get some peace? I'm beginning to understand what's me and what's not I visualise myself naked of all the added influences I've soaked up over the years It feels nice to think of that it eases the bubbling a bit. I would like to nurture this side of me but am terrified what I might uncover at the back of my head I know I'm not like most people I need guidance and direction now more than ever!
updated by @kim4: 01/16/17 02:05:21AM
ConfuciousFeels
@confuciousfeels
last year
35 posts

Congratulations on finding the light. There is a whole world of wonder just waiting for you.

I recently have found it as well (within the last year). But, it started from being so cod, as you put it. I spent an entire decade as a very cold individual without realizing that it was hindering my gifts. Didn't think I'd fit well into this category until it all decided to boil over without any control from me. All I can say is don't let it get to that point. lol

My best advice would be to let go, as much as possible, and don't overanalyze any of it. Research, check out the empath training on this website. and literally - be accepting to all that you experience.

Not read, but actually experience.

It's easier said than done, but all I can say being this far along of my own path. In the meantime, enjoy the ride. :) It's going to be an amazing experience. Be well!

Kim4
@kim4
last year
18 posts
Thank u for your reply. Iam very conscious of others pain And feelings etc I block it all out. I've realised it's a mechanism I've developed to cope I sort of acknowledge it but it doesn't hurt me. I guess I've desensitised so well Its Almost like I've gone too far and blocked out my own emotion too or how strong I can feel. Every thing I've read has described me to a tee. Does it not scare u? Do u do meditation or cleansing or anything? I want to embrace it but I sense some things sometimes that scare me is that part of this? Like feeling energies or people who have passed it used to terrify me as a kid. I want to tear down those walls n see how far I can take it but I've never been brave enough. Sorry if I'm making no sense I'm just all over the place right now :/
Kim4
@kim4
last year
18 posts
Thank you gene :)Il have a look, sounds like exactly what I need a survival programme :)
ConfuciousFeels
@confuciousfeels
last year
35 posts

It all makes sense to me. I was raised by 2 cops (controlling homicide detective and a narcissistic mother). I adore my parents, honestly, for the people that they are - I feel the need to say that when using those descriptions.

Anyway, desensitized is a word I know - emotions were just not allowed in my house. It was easier to turn them off than to deal with them until it became too late (around 30 yrs old).

After the explosion, I started with meditation. For scientific reasons and because my therapist recommended it. Hard at first, but helped big time and I definitely recommend it. I'm still learning other ways myself - maybe we can swap what we find? :)

As for being scared; yep, all the time, still fee that way. But, I realized that my nature to fight all of it rather than accept and be completely open to it makes it harder and a lot more scary. Truth is, now I'm excited of all the things I'm learning, even the scary stuff. Because I now know it's all for a purpose and I'm lucky and blessed to be a part of it.

The good outweighs the bad. I just had to go through a buncha bad to figure that out.

Don't fight it, Meditation helps. The guide here helps. And everyone on here, their posts, and advice help. You're not alone. :) And it's going to be better than okay.

Kim4
@kim4
last year
18 posts
It feels so good to have someone understand uve no idea (or u probably do lol) how much of a relief it is to know that I'm not crazy and a lot of people seem to be like me.I've always been a bit different to most others. My gran always said I have an old head on a young body I need a lot of me time I'm happiest on my own quite content actually. id quite happily empty 90% of people if I could I can't cope with most people I used to wonder why people annoy me so much but now I think it's because I can read them and ingest their vibes.it's weird I behave oddly sometimes like I almost unconsciously mimic peoples behaviours if that makes sense? Almost like their vibes are manifesting through me. I'm very changeable depending on who I'm with (new people) don't know if that's part of it or not. It's hard to tell what's me and what's other people sometimes. I want to learn how to meditate or somehow harness my abilities but it's so confusing and hard like what are u ment to focus on? how do u learn to use it instead of repressing it? It's good to relate to someone :)
certainmystery
@certainmystery
last year
5 posts

Hi Kim,

I'm in the same boat. Spent most my life hiding from something and feeling awkward. Just recently, I ruled out all other possibilities and decided to embrace something I don't really understand. I am very logic driven and it took lots of obvious facts to get me to even consider something unusual.

As I've said, I have spend most my life blocking. Now I am trying to open back up and learn what I can about myself. I have told family and friends about my struggle to accept my new views and my new me. Most are supportive and seem open to listen.

I have anxiety for the first time in 15 years. I wonder how much is actually mine. My heart raced for two weeks and I could barely focus on anything. So now I am at a point where I have to realize how much emotions I take on and try not to project or manifest mine.

I think this should be fun. Blocking and ignoring didn't work and now I must try the path I been avoiding. Its not like we are doing something new, just new to us consciously. I have no clues but trust that I know more than I know and feel like I am equipped to handle this.

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book