Work vs. Private life

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Andrea3
@andrea3
last year
5 posts
Hi. I am new here. First of all, I am so happy that I found this page and that I am able to share my thoughts and feelings with you, with "my tribe".I have a weird question. Do you sometimes feel like you have to choose either work or partnership? I feel like it is too much energy for me to handle. Its either work and life "alone" or partnership, kids and some type of work which does not include many people... Cause I need to have income, obviously :)) but I dont know what type of work should I do, but thats another topic...thank you hat I could share this with you! I had to get it off my chest..
updated by @andrea3: 03/13/17 06:51:08AM
Andrea3
@andrea3
last year
5 posts
Thank you!! Shalom!will keep you posted on the improvement I have made and the decisions I have chosen to follow :)
Leafherder
@leafherder
last year
35 posts
Hello and welcome. :)Well, there's this: https://www.ted.com/talks/nigel_marsh_how_to_make_work_life_balance_work?language=enBesides that, I have noticed that empathy makes setting appropriate boundaries even more complex. I generally have to set boundaries when I am in a sense of power away from the influence of others, or relying on the judgment of someone I trust. People who get to know me knows that means I need a lot of time to myself, and I am almost never going to give a definite response straight away. It is really important to keep your internal batteries charged so you have the energy to sort out, ask for and pursue what you need. Sometimes you can find a partner, work, or both that helps you keep your energy up - developing trust helps a lot, but it takes time. And you can do it all, but you don't have to do it all at once.Best wishes and happy new year. :)
Lastars
@lastars
last year
96 posts
Hi Andrea, and Welcome! :)
I think maybe you are a HSP (highly sensitive person, it's an actual legitimate medical condition) and watching this might help you understand yourself and also help a partner be more compassionate/understanding.
http://youtu.be/FQLBnUBKggY
Our societal world is so unbalanced and we are thrown into it, sometimes with little choice, however, that does not mean it is healthy and, I believe, your psyche is telling you that you need to honor the beat of your own drum. You have to be clear on what your own 'healthy' consists of, not what society screams at us is a successful normal. Relax and believe in yourself. What would make you happy?
I would also like to say that a partner should be a blessing, not an energy drain.
...~*~...
Andrea3
@andrea3
last year
5 posts

WoW! Thank you so much! Love her videos, I am going to buy also her HSP workbook etc.

It is very hard for me to know, what makes me happy. It is only now, that I am trying to figure out the real me. I have never been happy about anything for a long period of time. Also, I have many interests, but I am not passionate about them. Also, I do not have only one focus...if I had one, life would be easier. I am kind of in the middle always, not particulalrly happy about anything, nor sad. Maybe it is just a phase now, because the partner that I am with is pushing me out of my comfort zone, which is never easy, but on the other hand, my life never worked that way. I was always "guided" and never pushed on anything, because than it gets strangeled...

As you say, I need to relax, and believe in myself (wich is hard for me and I have to learn it.. my intuition is always right, but I never listen to it...) I do want to fit in, but at the same time absolutely do not want to, so I am kind of stuck in between and it only messes up my head..

Once again, thank you very much. Sorry for offloading my life's problems on you. It just that now I am in a dark place a little... :/

Thank you!

Andrea3
@andrea3
last year
5 posts

so helpful!!! I always thought I was "slow" or something was wrong with me, because I do not and cannot give definite responses straight away!

Trust issues are huuuge, but at the same time I am really naive, is it strange combination? I always see the good in the people, sometimes it is more buried, sometimes less and then I know, when they are lying, or affraid, or insecure etc. but you have to push that feeling away, because how are we supposed to live here, when noone is authentic and olny few admit their true feelings or intentions.
I always tell my partner, whatever you want to do do it, but please, never lie, it will be easier for both of us.. I am never mad, I understand everything, but I cannot be in a partnership where there is a lie of any sort... But hey? I even lie sometimes!! even if it is a white lie... So who am I to ask him not to lie... :))

Anyway, I let myself go a little, sorry...:)))

Thank you for sharing!!! Happy new year to you too!!!

Andrea3
@andrea3
last year
5 posts
Absolutely! And also. Its that we sometimes dont want to see the truth, we want to believe that it is not as it seems... We want to believe the illusion... We want something to be nice and smooth and easy. And at least at home not to have our guards up... And just let it be...

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